Chapter Seventeen
I expected an argument from Murphy, a demand to get the hell out of Dodge, but as usual he surprised
me.
“Let’s,” he said, and started to get dressed. “Have you seen the bokor?”
“No. They keep saying he’ll arrive when he does.”
“God, that’s annoying,” he muttered, and my lips curved.
Murphy stood, swaying a little. “Whoa. Head rush.”
“I wish I’d brought some food and water.”
“I’ll be fine.”
We stepped out of the hut and I scanned the area. No snake; I guessed we were on our own. I started off in the direction I’d come.
Murphy fell in beside me. I slowed my pace. He was paler than I liked. Several days in the heat without food or water—whether he’d had a fever or not—would make anyone woozy. If he passed out, I wouldn’t be able to drag him.
“Maybe I should go back and bring help,” I said.
“Because the people who left me here, the same ones who told you I didn’t exist, have been so helpful?”
I hated it when he was right.
“Just tell me if you’re faint,” I ordered.
“If I can satisfy a woman, I can certainly walk back to the village.”
“Oh, hell,” I muttered.
We were still in the land that condom forgot, and I’d forgotten one.
“I thought heaven m’self.”
Irish accent. I wasn’t charmed.
“Condom,” I said.
“Hell,” he repeated, and stopped walking.
“Too late.” I tugged on his hand. “Spilled milk.”
“Not milk, more’s the pity.”
England had returned. Poor guy. He looked a little green. I squeezed his fingers. “Timing-wise, we’re
good.”
“When you say ‘good,’ you mean—”
“For getting pregnant.”
He started to hyperventilate.
“Breathe!” I ordered. “I meant for not getting pregnant. We’re good for not getting pregnant.”
He nodded, taking a few more seconds before speaking. “A baby isn’t the only issue. But you shouldn’t worry… I mean, I’ve never done this before.”
I choked on surprised laughter. “You were not a virgin, Murphy. Even you can’t expect me to believe such blarney.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment. I meant, I’d never had sex without a condom before.”
“In your entire life?” I also found that hard to believe.
“I swear.” He held up one hand.
“What got into you tonight?”
“You did.”
“I think it was the other way around.”
“I wasn’t thinking,” he admitted. “And usually I am. I’m sorry.”
I wasn’t, but I didn’t plan on telling him so. We were being adults here, I couldn’t admit that I’d needed him so badly I hadn’t been thinking, either. That was the quickest way to a broken heart, and I didn’t have much heart left to break.
“No harm, no foul,” I quipped.
“Mmm. It’s common courtesy to return the favor, sweet thing.”
“Huh?”
“I tell you my sexual history and then—”
“Oh!” Obviously I was no good at this; my grand total of men in my bed now stood at a whopping two.
“I… uh… haven’t been with anyone since…” My voice trailed off. He could figure it out.
“Your husband,” Murphy said. “What happened to him?”
I started to walk again, fast, any consideration of Murphy’s weakness forgotten. He caught up easily, though, grabbed my arm, and held on tight. “I think I deserve to know, Cassandra.”
He did, but that didn’t mean I had to be nice about telling him.
“Karl betrayed me, got our daughter killed, and is now in prison. May he rot in pieces.”
Murphy kept pace at my side. “What did he do?”
I didn’t want to talk about this. However, I’d just shared my body with this man; why couldn’t I share my past?
“He lied.”
“About what?”
“Who he was, what he did.”
Murphy didn’t answer at first. When I looked up, he looked away. “I don’t understand.”
“Karl was a businessman. I never asked what kind of business. He was successful. We had money—a lot of it. He paid the bills; I ran the house and took care of Sarah.”
My voice wavered and my steps slowed. Murphy took my hand. I’d never have figured him one for comfort, but I’d have figured wrong. I’d figured a lot wrong in my life.
“He wasn’t a businessman?” Murphy rubbed his thumb back and forth across my palm.
“He was the biggest drug dealer on the West Coast.” Murphy’s eyes widened. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it. I guess I just didn’t want to.”
“And Sarah?”
“Karl got in a dispute with a supplier. They took her and they killed her.”
“And then?”
Then I spent a lot of time in a quiet place drugged out of my gourd, but I wasn’t going to mention that.
Instead I skipped ahead several months. “Then the Feds came, and they wanted to know things.”
Murphy frowned. “But you didn’t know anything.”
“Not then. But I found out.”
“How?”
I shuddered, and his fingers tightened. “I pretended to forgive him.”
“And then?” he repeated.
“I learned all I could, then testified and put him away forever.” I hop e.
Prolonged silence made me glance at Murphy. I couldn’t read his expression.
“You’re amazing,” he said.
“Don’t you mean vindictive?”
“I’ll think twice before crossing you.”
Though the words were flippant, his expression wasn’t. I couldn’t say I blamed him for being worried, but what did a guy like Murphy have to hide?
“How did you get involved in voodoo?” he asked.
“I dreamed of a snake, over and over and over again.” At his blank expression, I continued, “Dreaming of a snake, of Danballah, means you’re destined for the priesthood.”
“In Haiti!”
“Actually, anywhere if you’re studying to be a priestess. Danballah is a very powerful loa. My teacher was impressed.”
At first I’d gone through the motions, wanting something from’ my new religion without giving anything back. Believing in voodoo hadn’t been easy for a rich Catholic white girl from the land of sun and surf.
After Danballah had appeared often enough I’d come to believe I was doing the right thing, the only thing that I could do.
“I was lost,” I explained. “Confused, uncertain, alone. I went searching, and I found something to hold on to. I’ll discover a way to bring Sarah back. I know it.”
“Cassandra, that’s insane.”
“Is it? I guess we’ll see.” I took a deep breath. “At the least, I needed a new identity, and Priestess Cassandra was a doozy.”
Murphy shot me a quick glance. “You’re in witness protection?”
“Did I say that?”
Even if I had just taken this man into my body and done things with him I’d never done with anyone else, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about witness protection.
I’d been drilled in the rules. The only way to disappear was to leave my past behind. Of course I wasn’t completely able to do that because of Sarah.
But I could follow every other rule—namely, never tell anyone I was a witness, never share my real name. Not even with the people I dated, not even with my new husband, should I remarry. Since I didn’t plan on doing either, it had been easy to agree to those conditions.