“As long as it’s what you want, I guess I’m OK with it. If he hurts you, I’ll break his legs.”
She squished herself closer to me and threw her arms around my neck.
“Don’t worry, if he hurts me, I’ll break his legs.” She smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
She was going to be the death of me.
“Listen, Jenny, I need to sit down and talk to you and Dad tonight about something serious. OK?”
“You’re going to ask Lilly to marry you?” she asked hopefully.
“That would be kind of fast, don’t you think?” I laughed. “No, I’m not asking her to marry me, but it’s something important, so don’t be at Josh’s house all night, OK? And no making out and shit, video games only or I’ll kill him, got it?”
She shook her head. “Yeah, yeah, yeah… I’ll be here and if he lays a finger on me, I’ll break it for you.”
I laughed as she walked out the front door and left me alone with my thoughts and fears. Today was a game changer all around and I was starting to worry about whether or not I’d win the game.
Thirty
Big News
I drove the thirty minutes to Devin’s house with a huge smile on my face. I still couldn’t believe how much my life had changed in the last couple of months. I used to be so lonely and now I had a wonderful guy in my life that I loved with all my heart and a baby on the way.
I’d had the entire day to think on it, and I’d decided that I was ecstatic about the baby. I’d already started thinking about the baby names I liked and all the fun stuff I was going to buy. I thought about houses and buying a new “mom” car.
Even with all the good stuff running through my head, I was still worried about whether or not Devin would want to be a part of all of it. I hoped more than anything that he would.
Jenny would be the perfect aunt and Dad would love our little girl like there was no tomorrow, but what about Devin? What would he say when I told him the wonderful news?
The subject of kids had never been brought up, mainly because our relationship was just getting started, but also because the subject of kids hurt so badly. It had never been a possibility for me and it killed me to think about how lonely my future looked without little ones running around.
I sat under a red light praying for it to turn green and pulled out the ultrasound picture that the doctor had printed out for me. I couldn’t wait to show it to him and get his reaction.
It felt like the trip to Devin’s house had gotten longer. By the time I arrived in his driveway, I was almost jumping out of my car and running to his front door. When I knocked, a swirl of anxiety hit me. What if he didn’t want the baby? What if he wanted a family, just not with me?
What was I thinking? He was Devin Michaels, the sweetest, most unselfish, loving man I knew. He was the man that I had fallen madly in love with, and the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I shook all the bad thoughts out of my head and knocked once more.
He pulled the door open, smiled, and then held open the screened door, inviting me in without saying so. The ultrasound picture was burning a hole in my hand. It took everything in me to not open it and throw it in his face with a big smile.
“Hey, baby.” I leaned up and gave him a pop kiss.
He kissed me back then wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close for a long time. He was acting awfully strange and for a brief second I panicked and thought that maybe he somehow knew about the baby already. That was impossible, of course, since other than the doctor, I was the only one who knew.
He let go, stepped back, and just stared at me while sitting on the couch. I sat beside him and held his hands in mine. He didn’t even notice the picture in my hand. He looked as nervous as I felt and again I wondered why.
“I thought about you so much today.” I brought his hand to my mouth and kissed his palm softly.
“I thought about you, too. I love you, Lilly,” he said, flatly.
“I love you too, Devin. More than you could ever know.”
This time it was his turn to kiss my hand. He pressed my cool palm against his check and looked back at me. He didn’t even notice the folded picture in my hand. Something was definitely wrong.
“I need to tell you something.”
Alarms went off in my head.
“I need to tell you something, too. That’s why I came to you, but you go first. What I have to say can wait a few more minutes. Are you OK? What’s wrong, baby?” I slid closer to him and wrapped my arms around him.
“I don’t know where to start,” he said. “I guess I should start with how wonderful I think you are. You’re the sweetest woman I’ve ever met and I thank God every day that I met you.”