“Sure you don’t.”
I don’t miss the wink Xavier throws her way before pulling me toward the same corner booth as last night. I slide into the seat across from him. “Why do they hide being together?”
Xavier shrugs. “Who knows. They’re both crazy as hell, but together they work. I don’t know why they hide it. I’ve known for years.”
I rest my head in my hand as I lean in. “How exactly do you know them?”
“I used to work here.”
I glance around at the ripped booth seats and worn checkered floor and try to imagine Xavier working here. I can’t imagine him as anything other than a powerful wrestling icon, so it’s hard to picture him scrubbing floors and serving meals. “How long ago was that?”
“When I was seventeen, Nettie and Carl offered me a job,” he answers right before Nettie sets two glasses of water down.
“You two want the same thing as last night?” she asks.
“Yeah, I do. Beautiful?” Xavier asks and I nod. “Same as last night, Nettie.”
“Will do, but this time don’t be leaving no heap of money. We don’t want you wasting your money on us.” She swats his shoulder.
“Speak for yourself!” Carl calls from the stove. “He can leave me all the cheddar he wants.”
Nettie whips her head in his direction. “You’re going to get it if you don’t stop!”
Carl swirls a white towel around. “Hot damn! Just what I like to hear.”
Nettie rolls her eyes and Xavier laughs. “You two kill me.”
“I’ll bring your food out as soon as it’s done,” she says shaking her head and marching toward Carl, who she promptly smacks in the back of the head.
“They’re great,” I say.
Xavier’s eyes turn almost nostalgic. “They really are. I’m lucky to have them.”
While I find it endearing that he loves his old co-workers so much, it also breaks my heart. How evil must his own family be for him to be closer to strangers?
“So you’ve known them for eleven years?” I ask, still curious about his relationship with them.
He lifts his right eyebrow. “And how would you know that?”
Heat floods my cheeks. Busted. “It’s simple mathematics. You said you worked here when you were seventeen, and I know you’re twenty-eight…so I figured it out.”
“I suspect you learned my age from the Internet stalking you and Quinn did.” His lips twist.
I roll my eyes and fire back, “Just like you learned where I was staying when you dropped me off last night. I didn’t give you the address.”
He shrugs. “I always look into things I’m interested in.”
I take a sip of water to quench my suddenly dry throat. “Are you saying that you’re interested in me?”
He stares directly into my eyes. “You know I am. But I can never be involved with you, so for that reason, we’re friends. And that’s all we’ll ever be.”
I can’t help asking, “Why is that?”
He licks his lips before he grazes his top teeth over his bottom one. “I know that the kind of relationship I like to have with women will never fly with you. I can’t just use you, Anna. I respect you too much for that.”
My heart races in my chest as I think about the desire building inside me. Desire for Xavier. I know I haven’t known him long, but I feel like we’ve spent a lot of time together already. The thought of never getting to find out what a night with him would be like scares me, almost to the point where I’m willing to bend my own morals just to find out.
“What if I wanted to have a relationship like that with you?”
Xavier shakes his head. “You say that now, but I know you’d regret it later. Girls like you—you’re the long-term commitment type. That’s something I can’t promise.”
“You keep saying that, but I don’t understand why you think so? How do you know that you’re not my type? You’ve done nothing but keep me safe and watch out for me in this new city. You’re a great guy. I really like you.”
He furrows his brow and pulls his lips into a tight line. “You shouldn’t.”
The intensity in his stare causes me to swallow hard. “W—why?”
“There’s more to me than just the persona that the public sees. There’s darkness inside me that no one should have to experience, and that’s what I’m trying to protect you from. No one should have to live with my demons but me.”
The harsh reality hits me. There’s a lot about Xavier Cold that I don’t know. Some obvious issues he’s dealing with. He refuses to talk about his family, and he believes that he’s evil somehow. With all that being said, I still know there’s a lot of good in him—whether he sees it or not. I’m a perfect stranger, and he’s been there for me since the plane ride from Portland. He just needs to see that he’s a nice guy and that he’s not completely bad like he believes—that he deserves happiness too. Everyone does.
I reach over and touch his hand. There’s a slight flinch, and his harsh expression remains, but I don’t pull back. I want him to know we all have secrets we’d like to hide from the world.
“We all have things that haunt us—things we’d like to forget. The key is to not allow them to get in the way of our happiness.”