“I’m not pretending. I do care.”
“You care so much that you’re leaving? What a guy.”
Grant’s face darkened to an angry red. “I never planned to stay. Besides, why should you care if I go? You don’t need another wannabe parent hanging around anyway.”
“Damn right.”
Grant slugged back the rest of his milk, and when he was done, all his anger was gone, like he’d just pushed it away.
Dale wished he knew how to do the same. He’d always thought he’d wanted his dad out of his life, but now that he was gone and there was no hope of him ever coming back, he wasn’t so sure. At least when Wyatt was in prison, there was a chance he’d become a good man—a chance that someday things would be different between them. But not now. All those chances were over.
Grant stood and laid a strong hand on Dale’s shoulder. He should have jerked away or shaken it off, but something in him reveled in the comfort Grant’s hand offered. “I know you hurt right now, but I want you to know something I wished someone had told me when my mom died.”
“What’s that, oh expert?”
His mocking tone didn’t even make Grant blink. His gaze was steady, confident. “It will get better. Maybe not much and maybe not right away, but you won’t always feel like this.”
Dale prayed he was right. He wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to stand feeling the way he did now—suffering through this constant, searing pain, like someone had scooped out a big chunk of him and poured in acid in its place. Nothing mattered but finding a way to escape this reality. He didn’t give a fuck about school or his SATs. He couldn’t even bring himself to talk to Angela. It’s not like they had any future together, anyway. Why bother?
He just wanted to crawl back into bed and try to sleep. It was the only thing that worked. Thank God he had a bottle of sleeping pills to help him get there.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Grant lay on the couch, unable to sleep. Thoughts of what he’d do and where he’d go now that he was leaving Isabelle filled his head. It should have been an easy decision for him. He’d spent years dreaming about what he’d do after he left the army. And now he could do anything he wanted. Except stay here.
Sunlight filtered through the living-room curtains. It wasn’t even six, but Caleb had always been an early riser.
It was selfish of him to make the call, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He felt too alone not to reach out to his friends.
Caleb answered on the second ring. “Hey, Grant. Hold on a sec,” he said in a whisper.
Grant heard Lana make a sleepy, contented sound in the background, then the click of a door closing. “What’s up?” asked Caleb.
“I was calling to see how Lana was.” It was only partly the truth, but it made him feel like less of a jerk for interrupting his friends’ rest.
“David didn’t tell you our good news?”
“No, but I could sure use some of that right now.”
“Lana’s pregnant.” Grant could hear the proud smile in Caleb’s voice.
“Congratulations, man. That’s fantastic. Is she feeling better?”
“The flu is gone, thank God. Morning sickness made it worse, which is probably why she had a tough time of it, but they got the dehydration under control and she’s home now. If I’d known she was pregnant, I wouldn’t have freaked out quite so much.”
“You didn’t know? I thought you were going through fertility treatments.”
“We’d saved up for them but hadn’t actually started the process. Now we can use that money to get a house. Fix up a nursery.”
“I’m so happy for you.” And he was. The tension in his body had started to ease at the sound of his buddy’s happiness.
“I just wish you were going to be around, man. Have you got a job lined up yet?”
“Not yet.”
“I’m sure you’ll find something. Hell, you could be a recruiter from the way David tells it. Mad is working out great. I don’t think the man ever sleeps for all the work he gets done.”
Grant’s hand tightened against a stab of jealousy. “Good to hear. Think David will need any more help?”
“Not with Mad around. That man does the job of three people.”
A gaping hole opened up in Grant’s chest, and his last shred of hope flew out of it. “Sounds like it’s really working out, then.”
“I’ve never seen David happier.”
“He deserves it. You do, too.”
“How are things on your end?” asked Caleb. “How’s it working with your lady?”
Grant forced his voice to a careless tone. “Didn’t work out.”
“Sorry, man. I bet the rest of the single female population is thrilled, though. Think of all those women you’ll get to enjoy now that you’re a free man.”
Somehow, the prospect of hanging out with women he cared nothing about wasn’t as appealing as it had always been. Maybe it was just a passing thing. He sure as hell hoped so.
“I was thinking I’d come for a visit,” said Grant.
“I’d love to see you, but can we hold off for a few weeks? Lana’s still feeling sick, and whatever time I’m not taking care of her, I’m working. There wouldn’t be any time to spare right now, and I don’t want to have you come out just to ignore you.”
“Oh, sure. No problem. We’ll do it another time.” He had nothing but time.
“Sounds great.”