I really hoped that was the case because I loved being alone with her.
“Not exactly in those words.”
“Then what did you tell her?”
My car felt too big. I wanted her to be closer to me. I looked over at her and her eyes connected with mine. It wasn’t safe to drive with her in the car. It was hard as hell to keep my attention on the road when she sat just a few feet away.
“It’s not important.” She shook her head.
“It is to me.”
And it was. It was entirely too important. Why the fuck was it so important?
We were getting closer to her house and it seemed like the closer we got, the more nervous she got. Something was definitely going on at her house. I wished to myself that she’d open up and tell me so I could help, but then again, I never talked about my problems at home so I couldn’t really expect her to talk about hers.
“Zeke?”
I loved the way she said my name—like an emotional plea, like I was the only thing she ever wanted to hold on to. It made me feel important; it made me feel needed.
“Yeah?”
She twisted the ends of her hair nervously. “Would you take me home?”
“I am taking you home, babe.”
I was hoping she’d say something else. I’m not sure what else I wanted to hear, but the way she said my name was so deep and desperate. I felt like there was something else she wanted to say to me.
“No, I mean will you take me to your home. Can I stay with you tonight?”
Just like that, my car shrunk five sizes and she felt so close I could feel her body heat against my side. What was she saying? Did she want to have sex with me? I couldn’t deny the fact that I’d been thinking about having sex with her from the word “go,” but there was a problem and the problem was I knew my dad would still be awake. I couldn’t take her there. I didn’t want her to see that.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, snowflake.”
I watched her face fall and I felt awful. I didn’t want her to think I didn’t want her because God knew I did, but I just couldn’t take that chance.
She put her head down and fiddled with her fingers. “I don’t want to go home.”
And then I understood. It wasn’t that she wanted me; she just didn’t want to go home, and if she didn’t want to go home, there had to be a damn good reason.
“How about we go to the park for a bit?”
A tiny smile lifted the side of her mouth. “Okay.”
So I went to the park close to the Boy’s Club and we parked, but instead of making out, like most people did, we talked.
“So how’s your mom doing?” I asked.
“She has her good days and her bad days. Cancer’s a bitch.”
“Agreed.”
I didn’t have to tell her that my mom died from cancer as well. When she looked over at me and nodded, I knew she knew. And that’s how the next hour went. She told me about her sister, Sydney, and how close they were. She told me about her love of soccer and about the game she played earlier that day. As tiny as she was, I would’ve never known she was such a badass at soccer.
When it was my turn to talk, I told her about how the band got started and about the guys. I made her laugh a few times when I talked about Tiny and the girls that loved him. She asked questions, but nothing too personal and nothing I wasn’t willing to answer. She was so respectful of my privacy and I appreciated her for that. Not once did my dad or her dad come up. I was thankful she didn’t ask about mine and I knew better than to ask about hers.
“Have you ever had a girlfriend?”
“Nah, just girls I’ve screwed around with.” I shrugged and stretched out my legs.
“Yeah, I heard you have a different woman every night.” She laughed, but it sounded forced.
“I used to, but not since I’ve met you.”
Her eyes crashed into mine. I wasn’t sure why I confessed that. Maybe it was because we’d been talking for so long and I was comfortable with her. I don’t know, but the minute the words left my mouth her eyes lit up. They were fluorescent-blue pools of emotion and I could tell my confession pleased her.
“Really? Why?”
I knew she’d ask me that and the truth was I didn’t know why.
“Maybe I’m waiting for you.” I looked over at her and grinned.
She took a shaky breath and looked away.
“You shouldn’t do that,” she said softly. “I don’t think I could be like the girls you’re used to.”