"Luc!" The sitter burst out the front door, pausing when she saw the three of us nearby. "I'm sorry, Mr. Adam, he slipped away again."
Hurrying forward, she scooped Luc into her arms. "You're like an eel, boy."
"Bye," Luc said as she turned and carried him back to the trailer. The child cast curious glances at me the entire way.
"You don't belong here," Adam said.
His words hurt, but I was determined not to show it. "I know."
"I'll take you home."
"To Boston?"
"Would you go?"
"No."
"There isn't a loup-garou, Diana. You're wasting your time. If you stay, someone's going to get hurt."
"People are dying. What's killing them, Adam? You?"
"What if I was?"
I blinked. "I - uh - what?"
"What if I was killing them?"
"You said there wasn't a wolf."
"Exactly. So it must be a person."
"But... the police found proof of an animal killing people."
"Then it's an animal, which means it isn't me."
"Unless you're the loup-garou."
"I'm not a wolf."
"Yet you disappear under every crescent moon."
"I don't disappear. I stay at my shack."
"Why?"
"Things happen under that moon." He took a deep breath. "I mean things have happened. To me, in de army. I try not to remember, but - "
He let the breath out and his shoulders slumped. I wanted to touch his hair, hold his hand, but I knew he wouldn't let me.
"Luc was wrong," he said. "I don't like de crescent moon; I despise it."
"What happened?"
Instead of answering, he took my arm and half-led, half-dragged me to the ancient Chevy parked in the driveway. The thing appeared to be at least forty years old. A little restoration would do wonders, just like the mansion. Right now the car was a mess - rusted, blotchy, no true color to speak of. Adam opened the passenger door and I balked.
"Get in," he said through gritted teeth, "or I will make you."
I glanced at the trailer. Luc waved from the window. I got in the car, wincing when a busted spring thumped me in the ass. The seat was badly torn, as if an animal had clawed it apart.
The car was so old, it didn't have air-conditioning. In a near-synchronized movement, we rolled down the windows. The morning was already hot enough that the wind felt good in my hair.
"I'm not gonna tell you what happened," Adam murmured. "I can't"
The "can't" stopped me. I understood that special ops were a secret.
"What happened to your wife?"
His fingers tightened on the wheel. "She's gone."
"How?"
I imagined terrible things - things that had put the shadows in his eyes. Was this why he couldn't love me? Death was something I understood.
"Packed up her stuff, cleaned out our bank accounts, and ran. The bitch."
I gaped. "What? She's dead."
"I hope so."
"Luc said his mother was dead."
"She is to me. To him, too." His gaze shifted to mine, then back to the road. "She isn't coming back, if that's what you're worried about."
"I'm worried about your sanity. Why would you tell your child his mother is dead when she - ?"
"Took off. Abandoned him. Left when he was not much more than a year old and never came back. She didn't want him. She hates him almost as much as she hates - "
His mourn snapped closed over the last word. But I could figure it out. His wife hated him. I doubted he'd tell me why.
"You didn't see her again?"
"Nope."
"Didn't hear from her?"
"Zap."
"So you're still married."
"Not in my mind."
"Terrific," I muttered.
"If I don't know where she is, how can I send her the divorce papers?"
He had a point. Still -
"It was never a real marriage," he insisted.
"You got a license?"
"Yeah."
"Then it was real."
"I never loved her. She never loved me. We got married because..." He shrugged and I understood.
"You couldn't keep it in your pants. What a shock."
Silence settled over the interior of the car. But I was unable to remain quiet for long. "Why did you tell me you couldn't have children?"
"I can't. Not anymore. After Luc I - " He fell silent, as if he could no longer find the words.
I had no such trouble. "You were in an accident? Caught the mumps? What?"
"I had a vasectomy."
My mouth fell open. I seemed to have that problem a lot lately. "Why?"
"I don't make de same mistake twice."
"But - What if you met someone? Wanted more children?"
"I won't."
My chest hurt, as if someone were pounding on it with a lead pipe, trying to break my heart.
"You can't know that," I managed.
"I will never marry again. Never have another child. It's de way things are."
I never planned to marry again, either, knew with utter certainty I'd never love anyone the way I'd loved Simon. I hadn't wanted a baby with him; I definitely didn't want one with anyone else. So why did Adam's words bother me so much?
Because I smelled a lie in there somewhere; I just wasn't sure where. Perhaps it was the lie of omission. He had another life, a family I didn't even know about And if he'd lied about that, he'd probably lied about something else.
"Why didn't you tell me about Luc?"
"My life in de swamp is different from my life with my son."
I stiffened. "And I'm part of your life in the swamp? How flattering."
"Diana, you don't understand - "
"I think I do. You don't want your precious son being contaminated by the trampy woman you're screwing."
His jaw tightened. "That isn't what I said."
"You don't have to." I crossed my arms and stared out the window.
"I'll do anything to keep Luc from being hurt."
I shot him a glare. "You think I'd hurt him?"
"Not on purpose. But - " He lifted his hand from the steering wheel, then lowered it. "He wants a mother. I can't give him one."
"You could."
"No," he said with cold finality. "You plan on stayin', cher? You want a ready-made family? A little cabin in de swamp? Drive a car pool? Make bag lunches? Soccer games and Little League?"
When I hesitated, he nodded. "That's what I thought. So I keep him away. Why get his hopes up? He's gonna have a hard enough life as it is."
"Why is his life going to be hard?"
"That's just de way Me is."
"You know the future?"
"Sometimes I think I do."
I stared at him as he stared out the windshield. "You say the strangest things."
"I don't want you to tell anyone about him."
I spread my hands wide. "Who would I tell?"
"No one knows he's my son. I want to keep it that way. People around here, they think I'm nuts."
"I wonder why," I said dryly.
He ignored me. "Luc should have as normal of a life as possible."