My body relaxes slightly, responding to the confidence in his voice; if he thinks it’s going to be okay, surely he knows better than I do. “You make it sound so simple.”
He gives me a look tinged with sympathy, and I decide I quite like Max Decker. It’s easy to see why he and Lucian are associates; they both exude the same power and confidence that draws everyone around into their orbit. “The process is simple, Lia, but the reality of what happens in the courtroom is often anything but. Brian Starnes is the prosecutor from the DA’s office on this case, and he is a good guy. He’ll try to guide you through your testimony as easily as possible. When Brian is finished, Mr. Dawson’s lawyer will have the opportunity to cross-examine you.”
When he would have continued on, I stop him. “What do you mean, cross-examine me?” I know Lucian has picked up on the quiver in my voice when his grip on my hand tightens.
“Each party has the right to cross-examination. They may or may not use that right. You need to be prepared that Mr. Dawson’s lawyer might try to discredit parts of your testimony.” I feel the blood drain from my face as the impact of his words hits me. I’m not just going into court to give a simple statement and leave. I’ve seen enough movies in my time to know I might very well have my entire life ripped apart in front of everyone there.
“But…I’m not on trial. I—I didn’t think I’d have to do anything other than testify.” By this point, I am shaking and trying desperately to swallow the bile threatening to choke me. If I wasn’t so close to freaking out, it would probably be amusing to see two strong men like Lucian and Max so upset over my reaction.
“Lia…I’m so sorry. I assumed you knew that was a possibility. Surely, the DA’s office mentioned it to you.” He mutters what sounds like a curse word under his breath before adding, “We should have met before now so I could have prepared you. Let me talk to the judge and see if we can get a postponement.” As Max starts to walk off, I grab his arm, stopping him.
“No. I just want this out of the way. If I leave now, I will be back in a day, a week or sometime soon. I’ll just spend that time dreading this. Maybe it’s better this way.” Looking down at my watch, I attempt a joke to lighten the mood. “Look, I only have ten minutes left to completely lose it, so I better get started.” Max gives what sounds like a reluctant laugh before looking at Lucian, as if silently asking him what he wants to do. Since Lucian is paying his salary, it’s probably only fair he get the final decision.
“Give us a minute, will you, Max?” The other man nods his agreement and walks down the hall, pulling out his cellphone to push some buttons. Lucian turns back to me, his eyes full of concern. “Baby, I’m so fucking sorry. I…shit, I thought you knew what would happen today. This is all on me. I should have had Max meet with you days ago. Please, let him try to get this postponed to give you a few days to prepare. I don’t want you going in there blindsided.”
I step closer to him, resting my hands on his chest. “I don’t want to start over again Luc. Yes, finding out I may be cross-examined is a bit of a surprise, and I’m nervous about it, but I need for it to be done. I don’t want to leave here today with this still hanging over me. The DA’s office probably mentioned it to me, but I just didn’t understand.” Uncaring of who is watching Lucian cups my face in his hands, looking into my eyes for a moment and seeing the resolve there.
Finally, he expels a breath and kisses me hard on the lips. His kiss conveys his frustration, but the gentle touch of his finger stroking my cheek infuses me with strength. I can do this; I have been through worse in my life. In a few hours, Lucian and I will leave, and it’ll be finished. Looking back later, I will realize that believing anything that involves my mother and stepfather could be simple was completely naive. I should have known better.
Max leads the way into the courtroom, stopping by a bench on the front row. “I’ll sit first, then Lucian if you’ll come next and let Lia have the end.” No doubt, he’s afraid I will fall on my face if I have to climb over them when my name is called. We settle in just as he requested, and Lucian clasps my hand once again. I look around the room, thinking it looks exactly like something from Law and Order. When I make another pass, a woman at the table directly in front of us is staring at us. Shock waves roll over me as I recognize my mother. Her blonde hair is now a dark brown, and she looks fifty pounds smaller than the last time I saw her. Her face is hollow and her body almost emancipated. She looks like someone fighting off a horrible disease.
“Mom?” I whisper, still in shock at the woman looking back at me. She turns fully in her seat, her eyes sliding over me and then taking in Lucian, who, as if sensing a threat, has stiffened beside me. I hate I even cared enough to ask, “Are you all right? You look…”
Her dull eyes seem to suddenly sparkle as the familiar look of malice takes over. “That’s real nice, Lia. You take off years ago; don’t say a word about where you are, and now you’re insulting me. Still just a spoiled brat.” I sit there gaping at her then wonder why she still has the ability to surprise me. Have I not heard some version of this crap my entire life? Beside me, Lucian’s face has reddened, and he looks very close to completely losing his cool. I put a restraining hand on his thigh, trying to calm him down. I needed him, which means he has to keep it together. I need to show him I can handle what my mother is dishing out. I don’t need him to fight this battle; I’ve done it my whole life.
“Mother, I believe we both know I didn’t take off; you kicked me out on the street. And in order to be a spoiled brat, I would have had to be given something in life, and you made sure that never happened.” When she would have interjected, I keep going, not giving her time to interrupt. “Now, you want something from me. That’s rich, Mother; it really is. I should have went with my first inclination and let them lock me up before helping you in any way, because you never helped me a day in my life.”
If the whole white-trash drama that has just occurred wasn’t so damned sad, I would probably laugh. She stares at me with her mouth hanging, unable to come up with anything. I have never dared talk back to her, and she is stunned silent. God, if only I had known that years ago, I might have saved myself a lot of abuse. Lucian’s big body has relaxed slightly with my words. I was scared he would think me a horrible person for talking to my mother like that, but a quick look at his face seems to show equal parts amusement and pride.