He meant he was going to kill himself.
The whole situation shifted into something darker. It was bad enough that they were all tied up, worse that he wanted them dead, but now Isabelle had no way to reason with him. He was a man with nothing to lose, and there was nothing more dangerous than that.
She had to save the kids. “Please, let Dale and Rachel go. They have nothing to do with this.”
“I admit I hadn’t intended to include them at first, but now that I have a better idea of what their lives have been like, I don’t see any other option. I could never forgive myself if I left them here to suffer—orphans alone in the world.”
“What do you care if they go free? You’ll be dead.”
“What kind of man would I be if I used that as an excuse not to do what I know is right? Those children are suffering the same way that you and I have suffered for years. Dale would probably end up a suicide before the year was out, anyway. Why should he have to endure all that time when the end result is the same? And Rachel. Once Amanda is gone, she’ll end up back with her father.”
“No. The courts would never grant him custody. Amanda had his parental rights terminated.”
“It won’t matter. I’ve seen decisions like that reversed before. It might happen again.” He went to Rachel and stroked her cheek. “You’d rather go to sleep forever than go live with your daddy again, wouldn’t you, sweetheart?”
Rachel trembled, and her eyes were huge with fear. Isabelle saw her look grow vacant as she retreated into herself.
“Leave her alone! I’m the one you want to kill. Not her.”
Keith stood and an angry snarl twisted his face. “I’m not killing anyone. I’m helping them. Do you think planning all of this has been easy for me? I’ve sacrificed so much to help all of you. You have no idea.”
“Please, Keith. Please let them go. They’ll be fine. They’ll take care of each other the way we did.” She nearly gagged but managed to say the words, “The way you’re helping me now. Give them a chance.”
“I’m glad to see your protective instincts are as strong as ever. It’ll make things easier on both of us. The others were easy, but I don’t think I could bring myself to hurt you again. I love you too much.”
“If you’re not going to hurt me, then let me go now. I can take care of the kids. You know I’d never let them suffer.”
“That’s not what I mean. I just mean that in your case, it won’t be an act. It really will be suicide.”
“I’ve got too much to live for to ever kill myself. You’re insane if you think otherwise.”
He gave her a sad smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll help you do the right thing.” He took a glass of water from the table nearby. “You’re going to swallow this entire bottle of pills.”
“No. I’m not.”
A look of disappointment crossed Keith’s face. He took a pillow from the couch, calmly walked to Dale, covered his face with it, and began to suffocate him.
Shock froze Isabelle in place for a moment. She couldn’t believe this was really happening. The man she’d thought her friend since she was a child was killing her son.
The beaded fringe on the pillow shook as Dale thrashed against it, trying to breathe.
“Keith, no!” She struggled against her bonds until she heard a loud pop in her shoulder followed by blinding pain. Blackness inched over her vision, but she fought it. She had to stay awake for the kids. Had to save them.
She didn’t want to die, but she’d do anything to protect Dale. Anything.
“Stop!” she shouted.
“Are you going to cooperate?”
“Yes. Just let him live. Let him go.”
Keith nodded and set the pillow in Dale’s lap, keeping it handy in case he needed it again, she was sure. Dale’s face was blood red, and he sucked air in through his nose, making a horrible, sickening sound.
Isabelle ached to go to him. To help him.
Keith opened the bottle of pills and poured three into his palm. “Open wide,” he said.
“You promise to let him go?” she asked.
Keith shrugged. “Like I said, he’s not going to need me to help him.”
He was wrong. Dale wasn’t going to kill himself. He was stronger than that. He was a survivor.
Isabelle swallowed hard, trying not to throw up. Her shoulder throbbed, but at least the pain wasn’t going to make her pass out any longer.
Enraged, frightened tears streamed over the tape covering Dale’s face. His eyes were pleading with hers not to do this, but she had no choice. “I love you, Dale. None of this is your fault. You stay strong for me. You hold on.”
Dale shook his head, telling her not to do it, but she knew it was the only way.
Isabelle opened her mouth.
Hard, bitter pills hit her tongue, then Keith held the glass for her to drink. She swallowed them, hoping she’d just drift off rather than suffering like she had the last time Keith had poisoned her.
“Only seventy-two more to go,” said Keith in an almost cheerful tone.
Another handful of pills went into her mouth. Isabelle swallowed those, too. She had no choice. She was trapped. No escape.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Grant felt sick. Every inch he put between him and Isabelle made him feel worse.
He eyed the bag of cookies in the front seat and cringed. He hadn’t been able to eat this morning, but he still wasn’t hungry. Walking away from Isabelle had killed his appetite, along with other, more vital parts of him he had no name for.
Another mile marker flew by. Grant swallowed and gripped the steering wheel harder. He couldn’t do this. He wasn’t a strong enough man to do this again—to go out into the world on his own, utterly alone, with no home, no family, no future.
He loved Isabelle. He needed her. How was he going to live without her?
How was he going to wake up every morning and not know how she was, what she was feeling, what she was doing? And what about Dale and Rachel? He’d grown attached to them, too. He didn’t want to disappear from their lives. He wanted to be a part of them—to color with Rachel and make her feel safe, to help Dale ace his test, be there when he graduated from high school. College.
Dale and Rachel both deserved a father figure, and Grant wanted it to be him.
But if he truly cared about them, wouldn’t he just keep driving? He wasn’t father material. That’s why he had to keep away from Isabelle, too. She deserved someone who shared her dreams—someone who would be as good a father to her kids as she was a mother—and that wasn’t Grant. He could never be that man.
Could he?
A sliver of hope expanded in his chest, burning so hot he had to pull over to the side of the highway to keep from crashing his car. Traffic sped by him, rocking his car slightly as it passed.
Maybe he wasn’t good father material now, but maybe he could be one day. His entire military career had been a series of impossible challenges. He’d met every one without flinching. Maybe he could do this, too.
He wasn’t afraid of hard work. He wasn’t the kind of man who saw failure as an option. He’d never given up on anything in his life. Why would he give up on the single most important challenge he’d ever faced?
Sure, his dad had been a raging asshole, but he’d also been a drunk. Grant wasn’t either of those. He’d made sure that he didn’t follow in his father’s footsteps that way. Why, then, was he so afraid he’d be the same kind of father?
The stakes. That was why. They were high when kids were involved. As long as he was alone, he couldn’t fuck up anyone else’s life but his own. If he became a husband, a father, that changed everything. It would no longer be a training op, but the real thing. Real people could be hurt.
Tiny, defenseless people. And Isabelle, whom he loved more than anyone or anything in his life.
Then again, weren’t those the very people he’d be willing to risk everything to help? People he loved?
Grant’s heart slowed. Time stretched out, giving him time to make his decision. This only happened whenever he had an important shot to make. It was how his mind allowed him to deal with life-or-death decisions, and this was definitely in that category.
Could he escape his past, his heritage? Could he overcome all his flaws and weaknesses to deserve the things he wanted most out of life? A home. A family.
Did he dare to take that risk?
If that was the cost of having forever with Isabelle, then hell, yes. He’d risk anything for her and her children. And he’d succeed. He always did when the stakes were high. He would now, too.
The fact that he couldn’t walk away from Dale, Rachel, and Isabelle now had to be worth something. It had to prove that he wasn’t a quitter and that he didn’t just walk away when things got hard, like his old man had.
Grant wasn’t like him. He was better than that. He deserved a chance to prove to Isabelle that he could be the man she wanted. Be the man he wanted to be.
Excitement made him shake as he merged back onto the highway and took the next exit ramp. He had to get back to Isabelle. Right now. He couldn’t wait to ask her to give him a chance. She wouldn’t have to give up any of her dreams for him.
He’d make them all come true.
Isabelle thought she imagined the knock on the front door. Then Keith set down the half-empty bottle of pills and she knew that it had really happened.
A flash of hope filled her, and she pulled in a deep breath so she could scream loud enough to be heard.
Keith’s hand clamped hard over her mouth and he gave her a stern look. “Scream and you’ll be sorry. Or should I say, Rachel will be.”
Isabelle nodded her head just to get him to move his hand. Whoever was out there was her only chance of getting Dale and Rachel out of this alive. She’d stay quiet until he was far enough away he couldn’t stop her scream.
Keith moved his hand, but rather than going to see who was at the door, like she expected, he ripped off a length of tape and sealed her mouth shut.
Isabelle screamed anyway, but it wasn’t loud enough to be heard through the heavy wooden door.
The knock came again, more insistent this time. “Isabelle, I need to talk to you.”
Grant! He was alive. And he’d come back to her.
Relief swept through her, so sharp it stung. She shifted her weight, trying to rock her chair so he’d hear the thud. She screamed behind the tape until her throat burned. Dale did the same.
Keith’s face went white and his blue eyes widened in disbelief. “No. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I planned so carefully.”
“Isabelle, I know you’re in there. All the cars are here. Please let me in.” Grant sounded almost desperate.
“He can’t hear you,” said Keith in a whisper right by her ear. “He’ll go away in a minute, thinking you’ve rejected him. He’ll go back to his car, drive away, and it will all be over.” He sounded nervous, like he was trying to convince himself more than her.
“I’m not going to let you shut me out,” said Grant. “I love you. Do you hear me?” His voice got loud enough even her neighbors would hear. “I love you, Isabelle. I’m not leaving until you let me in.”