She could feel how he held his breath, as if he was expecting bad news.
“I’m not an escort anymore. I quit two months ago. I quit the day of Sabrina and Daniel’s wedding.”
It was out. She felt relief at finally having told him the truth.
His chin dropped. “But . . . ” He shook his head, before trying again. “Why didn’t you tell me back then? Why didn’t you say anything? You let me call you a . . . ” It seemed he couldn’t even say the word now. “Holly, why didn’t you tell me the truth? It would have changed everything.”
Holly shook her head. “It would have changed nothing. Even if you had believed me then—which you wouldn’t have—you would have thought I was making excuses.”
“No, Holly—”
She pressed her hand against his heart. “Please, hear me out.”
Paul nodded silently.
“The message you saw on my phone came from Misty, my boss. It was her reaction to my telling her that I was quitting. I sent her my resignation a few minutes before I propositioned you at the reception—because that’s when I realized that I didn’t want to sleep with men for money anymore. I wanted to sleep with a man because I was attracted to him. Because I desired him.” Holly ran her eyes over him. “The night we had together was wonderful. For the first time in a long time, I was free to feel.”
Paul ran a hand through his dark hair. “Oh God, Holly, I’m so sorry. I destroyed all that by the way I treated you.”
“It’s not your fault. Most men would have reacted that way.”
“If I’d known . . . ”
“Had you known, you would have reacted the same way, because my past is still the same. The thing that has changed is my future. But people don’t judge you by your future, they judge you by your past. And my past I can’t change, as much as I want to.”
Paul shook his head and cupped her shoulders with both hands. “But if you quit, then why didn’t you at least tell me when I proposed this . . . this arrangement? Why didn’t you just tell me to go to hell? How could you allow me to drag you back into it?”
“Remember the matchmaking business I was telling you about?”
His forehead furrowed. “The one from your cover story?”
Holly nodded. “The day you called me, the bank had just refused my loan.” The reason why wasn’t exactly something she needed to disclose to Paul. “I was desperate. I wanted to buy the business. I needed the money.”
Realization spread in Paul’s eyes. “Let me guess—the purchase price is two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.”
She didn’t even have to nod, but only blinked, then dropped her gaze. “It’s buying me a future. So I figured I’d sell myself one last time.”
Paul released her shoulders and looked past her, out to the ocean, as if he wanted to avoid her. “And the reason you slept with me last night?”
“What are you saying?” Didn’t he know why she’d come to his bed?
He whipped his gaze back to her. “I’m asking you whether you slept with me last night because I’m paying for your time.”
“You know as well as I do that you didn’t pay for that. We agreed that what you paid for was my playing your girlfriend. It didn’t include sex.”
“Damn it, Holly! I asked you a straightforward question: Why did you sleep with me last night?”
She fisted her hands at her hips. “Are you dim-witted or something? Don’t you get it? I slept with you because I’m attracted to you! Idiot!”
A grin spread over his face. “You know that you’re totally sexy when you’re angry.”
Holly huffed, turned back in the direction from which they’d come, and started walking. Paul grabbed her hand and kept pace with her.
“I should never have told you anything.”
“You mean the fact that you quit the escort business or the fact that you find me hot?”
She whipped her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. “You’re twisting my words. I didn’t say you’re hot.”
“That’s what I heard. Besides, the way you rode me last night kind of hinted at that.”
Annoyance welled up in her. “Then why did you have to ask me why I slept with you?”
“Because I hate guesswork. I wanted to hear it from your own mouth.”
“Well, now you’ve heard it!” For some reason she felt exposed. Well, not for some unknown reason. She knew very well why she was pissed. While she had exposed her feelings by admitting that she was attracted to him, he had said nothing in return.