Don't, my dear, said he, be concerned at what gives me pleasure. I am

not the nearer my end, for having made this disposition; but I think

the putting off these material points, when so many accidents every day

happen, and life is so precarious, is one of the most inexcusable things

in the world. And there are many important points to be thought of, when

life is drawing to its utmost verge; and the mind may be so agitated

and unfit, that it is a most sad thing to put off, to that time, any of

those concerns, which more especially require a considerate and composed

frame of temper, and perfect health and vigour, to give directions

about. My poor friend, Mr. Carlton, who died in my arms so lately; and

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had a mind disturbed by worldly considerations on one side; a weakness

of body, through the violence of his distemper, on another; and the

concerns of still as much more moment, as the soul is to the body, on

a third; made so great an impression upon me then, that I was the more

impatient to come to this house, where were most of my writings, in

order to make the disposition I have now perfected: And since it is

grievous to my dear girl, I will myself think of such trustees as shall

be most for her benefit. I have only, therefore, to assure you, my dear,

that in this instance, as I will do in any other I can think of, I have

studied to make you quite easy, free, and independent. And because I

shall avoid all occasions, for the future, which may discompose you, I

have but one request to make; which is, that if it please God, for my

sins, to separate me from my dearest Pamela, you will only resolve not

to marry one person; for I would not be such a Herod, as to restrain

you from a change of condition with any other, however reluctantly I may

think of any other person's succeeding me in your esteem.

I could not answer, and thought my heart would have burst: And he

continued, To conclude at once a subject that is so grievous to you, I

will tell you, my Pamela, that this person is Mr. Williams. And now I

will acquaint you with my motive for this request; which is wholly owing

to my niceness, and to no dislike I have for him, or apprehension of any

likelihood that it will be so: but, methinks it would reflect a little

upon my Pamela, if she was to give way to such a conduct, as if she had

married a man for his estate, when she had rather have had another,

had it not been for that; and that now, the world will say, she is at

liberty to pursue her inclination, the parson is the man!--And I cannot

bear even the most distant apprehension, that I had not the preference

with you, of any man living, let me have been what I would, as I

have shewn my dear life, that I have preferred her to all her sex, of

whatever degree. I could not speak, might I have had the world; and he took me in his

arms, and said, I have now spoken all my mind, and expect no answer; and

I see you too much moved to give me one. Only forgive me the mention,

since I have told you my motive; which as much affects your reputation,

as my niceness; and offer not at an answer;--only say, you forgive me:

And I hope I have not one discomposing thing to say to my dearest, for

the rest of my life; which I pray God, for both our sakes, to lengthen

for many happy years.




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