His hands come up and frame my face, moving in closer, but not touching me past his two warm hands. Comforting. Strong. Reassuring. But most importantly, not judging me.
“You know I have a lot of issues with how I see myself. It’s taken me a long while to get to where I am right now, standing in front of you and even telling you all of this. Bottom line, intimacy and fear run hand in hand with me. I’m so afraid, Kane, that deep down when you see me, all of me, you will be so unsatisfied because I’m not even close to the women you’re used to.” I rush the last of that out in a breath of words, and I would question whether he understood me except for the rapidness of his breathing and the slight flare of his nostrils.
“I won’t tell you again, Willow,” he starts, his voice a deadly calm. “Those women hold nothing to you. They aren’t the ones I want. You are. If I have to knock each and every one of those fears out of your mind, I’ll gladly do it if it means you understand, without a shadow of doubt, that when I look at you, I fucking love what I see.”
“And that, Kane, is what scares me the most. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to let it all go to get there, no matter how hard I want to.”
His eyes go soft. “Give me your hand then, Willow, and let me take you there.”
I follow Kane through the doorway and look around the entryway. What the heck am I doing? I can hear Kirby and her family laughing somewhere in the back of the house. I turn to look at Kane as he walks in behind me and give him a shaky smile.
When Cam came back to get us, I know it was his intention to take us to the house he’s staying at, but Kane’s words about why he has me in his space had me speaking up and telling Cam to take us here. If Kane was shocked, he didn’t show it. Instead, he gave Cam a small nod and turned to look out his window, but not before I saw the smile that took over his face.
And not once during our short drive here did he let go of my hand.
Even when we arrived, he only let go long enough for me to climb out behind him, but the second I was out of the SUV, his hand was back in mine. He’s taken my words to heart, and he is showing me that he understands my needs by taking my hand and literally helping me get there.
“I’m going to let Kirby know we’re here so she doesn’t freak out if she wanders over to my end of the house.”
He doesn’t respond; instead, he starts walking deeper into the house, his hand still holding mine. When we round the corner that brings us into the large family room, each of the three Evans family members look over at us in shock.
“Willow!” Alli jumps up and runs to give me a hug. She smiles one of her adorable innocent smiles and looks over at Kane. “Hi!”
“Alli,” Rob starts. “Come on, little one, it’s way past your bedtime.”
She continues to stare up at Kane but defiantly rolls her eyes at her father. “But Dad! Mr. Masters is here, and I heard Mommy tell you that he is going to melt Willow’s pants off her. I gotta tell him that’s not okay.”
“Oh, my God,” I rush out.
“Allison Marie!” Kirby gasps.
Rob just shakes his head before bending down and playfully throwing his daughter over his shoulders. “Sorry about that.” He shrugs and takes Alli laughing toward the kitchen, and I’m assuming the back stairs that will lead to their end of the house.
When they’ve cleared the room, I look over and narrow my eyes at Kirby. She holds her hands out and laughs. “Oh, whatever. I could say something to defend what I said, but both of you know it’s true, so just shut it.”
Kane laughs and I look over at him. He isn’t embarrassed; if anything, he loves this.
“What are you doing here? Didn’t you have plans?” Kirby asks.
“We still do,” I tell her and try to tell her to shut up and leave with my eyes.
“Ah. I see. Well, carry on, children. I’m going to go up and spend some time with my crazy kid and husband. Have fun and all that.” She grabs the television remote and clicks the power off, moving to leave the room. “Hey, Wills, I saw a few bikes in the garage earlier.” She doesn’t give me a chance to respond, which I’m sure was intentional since she was giving a not so subtle reminder to me to buck up before she leaves the room laughing.
“She’s interesting,” Kane tells me, his mouth near my ear and his breath making my whole body tremble.
“Yeah,” I breathe.
This time, I reach out and fold my hand around his, walking back the way we just came and pulling him toward the stairs leading to my end of the house. Each step I take has my heart beating more and more erratic. Even though I feel like I’m about to swallow my tongue, I’m positive I need to make this move, especially since he knows how nervous I am. I want him to know that even with that, I have no doubts about where this is headed.
“Willow?” he asks when we step through the threshold and into the bedroom. His bedroom.
I turn to him, dropping his hand and trying not to pass out with how quickly my breaths are coming now. The violent pounding of my heart takes over my body until I feel like I can hear the blood roaring through my veins. He takes a step forward, the warmth of his nearness bathing the front of me. We aren’t touching, but it feels like he’s consuming every inch of my body.
“Are you nervous right now?”
I nod.
“Tell me why.” His demand, steady and calm, gives me the courage I need to tell him. To open a vein and bleed my insecurities.
“I’m not perfect,” I whisper.
“And neither am I, Willow. I don’t want perfect. What so many see as perfect, to me, is fake. Perfect isn’t achievable naturally. No one, and I mean no one, is perfect.”
I’m shaking my head before he’s even done speaking, but one long finger comes up and presses against my lips before I can speak.
“No, let me finish. There isn’t beauty in perfection. It’s as fake as the image the word projects. Beauty is found in imperfection, Willow, because to admit you’re not perfect means you’re admitting you’re not whole and absolute. When I think of myself, I see someone willing to admit he’s as far from complete as it gets because, in order to get to that perfection, I need to find the other part of me who will make my life better. To take all the faults I have and fill them, and only then will I be there. You see, the way I see it, the only way to become perfect is to find that perfectly imperfect person who brings it out of you.”