My skin flashes cold, and a little seed of dread starts to burrow in my gut. What on earth could have happened during the time we’ve been in that air that has him needing to explain things to me? Or better yet, what would make me have cause for worry?
And then, the cold flushes through me again when I realize what he could mean. Or more importantly, why he’s worried about me.
“They found out about our relationship?”
He nods, his expression darkening.
“And that bothers you?” I continue, trying to field my way through the many things that could be wrong here. I’m not sure how I feel about him being bothered by our relationship becoming common knowledge now that we’re being faced with it. He had assured me he wasn’t ashamed or hiding our relationship, and I believed him. I know he’s immensely private and not broadcasting us is a lot different from intentionally hiding it.
“That the media knows about our relationship? No. But I know how they work, Willow. They take a grain of truth, a sliver of the privacy I value, and splatter it with whatever lies they can in order to make their money. The truth doesn’t pad their pockets, not when it doesn’t hold anything sordid.”
I lean back in my seat, my hands falling from his hold. Even though I didn’t intentionally pull away from him, I can see the hurt in his eyes.
“What are they saying?”
He shakes his head, his shoulders dropping with a loud sigh. “The normal things. Speculating about how serious we are, where we meet, and who the woman in my life is.”
I reach out to take his iPad from the table to see for myself what is being said, but when he notices my intent, he reaches out and grabs it from my grasp. The swiftness in his movements causes me to snap my hand back as if he had physically slapped it. That little seed of dread starting to sprout.
“Promise me, Willow, that you will just let me take care of this. Let’s get to my house and we can sit down, but I don’t want you to fill you head with that garbage until we can talk. We need to plan on how we want to address the media with our relationship officially and not just with hypothetical talk about what would happen if they found out. They know, and even though I would normally never address my private life with them, you know how I feel about hiding you. I won’t do it. I just need you to let me explain a few things before we decide what to do.”
“Why do I get the impression that there is more going on right now than you’re telling me?”
He unbuckles and kneels down in front of me. “I love you, Willow. Trust in that and trust in me. You know there are things I haven’t told you, but I haven’t kept them from you for any other reason than I had made a promise to someone that I wouldn’t talk about it.”
“Not even to me,” I add. I’m not mad about that. I know how important his word is to him, his integrity that his trust is worth something more than just a word. But it still unsettles me. That being said, I think it would be more unsettling if he had no issues breaking the trust he had asked someone to have in him when our relationship started out with me blindly giving him my trust.
“I’m sorry, baby. When I gave my word, it was before I ever imagined what we have would become a reality. The love we have is the best kind of unexpected, and you have to know how much I hate keeping this from you. I’m telling you, with absolute honesty, that I will tell you everything, but I have to do that without breaking my word. There are too many people who can get hurt, and I refuse to let you be one of them.”
Taking a deep pull of air, I nod. “Okay, Kane. I trust you, and I know you wouldn’t keep secrets from me that would hurt me. Before we leave this spot, though, I’m going to ask something of you that I had when we first started this. Please don’t make me regret giving you my trust, Kane. I love you more than you’ll ever know, but if you’re keeping something from me that affects our lives, I deserve to know.”
His jaw works, clenched in frustration, and he runs one hand through his thick hair. “I promise that it isn’t anything that will affect us and our lives directly, regardless of what the media is saying.”
The air between us ripples with uneasiness. I can see it in his eyes, the love that he has for me, but I also see the apprehension and worry written over his features.
“We’re in this together, Kane. Just don’t shut me out.”
He sighs; one of acceptance and relief that I’m not fighting him on his request to let this be until we get back to his home. “I won’t. Come on, love, let’s go home.”
Despite the uneasy feeling I had while we were landing, the ride to Kane’s Malibu beach house was lovely. William had landed in a small, private airstrip just outside of Santa Monica that Kane owned. A Range Rover similar to the one we had been driving around in while in Georgia and New York was waiting for us, and after Cam and Kane had transferred over our luggage, we began the drive.
Kane pointed out different locations as we drove, and his hand was always in contact with my body somehow; as if he was worried that I would disappear if he didn’t physically know I was with him. The conversation wasn’t forced and neither was his affection.
I wasn’t nervous about what was to come. I know that Kane is honorable in his trust and he isn’t trying to hurt me. It’s just the opposite; he’s looking out for me and us. I can’t be mad about that.
I settle into the soft leather under me and rest my head on his shoulder, my hand settling on his hard thigh, and I enjoy the ride. There’s no need to consume myself with negativity.
It has no place today, the day we begin our lives together.
I must have dozed off because the next thing I hear is Kane cursing next to me.
“What?” I gasp and jerk to sit up, looking around us. Dusk had settled around us, the darkness of night starting to claw its way free, but the only thing I see is a brightly lit home, a few cars, and a whole lot of nothing.
Kane’s house is set away from the beach. He had told me that in order to maintain his privacy, he had bought land that was high above the jutting rocks of one little butted-out piece of land. Enough area was fenced off between the cliff and trees; we were almost on a little island of our own.
He had also explained that he has enough security to give the White House a run for its money. So for the life of me, I can’t understand what would have set him off. The expression on his face coupled with the curses that woke me had me expecting to wake with cameras and reporters in our face.