He had not waited for her to respond, but had left her at once, and, so
that she should not think him quite heartbroken, had hummed an air as he
went.
And now that he lay here 'twixt life and death, Nell's heart ached for
him, and she longed, with a longing beyond all words, that she could
have returned the love he bore her.
But alas, alas! she had no love to give. Drake had stolen it long ago,
there at Shorne Mills; and though he had flung it from him, it could not
come back to her.
Even as she sat, with Falconer's hand in hers, she could not keep her
mind from dwelling on Drake, though the failure of her attempt to do so
covered her with shame. She had been in his arms again, had heard his
voice, and the glamour of his presence and his touch were upon her.
His face hovered before her in the dim light of the sick room, and
filled her with the aching longing of unsatisfied love.
Oh, why could she not forget him? Why could she not bring herself to
accept, to return, the love of the man who loved her with all his heart
and soul? He was all that was good, he was a genius, and a brave man to
boot! Surely any woman might be proud to possess him for a husband,
might learn to love him!
She turned and looked at him as he lay, his head tossing restlessly on
the pillow, his lips moving deliriously; but though her whole being was
stirred with pity for him, pity is not love, though it may be nearly
akin, and one cannot force love as one forces a hothouse plant.
After a while he became weaker, and the rambling, incoherent talk
ceased; but she was still holding his hand when Dick and the doctor came
in again. She sought the latter's face eagerly, but he merely smiled
encouragingly.
"He has had a better night than I expected," he said, "and the
temperature is not exceedingly high. You had better get some rest, Miss
Lorton; you have been sitting up, I see."
Dick drew Nell out of the room.
"Drake--confound it! Lord Angleford, I mean!--has sent for Sir William.
Is--is he going to die, do you think. Nell?"
Nell shook her head, her eyes filling.
"I don't know; I hope not. You--you have seen Dra--Lord Angleford,
Dick?"
"Just now. He came to inquire. Nell, I can't understand it, though he
has tried to explain why he hid his real name; and--and--Nell--he didn't
tell me why you and he broke it off."