She looked up at him gravely.
"And leave mamma and--Dick? Yes?"
The acquiescence touched him.
"You won't mind, dearest--you won't mind leaving England?"
She shook her head.
"How cold and cruel I have become," she said, as if she were communing
with herself. "But I do not care; I feel as if I could leave any one--go
anywhere--if--if--I were with you!"
She moved, so that she knelt beside him, and her small brown hands were
palm downward on his breast; her eyes shone like stars with the light of
a perfect love glowing in them; her sweet lips quivered, as, with all a
young girl's abandonment to her first passion, she breathed: "Do you think I care whether you are poor or rich? I love you! Do you
think I care whether you are handsome or ugly? It is you I love. Do you
think I care where I go, so that you take me with you? I could not live
without you. I would rather wander through the world, in rags, and
starving, cold, and hungry, than--than marry a king and live in a
palace! I only want you, you, you! I have wanted you since--since that
first day--do you remember? I--turn your eyes away, don't look at me; I
am so ashamed!--I came down to you that night--the first night! You were
calling for water, and I--I raised you on my arm, and--and oh! I was so
happy! I did not know, guess, why; but I know now. I--I must have loved
you even then!"
She hid her eyes on his arm, and he kissed her hair reverently.
"And every day I--I grew to love you more. I was only happy when I was
with you. I wondered why. But I know now! And you were always so kind
and gentle with me; so unlike any other man I had met--the vicar, Doctor
Spence--and I used to like to listen to you; and--and when you touched
me something ran through me, something filled me with gladness."
She paused for breath, her eyes fixed on his face, as if she were not
seeing him, but the past, and her own self moving and being in that
past.
"And then you went, and all the happiness, all the gladness, seemed to
go, and--bend lower--I--I can only whisper it--the night you went I
flung myself on the bed and--and cried."
"My Nell, my dearest!" was all he could say.
"I cried because it seemed to me that my life had come to an end; that
never, so long as I should live, should I know one moment of happiness
again. It was as if all the light had gone out of the sky, as if the sun
had turned cold--ah! you don't know!"