Sangsang silently got up at midnight and put on her loose-fitting handmaiden robe. Then she wore her old cotton shoes, pushed open the door and walked to the courtyard.
She wiped off the snow on the edge of the well and collected water to fill the water vat. She put the firewood in good order at the foot of the wall and then brought the broom to the front of the shop. She swept the floor, cleaned the table and tidied up the scattered calligraphy stationery. Finally, she squatted at the gate, checking over the house to see whether there was something that still needed to be cleaned.
These were the things that she did every day, but today she was more attentive and careful than before. It was already dawn by the time she finished all these things. She squinted her eyes to see the slowly brightening sky, then went to buy two bowls of hot and sour sliced noodle soup at the entrance of the street.
She silently finished her noodle soup beside the table, then washed her bowl. Later she returned to the bedroom to pack up her clothes. She took out the box from the floor under the bed and separated the silver notes inside into two equal piles, then put her half into her pocket.
She went to the bed and looked at Ning Que, who was sound asleep. Her willow-like eyebrows gradually frowned, and she maintained the posture for quite a long time. After that, she picked up her baggage and left without any expression of hesitation.
The door of Old Brush Pen Shop was opened.
The door of Old Brush Pen Shop was closed.
The door didn’t make any sound, because it had been newly repaired by Sangsang. Thus it did not awaken anybody.
Carrying her baggage, Sangsang left quietly, her thin figure disappearing down Lin 47th Street just as morning was about to visit. It never appeared again, as if she had never existed in the first place.
…
…
In the morning light, the Grand Secretary’s mansion was tranquil, with its dark-colored gate tightly closed. Outside, the servant carefully limited the noise he made while sweeping the ground. Inside, those towering trees loomed over the garden in silence.
Sangsang went to the gate and said something to the vigilant servant. Then she turned to the gate with her eyebrows frowned and knocked at the gate.
Somehow, maybe because she was feeling downcast today, she knocked at the gate so forcefully that it sounded like the fierce beating of a battle drum.
The thunderous knocking suddenly awakened those living in the Grand Secretary’s mansion. Some scoldings and unpleasant curses were heard from behind the gate. The servant, who was almost frightened to death by her behavior, rushed to just behind Sangsang and prepared to drive her away. Just at this moment, the gate opened.
“Second Chamberlain, I didn’t expect this hoyden to be so bold,” the servant sputtered, drawing a sad face.
The second chamberlain rubbed his drowsy eyes and looked at the little handmaiden with an unpleasant glare. He waved his hand and was about to ask somebody to drive the girl away, but he suddenly felt that the girl seemed familiar. Then, subconsciously, he rubbed his eyes again and finally became sober. He recalled the matter everyone was gossiping about these days.
“You… you… you are… the… the… La… la…”
…
…
The Grand Secretary couple both wore casual clothes in their hurry, not even washing their faces or hair. They just quietly looked at the little girl before them, feeling utterly confused.
Sangsang held fast to the baggage on her right shoulder and looked down at her tiny shoes, saying, “That day, you said I am your daughter?”
Mrs. Zeng hurriedly nodded, with great happiness on her face. If the Grand Secretary had not held her, she would perhaps have fainted in ecstasy.
Sangsang kept her head lowered. After a period of silence, she softly said, “When I was young, he… I heard about the law of the Tang Empire from him. Parents have the responsibility to rear their children before they get married. That day, you told me to move to your house. So based on the law of the Tang Empire, can I move in?”
“Of course you can.” Mrs. Zeng held her hand with great joy and said, “This is your family, of course you can live here.”
Besides feeling happy, Zeng Jing was also a bit confused by the thin dark girl. He remembered that day, no matter how hard he and his wife begged her, she still refused them and insisted on staying with her young master. As the Grand Secretary, of course he knew that Ning Que had returned to Chang’an. So he was left wondering what had changed her mind so drastically for her to come back and behave as their daughter.
Being a Grand Secretary, and an elder caring the majesty that went with the title of Father, Zeng Jing directly asked Sangsang about his confusion now that he had accepted Sangsang as his daughter.
Sangsang raised her head and seriously said to the couple, “I don’t like him anymore, so I don’t want to live with him anymore.”
Zeng Jing frowned. He remembered that the Empress had told them to protect the relationship between Sangsang and Ning Que. So after pondering for a while, he said, “After all, you have been living together for many years. You have supported each other in the past and built a close relationship. You had better inform him before you move back into our mansion.”
Sangsang took a glance at him, then suddenly turned around and walked out of the mansion.
Mrs. Zeng was startled and quickly caught her hand. She said in a trembling tone, “What is wrong now?”
Sangsang silently looked at Zeng Jing, saying nothing.
Mrs. Zeng was flurried and nervous. She severely glared at the Grand Secretary and said furiously, “Stop talking nonsense! If you dare to make me lose this pitiful kid again, I will kill you!”
The Grand Secretary respected his wife. Although he didn’t know what was wrong with his previous words, and felt enraged at Sangsang ignoring him, he still had to shut up under her harsh eyes.
Sangsang said to Mrs. Zeng, “I want to live with you, but not with him.”
Mrs. Zeng rejoiced and said, “No problem. I will ask someone to move your father’s things to the study immediately.”
…
…
When Ning Que woke up, he didn’t see Sangsang. So he walked to the courtyard and shouted, but there was no response from Sangsang. He stretched himself and glanced at the kitchen. There was no trace of Sangsang at all. He shook his head, then found the bowl of hot and sour sliced noodle soup on the table at the front of the shop.
“I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet, how can I have breakfast now?”
He thought to himself at the sight of the hot and sour sliced noodle soup, his eyebrows knotted. During the past few years, Sangsang would hand him a bowl of clean water and the dental set when he got up every day. He had gotten used to this over a long time, so he felt unaccustomed to it when Sangsang didn’t come out.
“Even if you were in such a hurry to buy the first and most delicious bowl of soup, you should first serve me as I wash my face and brush my teeth. Wait, the soup has been bought. Where the hell did you go?”
Eating the hot and spicy shredded noodles beside the table, Ning Que spent some time wondering where Sangsang could have gone. Finally, he guessed that she might have gone to the vegetable market at the south gate to buy the cheap and fresh vegetables sold there, driven by her parsimony.
“It’s only a few coins cheaper. Is it necessary for you to get up so early and walk such a long distance?”
After eating, Ning Que went to the backyard with the bowl while laughing at her in his heart. He randomly put the bowl down on the hearth and felt somewhat sleepy, so he went back to sleep again.
When the sun had climbed higher in the sky, he woke up again and rubbed his eyes, then went outside without wearing his shoes. There was still no trace of Sangsang, so he shouted in great anger,”Bring me hot water! How can I go out today?”
Nobody responded. Every corner of the Old Brush Pen Shop was in silence.
Ning Que stiffened and walked into the kitchen. He found the bowl was still on the hearth, and there was neither firewood nor fire in the hearth. Of course there could be no hot water.
He walked to the wall of the courtyard and sighed at the tidy firewood pile, then picked up a small bundle of firewood and returned to the kitchen to make a fire.
It was not difficult for him to make a fire and heat up some water, although he hadn’t done such trifles for many years. After all, it was he who had to manage their lives in the earlier years. The water in the pot was soon boiling.
Looking at the hot steam, Ning Que felt that something was wrong.
After the water was heated, he washed his face and even washed the dirty bowl.
Normally it would be time for him to go to the Academy or to idle in Chang’an. But today, he went nowhere other than the front of the shop. He sat on his armchair and looked at the displays that were polished till they shone, as well as the clean floor devoid of dirt. He felt absent-minded.
After a long period of silence, he felt stiff to some extent. Occasionally, someone would pass by the shop, and he would raise his head at the sight of their shadows. But in the end, nobody pushed the door open to walk in.
Nobody pushed open the door to come back.
Ning Que had been waiting in silence until noon, after which he stood up, opened the door and walked out.
He bought a roasted duck in the Bianyi Shop in the Eastern City and some green vegetables in the market, then returned to the Old Brush Pen Shop.
Sangsang still hadn’t come back. After a moment of silence, Ning Que entered the kitchen and fried two dishes of vegetables and a bowl of steamed rice. Then he peeled the duck and arranged the pieces beautifully on the plate. Finally, he put the dishes on the table at the front of the shop.
Two pairs of chopsticks, two bowls of white rice, and a rich spread of dishes.
Ning Que was satisfied with the dishes on the table. He put his hand on his knees and waited.
However, nobody came back even after a long time.
There were still two pairs of chopsticks, but only one person. What was worse, the rice and the side dishes had become cold.
After staring at the food for a long time, Ning Que picked up his chopsticks and began to eat.
But somehow his hands were trembling. He tried for a long time, yet failed to pinch even a piece of the vegetable.
He wanted to pick up and throw away the chopsticks, yet he refrained himself from doing so. Then he gently placed them on the table.
Suddenly he stood up and went to his bedroom. He rudely turned over the bed board and took out the box, then threw all the contents of the box onto the bed.
Looking at those drifting notes, he was finally convinced that she had left by herself.
Ning Que folded those notes and put them into his pocket emotionlessly. From the storage box in the corner, he took out the Primordial Thirteen Arrows that had been repaired the day before and put them into his bag, then inserted all the Fu paper into his sleeves. He took the chopper from beside the pile of firewood and put it on his waist, and finally, he hung the big black umbrella on his back and walked out of the Old Brush Pen Shop.
He knew Sangsang would be safe, but he was clear that what he would now confront would be the harshest moment of his life, so he brought with him all his most important objects. It seemed that only in this way could he feel comfortable again, and he assured himself that he would definitely bring back the most important person in his life.
If he couldn’t bring her back, then it wasn’t necessary for him to come back either.
…