Everything but the hurt.
Eleven
The knock at Gem’s apartment door came right on time. The table was set, the rosemary pork loin and oven-roasted potatoes were almost done, and dessert, a homemade pineapple upside-down cake, sat on the counter, looking all glazy and perfect. Kynan wouldn’t know what had hit him.
Nerves made her palms sweat as she walked to the front door. She’d put on her most conservative but sexy clothes—a flared, above-the-knee black skirt with a subdued skull-and-bones design at the top of the slit in the back, a creamy, sheer lace top, and chunky-heeled, ankle-high boots.
She was going to make him eat his rejection.
Her resolve almost flew out the window when she saw him. He looked hot, as usual, dressed in worn jeans, a blue sweater, and the leather bomber. His spiky hair was wet and he smelled like outdoorsy soap.
God, she wanted to jump on him, take him down to the floor, and ride him twice before dinner. Resisting the urge to fan herself, she ushered him in.
“Wow,” he said, as he stepped into the entryway. “You look nice.” He sniffed the air. “Something smells good.”
“Pork loin.” She led him to the kitchen. “Something to drink? Beer? Wine?”
“I don’t drink anymore.”
She drew up short as she reached for the fridge door. “Oh. Okay.” She didn’t drink, either. Not much, anyway, and she figured he was thinking that as he eyed the tattoos that circled her wrists, ankles, and neck. The magically enchanted designs prevented her demon half from rearing its evil head when she was angry or upset, but alcohol reduced her ability to control the demon inside and negated the power of the tattoos.
She turned around slowly, drew an appreciative breath as Kynan braced a hip on the counter and crossed his feet at the ankles. She let her eyes drop for just a second, to his slim h*ps and long, muscular legs, and then, with a shake of the head to bring her back into focus, she said coolly, “So, are you going to tell me why you left with the Army that day?”
“No small talk, huh?”
“No point in it.”
He blew out a long breath and looked up at the ceiling. “Remember how I told you I needed to find myself again?”
She nodded. “Before your Army buddies broke in, you said you were going back to The Aegis.”
“That was the plan, but the Army wanted me back. They told me they thought I was part of some prophecy.”
“Tayla mentioned something about that,” she snorted. “Do you know how cryptic prophecies are? And how often they don’t come true?”
“Yeah. I know. But I needed to find out why they thought I was involved, and if the fallen angel thing was true.”
“ ‘Fallen angel thing’?”
He met her gaze. “Apparently I have a fallen angel perched in my family tree. From way back. Probably Biblical times.”
Well, that was kind of cool. “So the Army thinks this is important?”
“That’s why they wanted me back. They didn’t really give me a choice.”
“Oh, come on,” she scoffed. “You’d have gone anyway. You and your hero complex.” It was a bitchy thing to say, but he just shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and nodded.
“I deserved that.”
“You more than deserved it.” So much for keeping her temper in check. “How could you do that to me? I mean, I get why you left, but how could you tell me you want me and then turn around and send a kiss-off message through Runa? You couldn’t do it yourself? What kind of chickenshit move was that?”
“The kind of move that sends you straight to some other guy,” he snapped.
“And you wanted that… why?”
Suddenly he was in front of her, his hands clamping down on the kitchen island behind her, penning her between his body, his arms, and the counter.
“I was in a really bad place. I missed the hell out of you, and I figured that if you moved on, I could concentrate on what I needed to do. But I should have known better, because I couldn’t think about anything but you.” He emphasized his words with a slow grind of his pelvis against her belly. “The idea that another man might have been making love to you killed me.”
“Good.” She tilted her head to look at him. “You hurt me.”
He lowered his mouth to hers. “I’m sorry,” he said against her lips, and a shock of heat sizzled all the way to her core. “I’m so sorry.”
Tentatively, he kissed her, but she didn’t kiss him back. At least, not until he swiped his tongue over her bottom lip while pushing his h*ps into hers, making her gasp and open up to him. Instantly, he penetrated her mouth, the hot, wet slide of his tongue against hers forcing her participation.
A slow burn heated the blood in her veins, loosened her up so that when he dragged his mouth along her jawbone and down her neck, she threw her head back and thawed completely.
“More?” he murmured against her skin.
All she could manage was a soft, “Mmm-hmm.”
Her breath caught as he swept her up and spun around to plant her butt on the table between the plates and the candlesticks.
Roughly, he shoved her skirt up around her waist and then unbuttoned his jeans. He didn’t release himself, instead turning his attention to yanking off her panties. They tore when they caught on one of her boots, but she didn’t care. He did that to her, made her forget everything except how she felt when he was touching her.
Needing closer contact, she gripped his shoulders, but he caught her wrists in one of his large hands and stretched her arms over her head. He hooked his other arm behind her waist and bent her back, dragged his tongue from her throat to where her shirt gaped open between her br**sts as he lowered her to the table.
He looked at her, the raw hunger and flickering candlelight making his eyes flash. “I’m going to do you right here on the table, Gem. Can you handle that?”
“Yes,” she moaned, and tightened her thighs around his h*ps so her core fit tight against his cock, which had been freed from its denim prison. She could handle anything he dished out. She’d have sex with him anytime, anywhere, in any way he wanted to do it.
Later, she’d chastise herself for being such a pathetic doormat, but right now she just wanted to revel in how he made her feel. And right now, he was feeling her arms, sliding his fingers down the sensitive insides until he reached her rib cage. Tingles shivered over her skin, and they only intensified when he unbuttoned her shirt to expose her braless br**sts to his gaze and his hands.
She bit her lip to keep from crying out when he rubbed slow circles around her ni**les and then lowered his head to flick his tongue over the tightly pebbled tips.
“You like that,” he growled. “Say it. Tell me what you want.”
“Bite them,” she breathed. “And fill me. I need you inside me.”
A shudder shook his body, as though he was relieved to have been given the go-ahead. A stab of pain sliced through her as his teeth closed on one nipple, not hard, but with just enough pressure to enhance the pleasure of his shaft stretching her entrance as he slid home.
She tightened her thighs around his waist and arched up, taking all of him as deep as he could go. For a moment he remained still, using his teeth, tongue, and hands to create the most exquisite sensations in her breasts. But too soon, yet not soon enough, he stood straight, grasped her hips, and tugged her firmly against him. Her legs dangled over the side of the table, her butt just barely on the edge.
The vulnerability of this position was breathtaking, her skirt bunched around her waist, her br**sts exposed, her arms still over her head because she dare not move them. Not while he watched her with a commanding expression on his face, the orders issued through his gaze alone.
Heat from the candle flames licked her skin, tiny flicks of warmth. She longed to feel Kynan’s tongue licking her like that, swirling around her navel piercing, tracing the long-stemmed rose tattoo on her leg, stroking between her legs.
But she didn’t think she could ever ask for that. She might possess self-confidence when it came to her job, but her sexual inexperience made her too shy in the bedroom.
Closing her eyes, she rolled her hips, smiling at the sudden hiss of air between his teeth. “You’re wanting to come already?” His thumb spread her folds and found that sweet spot that made her cry out. “Can’t wait, huh?” His h*ps pumped once, twice, bringing her to the edge.
“God, yes,” she gasped.
“I want to make you come over and over. Every day.” His voice was husky, smoky, and she wondered what it would feel like if he spoke against her aching core.
“Oh, yes… Kynan… now.”
As though a dam had broken, he began to pound into her, at the same time he slid her back and forth on the polished tabletop. The friction burned her back, candle wax sprinkled onto her belly and breasts, and lust blazed between her legs.
His pace became furious, and the wet sound of their bodies colliding became a trigger for that most primitive response for any human or demon. Release blasted through her, rocking her so hard that one of the candles tipped over, splashing hot wax across her ribs even as Kynan’s hot s**en splashed inside her.
It struck her then that he’d not used a condom.
She was on the Pill, thank God. She wasn’t worried about disease. She was much more worried about accidental pregnancy. Any child born to her and a human would be three-quarters human, one-quarter demon, and, to many, an abomination.
Though she could scarcely breathe, she managed to lift her upper body enough to prop herself on her elbows. She and Kynan were still locked together. He stood between her legs, head hanging, chest heaving with the force of his breaths. His sweater had ridden up, revealing a holster beneath. He was armed, ready for a fight.
“Shit,” he breathed. “Condom.”
“I’m on the Pill.”
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t wait. The thought of that… guy… touching you—”
“What guy?”
“Last night. I saw you with someone in the hospital parking lot.”
Bitterness welled up, ruining her postcoital glow. “Lore? So that was what this was about? You were jealous?”
In the dim light cast by the candles, she saw his expression turn savage. “What were you thinking? The guy is a demon—”
“And that’s none of your business.” She shoved at his chest hard enough to make him step back, and she nearly cried out at the loss, the emptiness. “You gave up the right to be jealous when you dumped me.”
“That’s not how it was.” His voice was hard and his jaw was tight as he tucked himself back into his pants so quickly that in seconds she never would have known they’d just had incredible sex.
Except she was still exposed, half-naked. Awkwardly, she yanked down her skirt and tugged her shirt together to cover her breasts. “No? That’s how it was to me. And this?” She gestured between them. “This wasn’t making love. This was a jealousy fuck. A year ago, that would have been enough for me, but not anymore. So get out.”
“Gem—”
“Get. Out!”
He regarded her with shuttered eyes, his frustration obvious in the taut lines of his body. For a second she thought he’d argue, but then he stalked to the door and whipped it open. She hadn’t thought he could hurt her more than when he’d given her the kiss-off through Runa, but as he closed the door behind him, she realized she was wrong.
So very wrong.
That could have gone better, Kynan thought, as he walked down the hallway of Gem’s apartment building
He scrubbed his hand over his face and tried to tell himself that he wasn’t the world’s biggest bastard.
Liar.
He’d come over here to talk, to be seductive and romantic… and instead he’d treated Gem like she was a sex toy. He’d wanted her, he’d been jealous, and selfishly, he’d acted on impulse.
He turned around and stared at her door, tempted to go back and explain. Apologize. Except she was seriously worked up, and he doubted he’d get far.
He was such an asshole.
Asshole doesn’t cover it, asshole.
Cursing, he spun around and headed for the elevator. He was staying with Eidolon and Tayla, because although he’d prefer a hotel room, Tay had insisted. Besides, staying with them gave all of them an opportunity to catch up and compare notes on the recent happenings on Earth and in Sheoul.
He wondered if Gem knew he was staying with her sister.
Him and his hero complex.
Okay, that was a fair assessment. But his complex wasn’t about accolades or the happy-happy feeling that came from rescuing kittens in trees or parachuting into war zones to save downed soldiers. He didn’t care if anyone knew the good he’d done. He just needed to do it. To make a difference.
Sure, he could make a difference on the streets as a paramedic or a cop. He could re-enlist and make a difference by patching up injured troops. But deep down, he’d always wanted to do things on a grander scale. Which meant saving not a few men, but mankind as a race.
That was a big f**king joke, because he couldn’t save himself, let alone mankind.
He made it to the elevator, punched the Down button, and a moment later the doors slid open. The bastard Gem had been with last night stepped out.
Territorial rage spun up faster than a spring storm, and Kynan moved to block the guy. “Lore, right?”
The male narrowed his dark eyes. “Who are you?”
I’m the man who is going to sever your head from your body, demon.
Kynan reached automatically for the dagger tucked inside his jacket pocket, but fumbled the hilt as Gem’s voice tripped through his head. You gave up the right to be jealous when you dumped me. This wasn’t making love. This was a jealousy fuck.