Shit, she was doing well just to breathe.
An overwhelming mix of emotions was stirring inside of her. Defiance, panic, anger, submission. The least of which was the latter, but she was trying.
The hardest part was the fact that she wanted Xander to touch her. She wanted to touch him. Up to that point, she hadn’t had the pleasure of putting her hands on him, unless stroking him through his slacks earlier that morning counted. Since she hadn’t had the pleasure of touching him skin to skin, she didn’t consider it. And just the thought of exploring him inch by inch was driving her crazy.
Once he had her properly restrained, Xander’s hands caressed her bottom again and she fought the urge to groan. God, his touch was exquisite. The way his big hands formed to her body perfectly, it was as though he was built specifically to touch her.
“Lovely.” Xander’s word caressed her skin as smoothly as his hands, causing Mercedes to suck in a breath.
The more she thought about it, the more she realized she could handle whatever pain he dished out, whatever punishment he felt she deserved. But it was his reverent tone, the way he seemingly admired her that was breaking down her resistance.
The worst part about it: Mercedes didn’t associate approval with submission.
Which was a new lesson for her as a Domme. She gave her approval when it was earned, lavished her subs with kind words when they did what she expected them to do, but never once had she put herself in their shoes. To hear it, the tone of Xander’s voice ringing with the honesty of his words, caused her chest to swell with an emotion she wasn’t sure she was ready to feel.
She’d always associated submission with the inability to be in control. Her subs wanted her to take all control from them. Some let her do it easily, others were resistant. But all in all, they needed that from her.
For her, losing that control wasn’t an option. It meant someone else could overpower her, rob her of her strength, shatter her self-confidence.
Even though she could look at submission from a clinical perspective, through the eyes of a Domme, she still resisted the idea of letting someone have so much power over her.
Mercedes stopped thinking when Xander slid her panties down over her hips, leaving them to rest around her thighs. She’d already been exposed, the G-string he’d provided for her to wear had done little to cover her. But this was about making her feel vulnerable and being on display for him. Her panties provided a constant reminder of that fact. She was sure that was his intention.
“Are you wet, pet?” he asked, his fingers slipping down the crack of her ass.
She didn’t answer him. She couldn’t.
“Shit!” Mercedes screamed when Xander’s hand landed firmly on her ass, the heat from the contact blooming instantly.
“Answer me,” Xander boomed, his voice echoing in the small enclosed space, jerking her to attention.
He sounded… angry.
She saw him move into her field of vision, felt his hands as they fisted into her hair as he lifted her head. The next thing she knew she was looking at him. There was no anger in his beautiful green eyes, only dominance.
“Answer me when I speak to you. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Sir,” she whispered, keeping her eyes locked with his.
“If you want this to end, you know what you have to say. I’ll let you go, and we’ll move on with our lives. But in the meantime, you will not top from the bottom, do you understand?”
Top from the bottom?
Oh, God. Was that what she was doing?
Crap.
Now that she thought about it, yes, that’s exactly what she was doing. She was holding out on them both in her attempt to keep control. Not only was she denying herself pleasure, she was also denying him his. And that was unacceptable. Even to her.
“Yes, Sir. I understand, Sir,” she said in a rush.
“Good.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers in a kiss so gentle, so sweet, she felt it to her toes.
That’s exactly when she knew…
If she wanted to please him, which she did, she was going to have to do what was necessary.
Mercedes was going to have to submit.
Chapter Eighteen
Xander peered into Mercedes’s eyes after he kissed her, willing her to feel what he was feeling. To know what he wanted from her.
That’s when he saw it.
But before he could swallow the lump that had formed in his throat from her nonverbal acceptance, she had him dangerously close to going to his knees with what she said next.
“I’m ready, Sir. I’m at your complete mercy, Master.”
Xander’s heart thumped painfully hard against his ribs as he continued to stare into her eyes, wanting nothing more than to believe what she was telling him.