Narsimma: Where did you pick up all the psychological threads from?
Renuka: Why, from the ruins of my life. And to continue, she was too shrewd not to foresee that as her own charms wane, her influence on Papi Reddy would wean. Well, she knew that would take her back to square one of the dalit life, or worse. And to avert that from ever happening, she had this idea of making me his keep as Saailu’s wife. In her scheme of things, the prospect of our marriage was but a red herring to her. Oh, how she spoiled her brother’s and daughter’s life to serve her own ends. That’s why I felt she deserved to die, and not entitled to any mercy.
Narsimma: Now I see the canvas fate had chosen to paint the picture of our misery. But how do you explain her hatred to my mother?
Renuka: She came to hate aththa as she herself suffered in comparison. After all, aththa had a spotless image, and my mom knew how low her own moral stock was. In a way, she wanted to drag me into Papi Reddy’s bed out of spite for your mother. She knew your mother loved me, and so she wanted to hurt her through my fall. And sadly she succeeded.
Narsimma: Oh, how miserable it was craving for you in the bunduldoddi. The very thought of your plight deepened my sense of humiliation even more. Oh, how I cursed my life for its powerlessness to protect you.
Renuka: When we were caught on the verge of freedom, I felt as if the ground beneath was giving way. But now, armed with your power, I feel secure in your arms. What is more, I feel fulfilled for I’ve left behind the pathos of my past.
Narsimma: Renu, I didn’t dare dream of our union, and holding you, still I’m unable to believe it.
Renuka: Hi baava.[Pinches him] I always wanted to be your wife before I died. I don’t know why but I had a premonition that we would come together, that is in spite of that fiasco of an escape. That’s why, instead of dying, I married Saailu hoping to be your wife someday. But when he pushed me into that Papi Reddy’s arms, I wanted to live for a different reason.
Narsimma: What’s that Renu?
Renuka: Instead of dying a despaired dalit, I was obsessed with the idea of dying only at the threshold of dalitempowerment. In a way, that has become the fulcrum of my life and the purpose of my suffering. Now that I’ve a sense of power even, I shall use it against anyone who tends to spoil my vision.