“Is it true!? How could you!? What happened!?”
“What do you want me to do? How can I help?” Tal asked.
Misch's first thought was “I want you to not be the kind of guy who sleeps with married women”, but then an even heavier wave of guilt crashed over her.
He's the only good part of what's happening, and that's your first thought. You're such a bitch.
“I don't know. I don't know what to do,” she whispered.
“The plan. Remember the plan.”
Break up with Mike. Finish her job. Be with Tal.
“I just feel so bad. I honestly thought it wouldn't feel this bad. I'd already done the deed, how can I feel worse?” she asked.
“Out of sight, out of mind. Mike wasn't part of the equation, till you had to talk to him,” Tal answered.
“God. I have to call him, I have to make sure he's okay,” she wiped at her face and reached for her phone.
“Don't.”
“Tal, I have to. Even if he hates me right now, I still care about him. What's the name of his hotel?” she asked.
“I won't tell you.”
She glared at him.
“You can either tell me, or I will go out and visit every single fucking hotel till I find him.”
He gave her the number and she quickly dialed it, asked for Mike's room. There were a couple rings before anyone picked up.
“Hello.” His voice was low and gravelly, not normal for him.
“Please don't hang up,” she rushed out. There was a heavy silence, and his anger was palpable through the phone.
“Why shouldn't I!? I don't owe you anything,” he snarled.
“I know. I just had to make sure you were okay,” she told him.
“No, I'm not okay! My wife is cheating on me! Nothing will ever be okay again!” he snapped.
“Mike, please. Please. I want to talk with you. Can I come see you?” she pleaded. Tal began violently shaking his head no at the same time Mike responded.
“No. I don't want to see you.”
“Please, Mikey. Sleep on it, and I'll call you in the morning. Please?”
“I'm leaving in the morning. You better find a new place to live before you come home.”
Then he hung up on her.
That's something no one ever tells you when you cheat on your husband and end your marriage – no one will say goodbye anymore.
“I told you not to,” Tal pointed out.
“Shut up. Just shut up!” she snapped.
“Want me to order dinner?” he offered.
“No. I never want to eat again.”
“Stop it.”
“I'm just gonna sleep. Maybe when I wake up, things won't be so bad, and none of this will have happened,” she took deep breaths, clawing her fingers through her hair.
“Stop. It's done, it's over with. Things are going to be shit for a while, but you're here. With me. We have each other,” he reminded her.
“I'm the one going through shit! You're the one who gets a free fuck out of all this!” she yelled at him.
“Hey. You wanna take your anger out on me? Fine. If that's what it takes, fine. Yell at me, call me names, blame it on me. I can do that for you. I can take that for you,” he said simply.
I don't deserve him.
Mischa suddenly leaned into him, pressing her face against his chest. He was surprised for a moment, then his arms went around her, holding her tightly. The guilt was still there, still clawing at her heart, eating her soul. But maybe, just maybe, if he held her long enough, it would fade away.
She had to believe that, or she'd go insane.
It was around five in the morning Italian time when Misch's phone rang again, waking her up. She'd been getting calls all evening, but it was really late in Detroit's time zone. Who would be calling at that hour? She crawled out from under Tal's arm and glanced at the screen.
Dad-a-rino.
“Daddy?” she answered the phone in a hurry.
“Oh, sweetie pea, what have you gotten yourself into?”
At some point, I've got to stop crying, or I'll never be able to open my eyes again.
“I'm so sorry, Dad. Please say you don't hate me, please, please, please,” she cried. Behind her, Tal woke up with a start.
“What's wrong!? Are you okay!?” he asked, struggling with the covers. She waved him away.
“I could never hate you, baby, you're my sunshine. My reason for living. I knew something was up, I just couldn't place it. Now it makes sense. I gotta say, I don't approve of what you did,” her father started. “I wish you hadn't done it. But I understand, baby. I do understand.”
“I'm so sorry, Dad. I'm so, so sorry. I never wanted to disappoint you,” she sobbed, crying so hard it was difficult to talk.
“Well, that's impossible in life, dear. I've disappointed everyone I know at some point. Hell, I even disappointed you a time or two – remember when I forgot you at soccer practice, and you slept in the dugout on the little league field? I still haven't forgotten that.”
Misch laughed. She actually laughed, for what felt like the first time in forever.
“Oh wow, I had kinda forgotten,” she chuckled through her tears.
“See? And you still love me. It's not the end of the world. You're not a bad person, baby, you just made some really bad choices,” he informed her.