He smiled.
“You’re making resisting you really challenging. You probably know that.”
“It would be easy to tell you not to try. But I want you to be sure and ready. As much as I wanted you at your cousin’s club, I’m glad I stopped. You deserve your first time to be special.”
London studied him for long moments, her blue eyes torn. She finally dropped her gaze to eat another bite of pizza. “I want to believe you.”
He’d played this game before. He told lies, and the women lied to themselves about believing his sincerity. It made them feel better about fucking him, and they could cast him in the role of asshole after the sheets had gone cold. But this wasn’t a game to London. She really was struggling to believe that she had something different or more special than the thousands of women he’d taken to bed. Xander wished to hell he could put it into words. Or show her. Yeah, he’d like that most of all.
“I don’t have the perfect words to make you understand how sincere I am. But I’m willing to talk as much as you need. I’m willing to wait as long as it takes. Everything else aside, we’ll work together to keep the business afloat and fix Javier. Even if nothing ever happens between us, I’ll be forever grateful that you made me question everything in my life.”
London pressed her lips together, her body tense, leaning in his direction. Suddenly, she launched herself at him and closed her mouth over his. Lips so soft, molding perfectly to his. Xander seized the opportunity and dragged her against his body, his cock harder than ever. She whimpered and melted into him, surging into his mouth desperately. London thrilled him in every way. He absorbed her against him, exploring and learning her taste. She might be new in his life . . . but she felt so familiar. Almost like coming home.
His married buddies all talked like that, describing their wives as their anchor, their something to come back to, their someone to live for. Instead of scaring the crap out of him, it revved his blood up even more, and he pulled her closer, wondering if he could get that dress off in thirty seconds or less and claim her.
The phone’s shrill ring clanged between them. Xander was all for ignoring it, but London started at the sound and began to pull back.
“I’m so embarrassed.” She turned away.
Xander grabbed her elbow with one hand and the phone with the other. “Don’t be. Let me handle this, then we’ll talk more.”
At her nod, he answered the call. It was Maynard calling back to discuss exactly how he’d had his son-in-law doctor the information on the database and how he personally planned to track the IP addresses associated with the log-ins. Forty long minutes later, he hung up and looked around to find London with her own laptop, her long, pale hair in a sleek little ponytail, wearing a pair of shapeless gray sweatpants with a breast-hugging pink tank top. That cinched it; his dick was totally in love.
“You’re staring.” That obviously made her nervous.
“I’ll tell you what I’m thinking.” He grinned.
“I can guess, and it won’t help me get the draft of this annual report finished anytime soon.”
“Last year’s was terrible.”
“Javier said as much. Why didn’t he let you help him if he’d just learned of his wife’s death?”
A simple question. The logical one. “I don’t know, really. We both fell into our roles long ago. Honestly, I think I was mostly content with mine. Or I told myself I was. I guess . . . I finally realized that you can only have so many parties and so many flings before it’s all just pointless. I’m thirty years old. I have nothing to show for it. In fact, I’m probably lucky that I don’t have any children or diseases.”
Her expression held more pity than he wanted.
Xander scowled. “I’m not looking for sympathy. Being a poor little rich boy, I know. Boohoo.”
“So you had all the money you could want, all the material things it could buy.” She shrugged. “Who loved you?”
Painful fucking question. The answer blazed across his brain like a flash fire, sizzling him all the way down to his soul. “I’m fine.”
“I don’t think you are. I know Javier isn’t. It makes me want to grab you both and hug you so tight.”
Anger rolled through him. Xander hated this defensive feeling, but there was no fighting it. “I don’t need your pity.”
She reared back in her seat and shook her head at him. “That’s not it at all. I don’t feel sorry for you. I just want you both to see how much joy loving and being loved can bring. My parents loved me unconditionally. We didn’t have a lot, but they would have done anything for me. I had great friends. I even had a cat who followed me everywhere, a male Siamese named Merlin. I didn’t need designer clothes or a bunch of diamonds to feel rich. I really wish you guys could know that feeling of belonging somewhere because you’re treasured by the people around you.”
God, she just kept digging that knife deeper. He’d never had that, and the longer she talked about the warmth and sense of belonging that love provided, the more he wanted it. Desperately. Like an addict craving a fix.
And suddenly everything snapped into place. He was falling in love with this girl he’d known for a handful of days, whom he hadn’t slept with, one who was both innocent and wise, because she centered him. He looked at her and suddenly understood exactly what he’d been missing. What he could no longer live without.
Xander stared, wondering how the hell his whole world had tilted on its axis in the span of seventy-two hours. Fuck it. That didn’t matter. What did matter was figuring out how to get closer to her, make her want him, depend on him, never want to leave him. She was tenderness and sunshine, and for the first time in his life, he was dying to feel it fill him up.
“I’d like that, too,” he whispered.
Chapter Ten
SOMEWHERE around three a.m., Xander told London to close up the laptop and go to bed. He would have liked to slide in beside her and have her warm curves pressed against him, but she looked exhausted. After helping her as she worked so diligently and intuitively on the annual report for the last six hours so the board and employees would have a perfect grasp of where the company stood—and proving just how damn smart she was—London deserved her rest. Sure, he’d answered questions, and they had debated exactly what to say and how to say it, but she’d carefully crafted just the right words and created just the right visuals. He was damn impressed with her and he’d said so.
Xander stayed up another hour scanning the results and the few numbers she’d received from the public affairs department. Things were dismal. Orders were down more than twenty percent for most of their existing military hardware. Their competitors had made a lot of strides in the last year, while Javier had been drowning his grief and guilt. Thankfully, sales for their advanced tactical laser technology had been holding steady and keeping them afloat. But after tonight, a few things had become crystal clear, and he’d be talking to his older brother soon.
With a turn in at four in the morning, he wasn’t thrilled to hear someone pounding on the door just before seven, then ringing the doorbell in quick succession when no one answered immediately. What the fuck?