“How’d you do?” Griffin asks.
I can’t tell if he’s teasing or asking, so I answer, “I won the Western Regional Championship twice.”
“What about the third year?”
This time I can tell he’s making fun—only to impress his obnoxious friends, of course. Why else would he be such a jerk when he was so nice to me this morning?
Well, while wanting him to smile at me someday might include a laugh or two, I don’t actually want him laughing at me. It’s a fine line. “Freshman year I came in second.”
He looks like he’s about to say something, but Coach Leonidas interrupts. “Wonderful,” he says. “I’m sure you’ll bring a lot to the team.”
“Thanks, Coach Leo . . .”
Okay, so Coach Z said his name, but I can’t remember how to pronounce it. Everything in this country is a tongue twister.
“Call me Lenny,” he says. “Everyone does.”
“Thanks,” I say again, “Coach Lenny.”
“Now that the pleasantries are out of the way,” he says, “let’s get to the running.”
Everyone cheers—still full of the excitement of the first day of the season and not yet worn down by miles and miles and miles of running.
I cheer, too. After all the embarrassment and inferiority I’ve faced today, I’m ready to show them all what I’m really good at.
“We’re going to start out with a nice, easy warm-up before we run the qualifying race.” Coach Lenny looks happy, like he loves running and thinks it’s great luck he gets to make a living doing it. “Follow me.”
He turns and heads out of the tunnel, into the afternoon sun.
Now Coach Lenny looks like an athlete. There’s no trace of belly, beer or otherwise, on his wiry frame—he’s not hiding one, either, because his white tank and blue running shorts leave little to the imagination. He sets the pace—the twenty kids who’d assembled in the tunnel fall in behind him—a gentle run that’s not about to get anyone sweaty. I focus on the footfalls of his sneakers, counting out the rhythm in my mind and letting it sink into me.
The steady rhythm matches my heart rate.
I am vaguely aware that our pace is increasing. As we build up speed I stay focused on Coach Lenny’s sneakers, never letting him get more than a few feet ahead of me.
I get lost in the run.
Barely noticing my surroundings, I’m surprised when he looks over his shoulder and announces, “We’ll make two more laps around the stadium before heading to the course.”
I’m in the middle of the lead group, content for the warm-up to hold back my pace. Don’t want to wear myself out before the qualifier.
I love everything about running: the steady rhythm of my sneakers hitting the ground, the adrenaline and endorphins pulsing through my bloodstream, the cotton of my PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY tee rubbing against my skin with every step. If I could do it without winding up in a tree or a ditch, I’d close my eyes and just . . . feel.
Running is when I know I’m alive.
Everything else is downtime.
Step, step, step, breathe. Step, step, step, breathe.
That pattern is my comfort.
Nothing else that happened today matters anymore. The craziness of my life melts away. In my mind, I’m back home—running on the beach with Dad shouting encouragements and urging me to push myself. No gods, evil stepsisters, or mind-muddling boys allowed. All I know is I’m running and I feel perfect.
“Hold up here,” Coach Lenny announces, stopping us at a clearing with a smooth dirt path that leads into a pine forest. “Everyone walk it out, bring your heart rate back down. Get a drink of water.”
He points to a drinking fountain near the head of the trail. I wait until everyone else has taken a drink before getting my own.
Someone taps on my shoulder, just as I suck down a big gulp.
Coughing, I turn to find Troy standing behind me, a big grin on his face.
“Hey,” I say, wiping at the water dripping down my chin. “What are you doing here?”
“Thought you might need a good luck charm.”
He holds out his hand, keeping it fisted so I can’t see whatever’s inside. I hold out mine beneath his. With a twist of his wrist, he opens his fist and I feel something fall onto my palm.
“A feather?”
“Yeah,” he says, blushing a little. Pink looks good on his cheeks. “To help you fly faster.”
“Thanks,” I say, blushing myself. “That’s sweet.”
“You running today, Travatas?” Coach Lenny asks.
“No way.” Troy backs away. “Just saying hello.”
“If you stay, you run.”
Troy turns to me, looking a little panicked. “I’ve gotta run. I mean go.” He glances nervously at Coach Lenny. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He’s gone before I can say, “See ya.”
I don’t have time to laugh at his hasty escape, Coach Lenny blows his whistle and calls us all to the starting line.
“I’m going to lead the course,” he says. “And I’ll be waiting back here when you finish the circuit. Follow the path marked with white flags.”
Holding up his stopwatch, he turns to the course, blows his whistle, and starts the race. My heart rate kicks up at the shrill whistle, knowing this is the moment I have to prove myself.
Monitoring my pace, I stay in the middle of the pack. I’ve always been a strong finisher and it’s better if I conserve some energy for the last kilometer than burn it all off at the start. A couple kids bolted out of the gate and I know they will be running out of steam halfway through.