Oddly enough, the fact that it worked settled my nerves, at least for a moment. Seeing Cooper’s disinterested gaze pass over me without recognition gave me the last ounce of courage I needed to drift unnoticed to the back of the bar.
The door to Stefan’s office was open. He was seated behind his desk, head bent over some paperwork, looking surprisingly . . . well, not ordinary, but more like a hard-core bar owner who would threaten a beer distributor for ripping him off than a terrifying immortal predator intent on draining my emotions to the last drop.
Then Stefan lifted his head, sensing my presence. His ice-blue eyes narrowed and my heart felt like it skipped a beat. Apparently, an unobtrusibility spell couldn’t mask the bond between us.
I let it go, regrouping my energies in case I needed to kindle a shield and dropping one hand to dauda-dagr’s hilt. “I’m sorry,” I said in a rush, needing to get the words out before he spoke. “Stefan, I’m so fucking sorry.”
For a long moment, he didn’t say anything. The hollows of his eyes looked bruised, but his gaze was steady as he regarded me inexpressively. My heart thudded hard in my chest, and I wondered if we’d gone past a point of no return, and what that made us now. Enemies? Adversaries?
And then, against all odds, Stefan laughed, pushing his chair back from his desk. “Daisy Johanssen,” he said, his voice husky. “You have . . . what is it they say in the Westerns? One hell of a wallop.”
I stared at him. “You’re not mad? You can laugh about it?”
He shrugged. “What would you have me do?” One corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile, a dimple forming there. “We’ve done our worst to each other, Daisy, and we are still standing.”
A vast sense of relief filled me, my heart soaring. I gave a breathless laugh at the sheer unexpectedness of it, and realized in that instant that I was at least a little bit in love with Stefan Ludovic.
“Close the door and come here,” he ordered me, and I did. Stefan pulled me onto his lap. “You were not the only one at fault. I pushed you. I lectured instead of listening. I knew what you were feeling. I should have known better.”
“I shouldn’t have come in the first place,” I said. “Not in that state.”
“True.” His lips brushed my shoulder. “I believe it is fair to say that we have both learned a lesson.”
“It wasn’t just you that pushed me,” I said. “It was my father, too. That last thing I said . . . it was to him.”
Stefan’s body tensed beneath me. “He . . . spoke to you?”
“Um, yeah,” I said apologetically. This wasn’t a conversation we’d had yet, not after the whole hell-spawn hunter revelation. “It happens sometimes, mostly when I’m on the verge of losing my temper.”
“I see.” Stefan cocked his head at me. “What does your father say to you at such times?”
“Oh, you know.” I didn’t feel entirely comfortable talking about it. Not sitting on Stefan’s lap, anyway. “Just the usual temptation scenario. All that you desire could be yours, you have but to ask, yadda, yadda, yadda. I said no,” I added with a touch of indignation. “I will always say no.”
“And your father’s offer is what prompted you to hurl your emotions at me?” he inquired.
I squirmed on his lap, my tail wriggling. “Pretty much. Well, that and a stupid fit of pique.”
Stefan slid one hand over my lower back, stilling me. “Next time, I will listen to you.”
“Next time, I won’t ask you to,” I said. “I’ll handle it on my own. I was just . . .” I didn’t finish the thought. “It was stupid.”
“You were upset, Daisy. You should be able to come to me at such times. And if you hadn’t caught me unprepared, I would not have been sent ravening.” He stroked my hair. “Do you wish to discuss why you were upset?”
I shook my head. No, I didn’t want to discuss my feelings for Cody with Stefan. “Isn’t it enough that I’m here?”
“One day you may have to make a more . . . definitive . . . choice,” Stefan said. “But for now, yes.” His hands rested on my waist, careful not to touch dauda-dagr’s hilt, and there was a rare hint of vulnerability in his expression. “I was not sure you would ever wish to see me again, having seen me in that state.”
I slid my arms around his neck and kissed him. “I don’t scare away that easily,” I whispered against his lips. “Although you came close. I think we both owe Cooper a big debt.”
Holding me firmly in place, Stefan returned my kiss. “Perhaps you’ll find a way to give him his heart’s desire someday,” he murmured. “To be free from the shackles of immortality and grow to full adulthood.”
I pulled back a little. “Do you believe it’s possible?”
“No,” Stefan said with regret. “It was a wishful thought. I would that it were so, but I have been Outcast for many centuries. Over the course of ages, I have come to believe that there is no force on this side of the Inviolate Wall capable of freeing us. Until such time as God in his heaven takes notice of us and relents, the Outcast are bound to our fates.”
“Maybe Janek Król is persuading him as we speak,” I suggested.
It won a faint smile from him. “I hope so. I would like it to be true, not least of all because it would give meaning to my friend Janek’s long suffering.”