“What?”
“This,” he said softly, his eyes boring into mine. “You act like you don’t care, and I know you do. You put on this brave face and say shit like this, and you get ready to push me away rather than find out what’s happening between us. Its like you’re prepared for me to upset you, and are trying to act like you couldn’t care less.”
“Have you met my brothers?” I tried to laugh. “I have to be tough around them, or they’d give me so much shit.”
“Bullshit, Maci.” I opened my mouth, but he stopped me by talking over me. “I know you have to act tough around them. I know you have to act like you don’t give a shit about anything around them. But I’m not them, so why do you do this with me?”
I stayed quiet for so long that he started to ask why again before I said anything. “Because you’ve never cared about me, and all of a sudden you do? It doesn’t make sense. Nothing you ever say to me makes sense. There are the rare days when you defend me against Bryce and take care of me when I’m wasted. But then you call me Mini, you always call me a child or tell me to grow up; last night you came into my apartment yelling at me that you were done with me. Why wouldn’t I be ready for you to hurt me? You’re—” Something in Connor’s blue eyes shut me up. It wasn’t his intensity, which I was so used to, and loved. It was the smallest flash of fear, before his hands were cupping my cheeks.
“I’ve been an ass**le to you, I know that, and I’m sorry. Last night . . . Maci, I was going off no sleep, and this case is really getting to me. I was already beyond frustrated, and feeling defeated when I got home, and then when I saw that flyer . . . I just flipped. It doesn’t excuse it; it’s just what pushed me over the edge yesterday, and I took it out on you. I’m sorry, you have no idea how much I hate the times I’ve yelled at you; but, Maci, I will never hurt you, I need you to know that.”
“You say that now, but you can’t know—”
“No. Maci. I swear to you I will never hurt you.”
We’d gone from a six-month hiatus of even speaking to each other, to pranking each other and pissing each other off, to a night of the most mind-blowing sex I’ve ever had. He couldn’t be that sure of something because of one night. But with the way his blue eyes were pleading with me to understand what he was saying, and believe him . . . I just nodded my head and forced a smile.
“And I know you act like a badass around your brothers, but I’ve seen you cry, Maci. I know you’re not heartless, and I know, from drunken ramblings and what happened last night, that you’re in this just as bad as I am. So stop waiting for me to show you to the door, and stop acting like you don’t care.”
I’d stopped breathing at drunken ramblings. “What did I say to you when I was drunk?” I asked, horrified.
A massive smile crossed his face seconds before he kissed me hard. “Enough for me to know that you want me, and more than enough for me to be pissed off that you were gone the next morning.”
“Connor. What. Did. I—”
We both looked over at his phone on the nightstand, and with a huff, he pushed away from me to grab and answer it.
“Green. . . . When’s she coming in? . . . All right, I’m leaving now.”
Shoving his phone into his pocket, he finished buttoning his shirt and tucked it into his pants before grabbing the tie off the bed.
“Work?”
“Yeah, I need to get down there to interview someone who may have information.”
I waited until he was done with his tie before I started climbing out of his bed; but he just put a hand on my bare shoulder and pushed me back down.
“You can sleep a couple more hours before you have to get up for work. You don’t have to leave.”
“Are you su—”
“Maci,” he said my name low, and hard. “I’m sure. Stay, and stop questioning this, okay?”
“ ’Kay.”
After a slow and firm kiss, he straightened up and smiled widely. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”
I lay there with the biggest smile on my face, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t dreaming until I heard his front door shut. There was no way I could go back to sleep now. I needed to call Amber, and my phone was still in my apartment. After jumping out of Connor’s bed and getting dressed, I ran into my apartment and grabbed my phone.
Less than one minute and five sentences later, I was rushing to put on normal clothes to meet her at our favorite coffee shop before I had to go into work.
I DIDN’T SEE Connor that night or this morning before work due to whatever case he was working on. But he’d texted me two hours after I’d gotten to work this morning letting me know he was on his way home, and was going to crash as soon as he got there.
I was eager to see him; I was still in such a state of disbelief with this that I wanted to be near him to make sure I hadn’t dreamt the entire thing. Even telling Amber yesterday morning, I kept questioning my sanity as I gave her most of the dirty details from the night before with Connor. She’d seemed more excited about it than I was, but, then again, she’d been afraid I would get back with Bryce. So to say she was hoping this night with Connor had snapped me out of my “obviously liquor–induced Bryce phase,” was an understatement.
A loud clap directly next to my ear mixed with Dakota yelling my name caused me to jump and throw my wireless mouse across my office. I noticed my computer had come back to life when I’d moved the mouse, and wondered how long I’d been sitting there daydreaming when I saw a half-finished game of solitaire on the screen.