I laughed, but it was a bitter sound. He was jealous. He was jealous ... when he was the mated one. To an outsider. And he was the one who was jealous? My laugh cracked, turning jagged.
Bobby's brow furrowed, and his fingers alighted on my cheek. The touch was tentative, ready to fall away at the slightest provocation.
As a child, whenever I wasn't occupied with my various tutors, Bobby and I spent all our time together. We had learned every nook of the clan's land and made our own secret paths through it. We made trips to a non-shifter village, wandered the outskirts of the clanless lands, and journeyed to the Elders’ mountain. Too many lazy days to count, we slept off a good hunt curled together in a furry pile. It wasn't until my last few years in Firth that things changed. I couldn't remember the first time his touch had filled my stomach with butterflies, or when the affection of children had changed to something giddy and new, but I remembered the fight I'd had with my father after he forbade Bobby to take me as mate. Lynn had joined our clan shortly after that. Like a good little clan member, Bobby did as he was told. He mated with Lynn.
I meant to tug away from Bobby's touch, but the warmth from his fingers seeped into my skin, and I so desperately wanted to be warm. As I nuzzled his palm, the roof of my mouth tingled, then burned. The pressure built as my fangs extended, and I froze, fighting my new instincts.
Encouraged by my initial response, Bobby slid closer. His other hand moved to frame my face, destroying my concentration. I gritted my teeth together, my fully extended fangs pressing against my lower lip. I could feel his heart beating through his skin, hear it pounding between us. My stomach twisted, burning cold and empty. Without intending to, I turned in to his cradling hands, my lips sliding over the thin skin of his wrist.
My feet left the ground, and all that delicious heat vanished. I opened my eyes in time to see Bobby's stunned face before the side of a building obscured it. The darkness of an alley closed around me before I realized I was being dragged backwards.
No! I needed Bobby's warmth.
I twisted, struggling against the arms encircling my waist. They released me only long enough for Nathanial to step around me, cornering me against a brick wall. He used his entire body to pin me to the building's façade. His heat pressed into me, but my instincts knew he wasn't food. He was competition.
"Kita,” he whispered.
I hissed at him through my fangs, my fingernails tearing at his hands where they pinned my wrists over my head. He didn't blink, his cold eyes holding mine. Reflected in those icy grey depths was a crazed creature with glowing yellow eyes and fangs. Its gaunt features were desperate, dangerous. Slowly I recognized my sharp chin line, the arch of my eyebrows, my nose. The reflected yellow eyes dimmed, and I sagged in Nathanial's arms, staring at the reflection of a creature who could consider feeding from her oldest friend. My chest stung, my breath catching in my throat. A sob choked me.
Nathanial released my arms, his body holding me to the wall. He examined the gouges in his hand, jagged pink lines left my by nails. The wounds weren't bleeding, but they smelled fleshy, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Nathanial's thumb brushed my lower lip, then he lifted his wrist to my lips like an offering.
"If you will not feed from humans, then take from me,” he whispered.
"Get away from me!” I shoved him, hard, and he fell back a step. I collapsed to my knees, hugging myself in the snow.
Bobby rounded the corner of the building, Gil only steps behind him, her face set in a disapproving scowl. Time wasn't moving right; Bobby's clipped gait was too slow. Or perhaps it was only slow compared to how fast my pulse was racing.
I threw up my arms, barricading my face from Bobby's gaze, but his eyes weren't angry. They should have been.
Nathanial pulled me to my feet, his grip tight around my elbow. Holding me up? Holding me back? I didn't fight against the pinching grip, but stared at my feet. My hair hung over my face like a curtain of tangles.
"You have to feed,” Nathanial whispered.
I shook my head.
"Kitten, maybe you should do as he says.” Bobby stepped closer, and I shuffled back. He paused and his next words were a whisper. “You look like you've been sick for a long time. Your skin is as thin as paper and your eyes are sunken in."
My stomach twisted, from guilt this time, not hunger. Bobby was supposed to be on my side. Or at least the side that didn't consider people food. He crept closer again. Nathanial released my arm and stepped in front of me. Bobby glared, moving into Nathanial's space like he wasn't there, or like the vampire was a wall he had to talk through.
"There's a park not far from here. Might have deer. It will have rabbits, if nothing else. We can go hunting. Just you and me. I'll shift to mid-form so we can work for the same-size prey, and you can make the kill, take the blood."
I straightened, pulling my hair out of my face. The park was an idea I hadn't considered.
Nathanial shook his head. “It would keep you alive, but not sustain you."
Alive sounded good enough. I crossed my arms over my chest. “Which would be worse, deer blood or no blood?"
Gil cleared her throat. She'd kept what she probably considered a safe distance several feet from us, but now she stepped closer, pulling out one of her scrolls. “The rogue's fourth victim, the second killed in Haven, was found in Sydney Park. If we go there we can check off one of our locations while Kita catches a snack."
Nathanial sighed, shaking his head again. “There are no deer in that park, but we might find rabbits, yes."
I smiled. I was an excellent rabbit hunter.
In silence, we rejoined humanity on the streets. The sidewalks were not crowded, but they were far from empty. At first I watched the people we passed, but pressure built to the point of pain in my mouth, worsening every time I looked at someone. I silently repeated a mantra about how ‘People are not food,’ over and over in my mind. My chant must have become less silent at some point, because Bobby, Nathanial, and Gil all stopped and stared at me.
I shoved my hands deep in my coat pockets and looked away. By necessity, I stuck close to Nathanial—he, at least, didn't register as food. I was okay around Bobby now that we weren't touching, but glancing at humans brought predatory instincts to the front of my mind. I noted vital striking zones. Even with the flap of Gil's plastic boots filling my ears, I could hear the humans around us. What if a human noticed the ravenous vampire with fangs extended?
I had a ‘duh’ moment as I remembered that the reason my hands barely fit in my coat pockets was because I'd stuffed my scarf and gloves in them. Pulling out the scarf, I wrapped it around my face. It did nothing to stop my shivering, but at least if my fangs slid out, they weren't visible.
We turned another corner onto a street lined with more shops and more shoppers.
"Shouldn't we be taking the subway?” I asked, pointing to an entrance up a side street.
Nathanial shook his head.
"I think I need to get to the park ASAP."
"It is still early enough for commuter traffic.” Nathanial gestured to the other people on the sidewalk. “Do you think you could handle the press of people that will cram into a train at this hour?"
I glanced at a rotund business man as he bustled past. An easy catch. I cringed, realizing I'd taken a step to follow him. I glued my gaze back on my shoes and shook my head. Definitely no crowded subway rides.
I vaguely noticed the brightly lit storefronts fading into darker buildings, many with thick iron grating and “Closed” signs, others with boarded-up facades. Those fell away behind us as the buildings grew taller. No shops or signs now, but rugged stoops leading into worn apartment buildings. Here and there the sidewalks hadn't been cleared, and we trudged through snowy slush.
The route Nathanial led us down followed no particular street but cut through alleys and behind buildings. I stepped around a man sleeping in a box by a dumpster. The dumpster smelled better than him, so at least I wasn't tempted to bite him. The tall buildings stopped abruptly, ending in an empty gravel parking pit and scattered vacant lots. Passed that, rows of squat duplexes nestled closely together. Several roofs sagged under the weight of the snow, the dark windows looking over small yards broken by the scars of skeletal fences. Beer cans and piles of black garbage bags were the only indication of life at several of the residences.
As we hurried up the street, it became obvious some of the homes had been painted recently—or at least in the last decade. A jungle gym stood in one yard, the black of the tire swing peeking out from under the snow. The cars lining the streets gradually became shinier, their boxy frames giving way to the sleeker lines of newer models.
Nathanial's choice of streets had few people on them, probably intentionally, but I kept my gaze down, just in case. The purple of Gil's rain boots leeched away, leaving the boots a murky grey. Frowning, I rubbed my eyes and glanced around the street. Everything was some shade of grey. Nathanial met my eyes, and I glanced back down. I didn't bother commenting on my sudden color-blindness. He'd only tell me it was another sign of starvation. Stupid vampire.
After a couple turns, the duplexes vanished in favor of old brownstone townhouses, with tall, wrought iron gates marking modest front yards. Over the top of the townhouses, I could make out the rough outline of trees. We were almost there.
Bobby stopped short at a corner only blocks from the park. He tilted his head, his nostrils flaring, and his gaze darted along the street and over dark shadows between buildings. “We don't need this right now."
I tipped my head back, but all I could smell were the warm bodies of my companions. Neither my nose nor eyes could be trusted at the moment. My fangs lengthened and I cursed under my breath. The damn things had minds of their own. Of course, I had a pretty good idea what Bobby was talking about.
"Hunter?” I asked, and Bobby nodded.
I should have realized the park would be monitored by hunters. My former second shape being the rare exception, most shifters would be noticed if they walked the streets on four legs. The park would be one of the few places in the city a shifter could run as his beast without drawing too much human attention.