Grant produced a key and opened the door. It swung wide, and he motioned for me to step inside. I walked in slowly. The first thing I noticed was that it was completely empty. The second thing I noticed was that it was breathtaking. The vaulted ceilings and attention to detail were fantastic.
“Come with me,” he said, taking my hand as we headed directly for the stairs. Upstairs, we walked through a large open space that could be a sitting area or even a game room. Then Grant opened one of the doors, and we walked into a large bedroom with pale pink walls and a chandelier. From the windows, you could see the Gulf across the street and the backyard, which was not only a nice big space but also fenced in.
I turned around to see Grant running a hand through his hair nervously and watching me.
“It’s a great room. But I don’t understand,” I said, needing some clarification, even though my excitement was quickly growing.
He glanced down at my stomach, then back up at me. “Would you want this to be her room?”
Her room.
Meaning we would live here.
The waterworks were threatening to take over, and I blinked back tears and sucked in a breath to keep from sobbing on him.
“Is it for sale?” I asked, realizing that I hadn’t seen a for-sale sign in the yard.
“No,” he replied, and my heart sank. “Not anymore.” He held up the keys he’d used to get in. “It’s already ours.”
It took me all of two seconds to fling myself into his arms before I burst into tears.
Grant
We didn’t go back to the apartment that night. I called Rush to help me move the bed over, and we stayed the night in our new house. Harlow was too giddy to leave, and I was too damn happy watching her. I had been afraid she would be overwhelmed or maybe not like it.
But I had worried for nothing.
I felt like the king of the f**king world.
The next week, I had movers come to the condo and help us pack up, because I didn’t want Harlow bending and lifting anything. We slowly moved our things in and got settled into our new home. And that was what it was. I had a home now. A real one. For the first time in my life, I had a real home. A real family. My family.
The weekly doctor visits kept me hopeful, and the fear slowly started to fade. Harlow believed, without a doubt, that she would make it through this, and she was already thinking about the swing set we would pick out for Lila Kate.
We had spent an entire week sitting up searching for baby names on the Internet before we agreed on one. Even if I hadn’t liked the name Lila Kate at the time, I would have learned to love it after hearing Harlow say it when she spoke to her now-round stomach. It still wasn’t very big, but you could definitely tell she was pregnant.
I had expected her to worry over looking fat or to be self-conscious, but she never did, and she never was. She would stand in front of the mirror and look at herself, then smile up at me like this was the best thing in the world. She was going to be a wonderful mother.
Then, one day, while I was putting together the baby’s crib in the master bedroom, I heard Harlow shout from the bathroom, “Grant! Hurry!” A million horrible thoughts ran through my mind, so I was expecting the worst when I found a smiling Harlow soaking in a bubble bath. I took a deep breath and told myself to calm the f**k down. I couldn’t believe something bad was about to happen every time she called for me.
“She’s moving,” Harlow whispered, as if talking might cause her to stop. “Come feel.”
I had been waiting for this. Harlow had felt her daily, but so far, I hadn’t been there at the right time. I knelt down beside the tub, and she took my hand and placed it on her stomach.
“Here, press down just a bit so she’ll push back,” she said softly.
I did as I was told, and sure enough, a gentle little kick was my response. The grin that broke across my face was so damn big it hurt my cheeks. I had a little fighter in there. She was strong like her momma.
“Isn’t that amazing?” Harlow asked as I held my hand against her stomach and felt Lila Kate moving around. I had obviously annoyed her, so now she was pretty active.
“She’s spunky,” I said, and Harlow threw back her head and laughed. Lila Kate kicked again and pushed against me. It was like she wanted to join us. Maybe she heard Harlow laughing and wanted out so she could be a part of this moment.
“Talk to her,” Harlow said.
I had seen Harlow talking to her stomach a lot lately. But I wasn’t sure I could do that. I had seen the ultrasound, and I could feel her. She was real to me, but talking to her seemed difficult. I was putting myself out there to love yet another person I could lose.
“I don’t know what to say,” I told her, hoping that she would drop it.
“Just tell her hello and that you love her. It doesn’t have to be profound. She recognizes your voice now. I’m sure of it. She’ll know you’re talking to her.”
Harlow had a lot of faith in this tiny little baby inside her. I agreed that she reacted to Harlow’s laughter, but I wasn’t sure she actually recognized my voice. It was probably no more than a muffled sound to her right now.
“Please, say something,” Harlow pleaded, and I knew I wasn’t going to get out of this. She wanted me to talk to our daughter, and I couldn’t tell her no.
I cleared my throat and bent closer to Harlow’s stomach. “How you doing in there?” I asked, then glanced up to see a very amused Harlow. “I imagine you’re ready to get out and stretch. Gotta be cramped in that little space you got.” Harlow was still watching me expectantly.