O, sir, said she, for your honour's sake, and for Christ's sake!--But

he would not hear her, and said--For your own sake, I tell you, Mrs.

Jervis, say not a word more. I have done her no harm. And I won't have

her stay in my house; prating, perverse fool, as she is! But since she

is so apt to fall into fits, or at least pretend to do so, prepare her

to see me to-morrow after dinner, in my mother's closet, and do you be

with her, and you shall hear what passes between us.

And so he went out in a pet, and ordered his chariot and four to be got

ready, and went a visiting somewhere.

Mrs. Jervis then came to me, and I told her all that had happened, and

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said, I was resolved not to stay in the house: And she replying, He

seemed to threaten as much; I said, I am glad of that; then I shall be

easy. So she told me all he had said to her, as above.

Mrs. Jervis is very loath I should go; and yet, poor woman! she begins

to be afraid for herself; but would not have me ruined for the world.

She says to be sure he means no good; but may be, now he sees me so

resolute, he will give over all attempts; and that I shall better know

what to do after tomorrow, when I am to appear before a very bad judge,

I doubt. O how I dread this to-morrow's appearance! But be as assured, my dear

parents, of the honesty of your poor child, as I am of your prayers for

Your dutiful DAUGHTER.

O this frightful to-morrow; how I dread it!

LETTER XVI

MY DEAR PARENTS,

I know you longed to hear from me soon; and I send you as soon as I

could. Well, you may believe how uneasily I passed the time, till his appointed

hour came. Every minute, as it grew nearer, my terrors increased; and

sometimes I had great courage, and sometimes none at all; and I thought

I should faint when it came to the time my master had dined. I could

neither eat nor drink, for my part; and do what I could, my eyes were

swelled with crying. At last he went up to the closet, which was my good lady's

dressing-room; a room I once loved, but then as much hated.

Don't your heart ache for me?--I am sure mine fluttered about like a

new-caught bird in a cage. O Pamela, said I to myself, why art thou so

foolish and fearful? Thou hast done no harm! What, if thou fearest an

unjust judge, when thou art innocent, would'st thou do before a just

one, if thou wert guilty? Have courage, Pamela, thou knowest the worst!

And how easy a choice poverty and honesty is, rather than plenty and

wickedness. So I cheered myself; but yet my poor heart sunk, and my spirits were

quite broken. Everything that stirred, I thought was to call me to my

account. I dreaded it, and yet I wished it to come.




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