She lifted my hand to her forehead and took a stuttered breath. “Thank you. I’m so sorry.”
I leaned forward, kissing her on the temple. “I love you, Pen. We all do. No matter what.”
“I love you, too,” she said with a sad smile. “Now get out of here before you miss the whole thing.”
My stomach sank, knowing that she was saying no. I’d never seen her so down, so unreachable. Brooke had destroyed more than Penna’s leg when she’d sabotaged us, and I had no clue what it was going to take to bring her back.
Rachel’s eyes were soft as she leaned against the wall in the hallway, watching me. For that second, her guard was down and I simply saw her, not the walls she’d hidden behind since I discovered her on board.
She blinked rapidly and cleared her throat. “Yeah, so we should go.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Penna, you sure you’ll be all right?”
She waved us off, her mask firmly in place. “Absolutely. Take pictures.”
I headed for the door, Rachel following. We were silent as we made it to the thankfully empty elevator. The last thing I needed was any more of the girls I’d slept with on this boat getting near us. Oh, yeah, I was reaping what I’d sown, and it tasted rather bitter every time Rachel lifted an eyebrow at me in that knowing way she had.
“You really do love her,” she said softly as I hit the fourth deck so we could disembark.
“Of course I do. She’s the closest thing I have to a sister.”
She adjusted her backpack, the black straps thick above her swimsuit’s halter neckline. “It’s just nice to know that you are still the same in some ways.”
The numbers lit as we passed through a few floors, and I tried to gather my thoughts. To say something that would give me half a chance of Rachel being real with me at least for the next few hours. “I’m the same in almost every way that matters.”
“And those that don’t?” she asked as the elevator dinged.
“Some better, some worse, all the aftereffects of what happened with us.”
She stiffened, but her eyes didn’t. “I get that,” she said as she walked out in front of me.
We made our way quietly through the disembarkation area, empty since everyone with access to the VIP exit was already gone. Once our IDs were scanned, we headed down the ramp off the Athena.
Rachel’s shoulders slumped as we looked over the port of Colombo. “We missed the bus.” She turned, bumping into me.
My hands steadied her bare shoulders. Shit, her skin was just as soft as I’d remembered. I immediately lifted my hands, knowing our small truce would be over if I touched her when she clearly didn’t want me to.
She stepped backward, making my point.
“Yeah, we’re about an hour and”—I checked my watch—“twelve minutes late. Don’t worry, I had Little John get me a car.” A quick search of my pockets and I dangled the keys in front of her.
“You knew?” she asked, her eyes narrowing.
“Knew that I’d miss the bus? Yeah, I had a paper due for Civ. You missing the bus is just an added bonus. Want a lift to the slides?”
She chewed on her lower lip while the gears in her brain turned. The impulsive Rachel I’d loved didn’t appear much around me. This one thought through every decision she made if I was involved. “It’s a two-hour drive.”
“A little over, actually.”
She groaned, rolling her neck.
“Hey, no pressure. I’m just a guy asking a girl if she needs a ride.”
She arched an eyebrow. “You ask a lot of girls that.”
Shots fired. I was going to need a hell of a lot thicker armor if I wanted to get close to her. “Maybe, but you’re the only one I know I don’t have a shot with.”
Something flickered across her eyes. Was that disappointment? Please be disappointment!
“Fine. I’ll ride with you.”
She spun and walked down the ramp, leaving me to follow. Once we hit the pavement, she let me take the lead, finding the Jeep Little John had arranged for us. Top and doors off, it was perfect for the muggy heat.
“How about I drive?” Rachel asked, tossing her backpack in the backseat.
“How about we both live through the drive?” I joked. “See, even the port agrees,” I said, pointing to the Safety First sign that hung at the gate to the pier.
She huffed but hopped in, fastening her seat belt as I did the same. As soon as I’d entered the GPS coordinates Pax had left me, we rolled out.
The city was busy, but we found the highway easily enough. My stomach wouldn’t settle, and my nerves wouldn’t calm. It was worse now than it had been the spring I’d fallen for her. Being this close to Rachel was like setting a magnet next to a compass—everything I thought I knew started spinning, and I couldn’t tell which way was up.
“Music?” I asked, needing any distraction from the way her smooth legs stretched out from her seat.
“My phone’s worthless for everything but iTunes out here,” she said, plugging it into the jack that wired to the vehicle’s sound system. Fall Out Boy came to life in the speakers, and she pulled her sunglasses over her eyes, then fought to tie her hair back against the wind whipping through the Jeep.
The lush, green hills rose around us as we headed farther inland, and it wasn’t long before she pulled out her camera and started snapping pictures.
When Tom Petty came on, I shot her a questioning look.