‘I fear that will be impossible.’
‘No it won’t!’
‘I must leave. Now. I have stayed too long.’ Elinor has unclasped her handbag and is pulling on a pair of kid gloves. Oh God, now I’ve frightened her away.
‘Look, I know you’ve had difficulties, you two,’ I say cajolingly. ‘But this is the perfect time to mend them. At his party! And when he knows you were behind all this … he’ll love you! He’ll have to love you!’
‘That’s precisely why I cannot go down.’ Her voice sounds so harsh that I flinch – though it might just be because of the dusty air up here. ‘I did not fund this party in order to win Luke’s love in some ostentatious way.’
‘That’s not … I didn’t mean …’
‘I will not go down. I will not join in the festivities. I will not have him knowing that I was any part of tonight. You will never tell him. Never, do you hear me, Rebecca?’
Her eyes flash at me furiously and I recoil in fright. For all the vulnerability, she can still be pretty scary.
‘OK!’ I gulp.
‘There are no conditions attached to tonight. I have done this for Luke.’ She’s looking again through the spyhole. ‘I have done this for Luke,’ she repeats, almost as though to herself.
There’s a long silence. Suze and I are glancing at each other nervously but neither of us dares speak.
‘If I went down, if I were to make myself known as the benefactor, I would have done it for myself.’ She turns and regards me evenly, her eyes giving nothing away. ‘As you said so clearly, an unconditional act does not require reward.’
God, she’s hard on herself. If it were me I’d make up some reason why I could do it all for Luke, be the noble benefactor and go to the party.
‘So … you’ll never tell him?’ I venture. ‘Ever? He’ll never know it was you?’
‘He will never know.’ She looks at Suze dispassionately. ‘Please stand aside so I can leave.’
That’s it? No high fives, group hugs, let’s-do-this-again?
‘Elinor … wait.’ I hold out my arms, but she doesn’t react, so I shuffle towards her in the tiny space, but she still doesn’t seem to know what I’m doing. So at last I wrap my arms gingerly around her bony frame, feeling like Minnie when she randomly hugs a tree in the park.
I can’t quite believe this is happening. I’m hugging Elinor.
Me. Hugging Elinor. Because I want to.
‘Thanks,’ I murmur. ‘For everything.’
Elinor draws away, looking stiffer than ever. She nods briefly to me and Suze, then slips through the wooden door.
‘Will anyone see her?’ I mutter anxiously to Suze, who shakes her head.
‘There’s a back way out. I showed her earlier.’
I lean against the dusty old wall and breathe out heavily. ‘Wow.’
‘I know.’
Our eyes meet through the dimness, and I know Suze is thinking all the same thoughts I am.
‘D’you think he’ll ever know it was her?’
‘Dunno.’ I shake my head. ‘I just … don’t know.’ I glance through the spyhole again. ‘Come on. We’d better go down.’
The party is in full swell downstairs. Guests are milling around everywhere, holding drinks, wearing their silver party hats (we had crackers at dinner), wandering around the midsummer forest and looking at the waterfall, which is now lit up with amazing coloured lights, or gathered around the roulette tables. The catering staff are circulating with tiny little passion-fruit sorbets on individual spoons. Danny’s models are stalking around in their spectacular Midsummer Night’s Dream costumes, looking like they’ve popped in from a magic faraway land. There’s echoing laughter everywhere, and chatter, and the thud-thud of the band reverberating through the floor, and every so often the flash of a laser from the show. I must go and dance again in a minute.
I head towards the cocktail bar, where a bartender flown in especially from New York is entertaining a small crowd with cocktail-shaker tricks. There, to my astonishment, I find Janice and Jess clinking glasses with massive warm, friendly smiles.
What’s going on? I thought they hated each other.
‘Hi!’ I touch Jess’s shoulder. ‘How’s it going? Doesn’t Jess look amazing?’ I add to Janice.
‘Absolutely super!’ agrees Janice. ‘What a wonderful outfit!’
‘It’s a nice dress,’ says Jess, tugging awkwardly at it so the neckline goes crooked. ‘Nice and plain. And the fabric’s sustainable.’