“Tighe.” He felt Delaney’s strong arms go around his waist and her damp head press against his chest. “There was nothing else you could have done. Nothing. She knew you loved her,” she added softly.
His arms went around her and held fast. “Did she? I never went back. A newly marked Feral starts to feel a pull, a need for radiance that will eventually lead him to Feral House, but it took me nearly a year and a half to find it, up in the Highlands of Scotland. Not long after I arrived, Lyon moved us to Ireland because of all the problems with the Mage. I immersed myself in my new life, shutting out the pain of the old. We were engaged in constant battle with the Mage, and after a time, we moved to Spain, and finally across the ocean to come here.
“The first time I considered trying to go back, we were discussing leaving for the New World. I needed to see Amalie again. Just one more time. It seems ridiculous, maybe, but I still thought of her as five. In my mind, she’d stayed five all those years. When you never age, when no one around you ever ages, you tend to forget that others do. And it’s all too easy to lose track of time. I finally stopped and did the math and realized nearly a hundred and twenty years had passed. My little Amalie was long gone. I don’t know if she lived another year after I left her, or another hundred. When I pulled that child from the fire, all I could think, all I could wonder was how many times my own daughter had needed me that I wasn’t there to protect her.”
“I’m sorry, Tighe.” Delaney held him, stroking his back, until the shudders left him, and the memories uncurled from his heart.
“It was a long time ago,” he said, finally feeling like he could breathe again.
Delaney straightened and met his gaze. “I’m sorry for you, but I’m sorry for them, too. Poor Gretchen. She’d probably never heard of Therians, let alone Feral Warriors. All she knew was stories of demons and devils and bad things. Your changing like that would have scared the crap out of anyone.”
She ran gentle fingers through his hair, holding him with her gaze. “Don’t blame her, Tighe. It wasn’t her fault.” Leaning forward, she laid a feather-light kiss upon the corner of his mouth. “But it wasn’t your fault either.”
He sighed. “I tried to forget. I had to forget. But not a day goes by that my traitorous eyes don’t remind me what I am.”
A soft hand stroked his cheek. “I love what you are.”
“I saw your eyes, D. When I went feral.”
“Well, yeah. Under the circumstances, I had reason to be afraid. But, for heaven’s sake, Tighe, it’s your own fault you scare us humans. You guys are so damned secretive, no one knows you even exist. So of course we’re shocked when you suddenly do something no human can do. But now that I know, I’m not afraid. Unless you go feral again. Then all bets are off.”
He marveled at her courage. Even then, even when he’d been lost in that chaos, she’d pulled him out. She’d faced the worst he had to give and not run.
“Turn into a tiger for me, Tighe.”
He stared at her. “Now?”
“Right now. I want to see you shift when I can pay attention. When I can touch you.” Her expression changed, turning guarded. “Are you dangerous when you shift? When you’re a tiger? I mean, to me?”
“No. It’s still me in either form. Even in the feral form, I’d never hurt you if I weren’t handicapped by half a soul.”
“Then do it, Tighe. Shift for me. Please?”
“Delaney…” He shook his head. “You don’t want this. Like you said, you’re not used to this.”
“Ah, but what I said was, I didn’t understand it the first time. You looked damned dangerous and, as it turned out, you were. It’s different now. I understand what you’re doing. And I want to see it happen when I can really watch. I’ve never touched a tiger.”
“If you get scared, there’s no telling what will happen.”
“Then don’t do anything without warning me. No pretending to bite my head off or anything.”
This was not a good idea. What if Delaney didn’t handle his shift as well as she thought she would? If she got scared, he could lose it again. He could kill her this time.
Even if he didn’t lose it, could she really accept an animal as her mate?
But in her eyes he saw such certainty. Such strength. And she wanted to see him shift. She wanted to. Wasn’t that all he’d wanted from Gretchen? To be given a chance to explain?
He could give Delaney that. What she wanted. What they both wanted.
All he had to do was trust her to handle it.
Deep in his heart, he did.
Delaney’s pulse raced with excitement as Tighe rose to his feet and led her into the gym.
“Stay here.” Tighe backed into the middle of the room, giving himself room, and her space.
Then, as she watched, the man she loved disappeared in a breath-catching shimmer of colored lights. A second later a huge, gorgeous tiger stood in the place where he’d been. The very tiger she’d seen for such a brief moment before.
Delaney’s heart pounded. Staring at the beautiful, deadly creature, adrenaline shot through her system, instincts bred over eons of human evolution warning her to run.
But she didn’t. Because the dangerous animal wouldn’t hurt her.
A tiny smile played around her mouth as her hand went to her chest. “My heart’s racing, Tighe. But it’s not from fear. Not much, anyway. This is so beyond incredible. Can you hear me?”
Of course. His voice sounded in her head. Do you think tigers can’t hear?
Her eyes went wide. “Did you really just say that?”
D…
“Nod.”
He bobbed his head. I feel just like one of those damned dolls sitting in the back of a car window.
“You didn’t tell me you could talk in my head.”
Telepathic communication is possible between shifted Ferals and whomever they choose. Very convenient when we’re on the hunt.
“I’ll bet.” She took a step toward him, her pulse leaping. “You don’t mind if I touch you, do you?”
There’s nothing I’d enjoy more.
But she hesitated, her cavewoman instincts screeching that he’d tear her limb from limb. She took another step, caught her breath on a laugh, then walked slowly, cautiously to the amazing creature. But as she reached for him, as her fingers slid into his fur, a low growl rumbled from his throat.
Delaney snatched back her hand. “You said you didn’t mind.”
Sorry. I guess…I expected you to be a little more afraid. It’s happened before.
To Tighe’s surprise, she made a sound of disgust and, with no hesitation, wrapped her arms around his tiger’s thick neck. “Gretchen would have accepted you, you know.” She rubbed her cheek against his ruff. “If the situation had been different. If you’d been alone and able to discover your changes together.”
Her words slid into him like warm syrup, filling the holes inside him, erasing the cold.
“I imagine the whole thing scared you nearly as much as it did her.”
Yes. It probably did. I didn’t actually shift until much later, after I reached Feral House, nor did I have a mirror to see myself. But I could see my claws and feel the fangs. I wasn’t at all sure what was happening to me.
“It was a tragic set of circumstances all the way around, Tighe. But she loved you. Up until that day, you’d never doubted her, had you?”
Never. That’s why her betrayal cut so deep.
“She didn’t betray you. She didn’t understand what was going on. Her uncle and the other villagers were simply trying to protect themselves and their families from a creature they couldn’t comprehend. You’d have done the same, Tighe. With Amalie at your side, you wouldn’t have taken any chances. You’d have attacked first and asked questions later.”
With a deep mental sigh, he knew she was right.
Thanks, brown eyes. I’m seeing that day in a different light. A brighter light. I’ve been blaming Gretchen, blaming humans all these years. For their fears. For their close-mindedness. Perhaps unfairly.
Delaney released him and rose to walk around him, sliding her fingers through his fur from the base of his neck to his tailbone. She moved behind him and brushed her fingers along him as she returned to his head. Then she knelt in front of him, her fingers sliding through his ruff. Her eyes sparkled with excitement even as they flowed with a depth and clarity he’d rarely seen in any eyes, human or Therian.
“Can you taste my emotions in this form?”
Not as well, but yes.
“Am I afraid?”
I hear your heart pounding like it’s about to take flight.
“But am I afraid?”
No.
“Right answer. I’m…awestruck, Tighe. Exhilarated. Completely enchanted. I have goose bumps because I’m staring into the eyes of one of the most beautiful, powerful, dangerous creatures on this planet, and in his eyes I see the man I adore.” Her eyes gleamed with emotion. Softly, she added, “I see the man I love.”
Harsh joy barreled through him, taking down his heart in a single blow.
Brown eyes. I need to hold you. Step back.
When she did, he shifted back into a man, then stood and swept her into his arms. His mouth covered hers, and he kissed her, tasting the truth of her words in the passion of her lips and the tenderness of her fingers in his hair. Hearing it in the beat of her heart. A heart beating in time with his own.
Goddess, but he loved her.
Finally, he pulled back to look down into her face. “You’re really not put off by all this?”
Her eyes shone with love, her mouth forming the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. His chest tightened until he thought it would burst.
She cupped his man’s face as she had his tiger’s. “Put off is about as far from what I’m feeling as you can get.” Her thumb moved to trace his lip. He nipped her lightly with his human teeth, stroking her thumb with his tongue.
Then he kissed her again with all the tangled emotion trapped in his heart. Her words had soaked deep inside him, healing wounds he’d lived with for hundreds of years, shattering walls and defenses he hadn’t even realized he’d built against a pain he didn’t think he’d survive twice. A pain he finally understood and perhaps, at last, could relinquish.
In what might just turn out to be the last hours of his life.
With an aching heart, he pulled back from the kiss and stared into Delaney’s precious face, into eyes he could drown in. Then he swept her into his arms and strode with her through the gym, out into the hall, and into the ritual room.
Delaney’s eyes widened. “What are we doing?”
“What I should have done the first time.”
Deep inside him, the tiger gave a savage roar.
Chapter Twenty-seven
“You’re not going to try to marry me, are you?” Delaney hooked one arm around Tighe’s neck, holding tight to her towel with the other, as he carried her into the dark ritual room. With his elbow he flipped a switch and lit the pair of electric sconces that filled the room with a golden glow.
She didn’t want this, did she? He wasn’t thinking clearly.
“Tighe.”
“Hush, D.” He carried her to the wide, cushioned altar that stood on the far side of the room and deposited her in the middle.
“I don’t think this is a good idea.” She grabbed hold as he pushed the altar, with her on top, into the middle of the room.
Tighe yanked off his towel and tossed it aside as he strode to a small shelf on the wall and grabbed something. A lighter, she realized as he squatted and lit one of the ceremonial fires that had burned during their mating ceremony.
“Can we at least discuss this?”
“No.”
With a huff of frustration, she climbed off the altar, pulled her towel tight, and followed him to the second fire.
“Tighe, you have nothing to gain from this and too much to lose.”
He lit the fire, then moved to the third. “Take off your towel, D.”
“Are you even listening to me? If they get the clone, you’ll be bound to me when you know I can’t stay.”
He rose from lighting the third fire and turned to her, taking hold of her shoulders. His eyes were the golden orange of the tiger, yet within those golden depths swam a sea of emotion and a will of steel.
He squeezed her shoulders gently. “You asked me to bare myself to you, to show you my eyes and open my past as one last gift to you. Now I’m asking for one last gift from you. Don’t fight me on this, D. It’s too important to me.”
“But why? What difference does it make?”
Releasing her, he lit the fourth and fifth fires before answering.
“The difference is, if I’d bound myself to you in the first place, I would have heard your cries in my head when he first captured you. I would have been able to find you immediately. You wouldn’t have had to endure…”
Turning away, he lit the sixth and final fire, then turned off the sconces. Firelight danced on the walls, once more transforming the room into a cave of old and filling the room with whispers of magic.
Tighe ushered her back to the altar and tugged at her towel until she let go of it, then pulled it from her body. She grabbed hold of his shoulders as his hands spanned her waist, and he lifted her back onto the altar.
Stepping back, he began to chant the same odd sounds Kougar had during the mating ceremony. Three times, Tighe circled her, his powerful, naked body glowing in the firelight with strength and life, his armband gleaming.
Her gaze reveled in his raw, male beauty even as her heart clenched with the knowledge that he could be gone in a matter of hours. He could be dead. How would she live in a world without him? Any world?