Chapter 226: Mika Uehara Wavers
Translator: imperfectluck Editor: vb24
A guest arrived for Mika.
It was Kaede Juumonji.
Originally, she didn’t want to say anything to her, but after chatting for a while, she was overcome by a talkative mood.
No, perhaps it was better to describe it as her curiosity.
"Juumonji-sensei, I’d like to ask you something." She looked at the blonde beauty sitting across from her. "As a young lady, you left your family and started living here by yourself. You even applied for a job at Genhana High School… why is it that you can do this much just for him?"
Kaede's eyes shone with a resolute light when she heard this.
Mika’s considerate mother had already gone to another room, leaving them to chat alone. Mika and Kaede were the only people in the living room.
"Why…" Kaede slowly sipped on her tea. "Because I like him and want to get closer to him… but that’s not the answer you’re looking for, is it?"
"Mmm… What I want to ask is… what I mean is this: even when liking a boy, doing things to such a degree isn’t easy. Haven’t you… ever hesitated before?" Mika asked in a low and heavy tone of voice. "Before you did all this, haven't you ever considered that even if you do all this, you might not necessarily succeed. It might not even be worth it for you to do all this, and your efforts could all end up going to waste… something like that? Honestly, he… Seigo told me before that he only has a good impression of you, but… he wasn’t moved by your actions; he was only surprised— even bothered slightly. Everything you did… everything you did for him, he only feels… just like that! Don’t you feel… bad about all this?"
Moving, finding a job… it wasn’t as easy as it sounded.
Considering it carefully, this was basically akin to changing your entire life.
Although she'd made such huge changes for the person she liked, he wasn’t moved by it. Wouldn’t this… cause her to feel regret?
Normally speaking, wouldn’t feeling regretful be the first reaction? Even some complaints and hatred wouldn't be unusual.
However, the blonde teacher sitting across from her remained quite calm.
"Indeed… if you put it like that, I do sound rather pitiful." Kaede smiled at her situation.
This definitely wasn’t an expression that someone who truly felt she was pitiful could have.
"But I don’t believe I’m pitiful… honestly speaking, I am a little sad that he wasn’t moved by it in the end, but… it’s still only natural, isn’t it?"
"Eh?"
"Even though I did all this for him, in the end, it didn’t have anything to do with him. He didn’t request that I do this, nor did he wish that I would do this; I did this all of my own volition," Kaede said lightly, keeping her eyes fixed on Mika. "If he was moved by it, I’d be delighted, but just as you said, he was only surprised, and, unfortunately, somewhat bothered. This type of reaction is actually normal. If it were me, and a man I wasn’t familiar with suddenly did the same things just for me, I might react the same way."
"Simply speaking," Kaede continued, "doing something for someone doesn’t actually have much to do with that person. Do you understand what I’m saying?"
"This…" Mika felt as if she had received an impact.
"Let me give you an extreme example. If a crazed fan committed suicide just because the fan’s favorite idol found a boyfriend, does this incident have anything to do with the idol?"
Mika was unable to answer.
"The answer is no. Even though the answer may sound cold and cruel, that’s the truth. What this fan did wasn’t what the idol would have wanted, nor is it what anyone would have wanted. The fan did it of his own volition, that’s all. For his idol… for love—for the person he loved—he was willing to die… well, I suppose you could phrase it like that. But at the same time, you could also say that he selfishly used the name of the idol to commit a foolish act of his own volition."
"Of the above two ways to look at it, which do you agree with, Uehara-san?"
Mika was unable to answer.
"No matter what you believe to be accurate, the idol has zero responsibility for the fan’s death. Perhaps she’ll feel guilty, publicly apologize, or even retire because of it, that’s all because of the idol’s personal opinion, not their responsibility."
Kaede finished talking about her example in a light voice and began sipping tea again.
The scene remained silent for a few moments.
"How cruel… this…" Mika muttered softly.
The example that the blonde teacher had given, or more accurately, what she expressed to Mika through the example, left her with a huge impact!
Doing something for the person you liked… any action at all, even death, was unrelated to that person?
Was this reality? If so, this type of reality, this type of world... was too cruel.
Mika Uehara found it difficult to accept.
"Yes, it’s quite cruel." Kaede nodded, agreeing with Mika’s assessment. "That’s why acting for someone else’s sake is incredibly risky. Acting for your friends could result in betrayal, but acting for the sake of strangers is an even greater risk. Some people don’t know about or don’t truly understand this risk and the pressure involved and simply act out of passion. However, a few understand all this perfectly; they are familiar with the cruelty of reality and still choose to make this step."
"The first type of person is courageous, but the second type of person is a hero." Kaede began smiling again. "I feel that he… Haruta-kun is a hero."
Haruta-kun.
‘Not Harano-kun!?’
Mika's eyes widened in surprise.
"Yes, by the way, I know Harano-kun’s real name. I know more about him than you realize." The blonde teacher… no, the lady from the mafia family recalled the first time she met him.
She had fallen in love with Seiji at first sight, and Seiji even received her father’s and her two brothers’ approval, so Seiji was truly strong!
"Currently, I’m still quite far from being able to reach him. But I’ll still keep striving to close the distance between us. Another way of putting it is that I’m going to take action for the sake of my own feelings. No matter what the result is, I won’t regret it. Because… he’s my hero."
‘He’s someone worthy of my love.’
Kaede’s eyes were filled with staunch resolution.
This was her answer.
Mika was shocked by this, despite the fact that she already knew this blonde beauty that came out of nowhere was an amazing person.
At this time, she finally recognized the full extent of Kaede’s resolution…
She inwardly compared her feelings to Kaede's unwavering resolution.
She was still hesitating because of "choosing." Frustratingly, for the past few days, she had been stuck in her own train of thought. She'd not revealed her situation to him and had made him worry about her…
‘Just what exactly are my feelings? What am I thinking about?’
Mika felt confused about everything. And then, suddenly, she discovered her true feelings.
She was afraid!
The hidden truth behind her complex feelings was weakness and fear.
On one hand, she was afraid of staying "ordinary:" she feared to remain only as his friend and become increasingly distant from him.
On the other hand, she was afraid of changing: she feared to become "special." She was afraid of the uncertain future.
She was afraid of both "choices." This was due to her own weakness. There was no other reason: it was undeniable that she was weak.
Yes, that was how it was.
‘I… am just such an ordinary girl after all.’
Mika Uehara understood herself now.
In front of Kaede Juumonji, who was also in love with Seiji, but was resolutely moving forward, she felt that she couldn’t compare.
‘Just what should I do, Seiji…?’