Chapter 198: A Temporizer
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
The next morning. It was just becoming bright outside when Zhang Zian was curling up in his warm, comfortable bed. He was laughing out loud from his dream where he found a beautiful and wealthy girlfriend. He could not help but drool.
"Squawk! Squawk!"
"F*ck!" Zhang Zian woke up. Sitting up in his bed, he was wondering where the noise came from.
Fina was also awakened. It was usually grumpy when it first woke up. This time, it was even more upset. Opening the princess bed's curtain with its paw, it asked impatiently, "What is that noise?!"
Half awake, Zhang Zian was confused. It took him a while to realize what was going on.
He shook his head to wake himself up.
At this time, a poem that didn't make any sense came from downstairs:
"Farmers weeding at noon, along the river in the Qingming Festival; compound caoshanhu tablets, a candidate stem cell…"
What the heck?! It was that b*tch bird.
Upon hearing the poem, Zhang Zian recalled what happened yesterday.
"A pear tree is prettier than the Begonia; all my brothers put a branch on the mountain, only mine was missing."
The Apprehensive Bird's voice was loud and clear. Zhang Zian felt as if he could see the way it read the poem.
Fina pulled a long face, "What the heck is going on?"
Fina had gone to bed after coming down from the roof, so it hadn't met the new member yet.
"Well," he explained, "It is our new member named… Richard Jefferson, an African grey parrot."
"A parrot?" Fina paused. "I don't care what it is. It better shut up; Otherwise, I am going to teach it a lesson!"
"Okay. I am going to stop him."
Jumping out of his comfortable bed and putting on his jacket, Zhang Zian quickly ran downstairs.
As soon as he came down, he saw Richard perched on the metal bar in the middle of the glass door. It was excited and looking around.
It saw Zhang Zian and said creepily, "A great night with one beauty is priceless. Even a king would give up everything for a pretty girl…"
"What the f*ck?! Shut up!" Zhang Zian stopped it. It was so loud that the pedestrians outside might have heard him.
Galaxy and Old Time Tea were both woken up. Galaxy jumped down from its crib, yawning. Old Time Tea rubbed its eyes, shook its vest and put on its hat.
"I am the Apprehensive Bird!" it said, helplessly. "Do you understand what an Apprehensive Bird is? If I shut up, then I am no longer the Apprehensive Bird!"
"If you continue talking, I am going to turn you into a speechless bird!" Zhang Zian said as he picked up a strappy item from the ground. "Do you see this?"
"Yeah. What do you want?" It tilted its head and looked at the strap.
"If you don't shut up, I am going to tie your mouth closed with this," Zhang Zian said as he gestured to the item.
With its eyes wide open, Richard seemed fearless and discovered something new from Zhang Zian. "I never thought you were into this, Jeff… I love Japanese Turtle Binding as well. This strap is a bit too thick to be fun, though!"
"Shut up, you dirty, b*tchy bird!" Zhang Zian was helpless. He looked down at the strap and had a different feeling. Such a dirty bird! What if it taught something bad to Galaxy?!
"I am telling you. There is a golden cat upstairs. It doesn't like jokes like that. You'd better behave in front of it. That's my kindest warning to you." He was being proactive.
"Who is talking behind my back?"
Fina walked down the stairs, elegantly staring at Zhang Zian.
Pointing at the Apprehensive Bird, Zhang Zian said, "It was the Apprehensive Bird!"
"What?"
Richard opened its mouth, looking at Zhang Zian with a big surprised face.
Zhang Zian made a face that said, It was your fault. You made a fool of me yesterday in class!
"Are you sure?" Fina didn't believe him. It stared at Zhang Zian and said, "I thought I heard you speaking?"
"That was a mistake. It was that bird!" Zhang Zian swore.
Richard understood immediately. It knew Zhang Zian was scared of Fina so it started talking, "Squawk, squawk. I am… Richard Jefferson. How are you, my beautiful elegant queen Elfin of the cats? Please accept my warmest regards. I wish the wind will be your excellence to every corner of the world."
It placed one wing in front of its chest and bowed to Fina as it spoke, acting like an elegant gentleman, and seeming totally different than it had a minute ago.
What the heck?! This bird was a temporizer!
Even Old Time Tea was confused.
Sitting on the ground with its eyes half-closed, Fina nodded with pride, "I accept your humble praise. I am the guardian for Fina Paris XIII, the unvarnished empire. I like shiny things!"
Zhang Zian had to tell it the truth. "It was just kissing your ass!"
"Stop! It was giving me its devoted heart!" Fina was mad. "Since I started to live here, this is the first 'person' who's treated me well. Why are you trying to sow discord?"
Zhang Zian explained patiently, "No, I am not trying to sow discord. This bird is dirty-minded and b*tchy. It was making up some inappropriate poems just a minute ago! I don't want you to be fooled."
Richard pretended to be helpless. "My dear Mr. Jeff, you don't have to lie to our Queen. I am not here to replace you."
"Shut up! I was never scared of being replaced!" Zhang Zian was upset. "I can't stand the fact that you are trying to fool Fina!"
Richard bowed its head with sorrow. After a second, it raised its head and said, "I swear to the sun and the moon about my loyalty to my Queen. If I had a next life, I would like to be a cat and serve you forever and ever, My Majesty!"
"Well, you don't have to wait until your next life. I will help you get to your next life right NOW!" Zhang Zian looked around to search for a weapon.
Richard flew up, landing behind Fina and stayed away from Zhang Zian, "My Majesty, please save me! Save my life!"
Fina pounded its paw on the table, "Stop it! Who would dare do anything to Richard!"
Standing behind Fina, Richard made a face to Zhang Zian when Fina couldn't see it.
Jumping up and down, Zhang Zian was choked up with anger, "What a b*tchy bird! Come here! I will kill you!"
"My Majesty, this man is trying to threaten me. Threatening me is an offense to you, my Majesty! Please help me!" Richard asked Fina for help.
Fina nodded, "You are right. Zhang Zian, how dare you disobey me in my palace? Put down your mop!"
Zhang Zian was speechless. This was not an Apprehensive Bird. It should be an ass-kissing bird!