He made it far too tempting to imagine a future where she could be happy again. Whole again, with him.
I'm failing in my promise to my son, she said, forcing herself to draw away from the comfort of Tegan's touch. All I should be concerned about is making sure Camden's death wasn't in vain.
Something flashed in his eyes, only to be shuttered an instant later by the fall of his spiked, wet lashes. He reached behind her and shut off the water. You can't spend your life living for the dead, Elise.
Reaching above her, he grabbed a folded towel from the supply stacked on a high shelf built into the marble of the shower. When he passed the towel to her, Elise met his gaze. The hauntedness reflecting there took her aback.
There was a bleakness staring back at her. The pain of an old wound, not yet healed.
She'd never noticed it before...because he'd never allowed her to see it.
You blame yourself for what happened to your mate, don't you? He stared at her for a long, quiet minute, and she was certain he would give her an aloof denial. But then he exhaled a hushed curse, ran his fingers through the wet hair at his scalp. I couldn't save her. She depended on me to keep her safe, but I failed her.
Elise's heart stumbled a beat in her chest. You must have loved her very much.
Sorcha was a sweet girl, the most innocent person I've ever known. She didn't deserve the death she was given.
Elise wrapped the towel around herself as Tegan sat down on the marble bench that ran the length of the shower stall. His thighs were spread, his elbows resting on his knees.
What happened, Tegan?
After her abduction, some two weeks later, her captors sent her back to me. She'd been raped, tortured. As if that hadn't been cruel enough, whoever held her also fed on her. She came back to me a Minion of the one who brutalized her.
Oh, God. Tegan.
Sending her back like that was worse than killing her, but I guess they left that task to me. I couldn't do it. In my heart, I knew she was gone, but I couldn't end her life.
Of course not, she assured him gently, her heart breaking for him.
Elise closed her eyes on a softly whispered prayer as she eased down onto the bench next to him. She didn't care if he rejected her compassion; she needed to be close to him. He had to know that he wasn't alone.
When she put her hand on his bare shoulder, he didn't flinch away. He pivoted his head to the side, meeting her sympathetic gaze. I tried to make her better. I thought if I drew enough of her blood away and gave her my own in return-- if I could feed her from my veins and siphon off the poison in hers--maybe by some miracle she'd revive. So, I fed to feed her. I went on a blood rampage that lasted for weeks. I had no control. I was so consumed by guilt and the need to make Sorcha better that I didn't even notice how quickly I was slipping toward Bloodlust.
But you didn't slip, did you? I mean, you must not have, to be sitting here now.
He laughed sharply, a coarse, bitter sound. Oh, I slipped all right. I fell, like all addicts do. Bloodlust would have turned me Rogue if it hadn't been for Lucan. He stepped in, and put me in a stone cell to wait the disease out. For several months, I nearly starved, feeding in only the smallest quantities needed to keep me breathing. Most of those days, I prayed for death.
But you survived.
Yeah.
And Sorcha?
He shook his head. Lucan did for her what I wasn't man enough to do. He freed her from her suffering.
Elise's heart lurched with understanding. He killed her?
It was an act of mercy, Tegan answered tightly. Even though I hated him for it all these past five hundred years since. In the end, Lucan showed her far more compassion than I was able to. I would have kept her alive only to save myself from suffering the guilt of her death.
Elise smoothed her palm over Tegan's strong back, moved by his confession and by the love that had been taken from him so long ago. She had thought him cold and unfeeling, but it was only because he hid his emotions well. His wounds went deeper than she could ever have guessed. I'm sorry for everything you've been through, Tegan. I understand now. I understand...so much now.
Do you?
The bleak, narrowed gaze that met her eyes was penetrating in its intensity.
When I saw you downstairs, covered in blood-- He broke off abruptly, as if unable to form the words. Ah, fuck...I never wanted to feel that kind of fear and pain again, do you understand? I didn't want to let myself get that close to anyone again.
Elise looked at him in silence, hearing his words, yet uncertain he could actually mean them. Did he really mean to say that he cared for her?
His fingers were a feather-light brush against the dull throb of her bruised cheek. I do care, he said, a quiet reply in answer to the question he'd read with his touch. He brought her under the shelter of his arm, just holding her, his thumb idly stroking her arm. With you, I think it would be very easy to care too much, Elise. I'm not sure that's a risk I can afford to take.
You can't...or you won't?
There's no difference. Just semantics.
Elise leaned her head against his shoulder. She didn't want to hear this now. Didn't want to let him go. So, where does that leave us now? Where do we go from here, Tegan?
He didn't say anything one way or the other, just held her close and pressed a tender kiss to her brow.
Chapter Twenty-five
The rest of that day passed in a blur of tactics and information gathering. At sundown, Reichen had sent a couple of his associates out to Irina Odolf 's residence. The report had come back that the Minion was gone, evidently on his own motor, even though Elise had certainly slowed the bastard down based on the amount of blood he'd left at the scene.
Armed with her description of him, Reichen was already in town looking for possible leads. Tegan hoped like hell they located the Minion son of a bitch because he was looking forward to finishing what Elise had started.
As for her, as much as Tegan might have liked to have kept Elise in his arms--or, better still, naked in his bed--he knew it was a path that would only lead him deeper into complicated territory. Instead, he had turned his attention to the journal they'd intercepted from Marek, and the stash of letters Elise had recovered from Petrov Odolf 's belongings.
Both contained instances of the same peculiar phrases:
castle and croft shall come
together under the crescent moon
to the borderlands east turn
your eye
at the cross lies truth
It was a riddle of some sort, but what it meant--if it meant anything at all--remained to be seen.Petrov Odolf didn't seem to understand it either, despite the fact that his Breedmate said he'd been scribbling those very words compulsively in the time leading up to his turning Rogue. Like his brother before him had as well.
And like who it was that once owned the old journal with Dragos's dermaglyphic symbol scribbled onto its pages.
Now Tegan stood across the containment cell from Petrov Odolf, eyeing the restrained Rogue with precious little patience. He and Elise had been at the facility for the past hour, getting exactly nowhere in their continued round of questioning with Odolf.
His medication had been reduced, so at least the Rogue was conscious, but he was far from lucid. Strapped into a free-standing, vertical steel- mesh body cage, his muscular arms bound down at his sides, feet shackled together, Petrov Odolf looked every bit the dangerous beast he was. His big head sagged down on his chest, glowing amber eyes shifting back and forth across the cell without focus. He snorted and grunted through his elongated fangs, then began another round of futile struggle against his restraints.
Tell us what it means, Tegan said, talking over the racket of clanging metal and mindless animal snuffling. Why were you and your brother both writing these phrases?
Odolf didn't answer, just kept fighting his bonds.
Castle and croft shall come together under the crescent moon,' Tegan recited. To the borderlands east turn your eye.' Is this a location? What does it mean to you, Odolf? What did it mean to your brother? Does the name Dragos mean anything to you?
The Rogue shook and strained until his face looked like it was going to explode. He tossed his head back and forth, snarling furiously. Tegan blew out a frustrated sigh and turned to face Elise. This is a fucking waste of time. He's not going to be any use to us.
Let me try, she said.
When she moved forward, Tegan didn't miss the fact that Odolf 's feral gaze tracked her across the room. The Rogue's nostrils flared as his blood-addicted body worked to get her scent.
Don't go near him, Tegan warned her, regretting the fact that he'd promised Elise he wouldn't use his weapons on the Rogue except as a last resort. His first line of attack was an emergency syringe of sedative given to him by Director Kuhn. That's far enough, Elise.
She paused several feet away from the Rogue. When she spoke, her voice was soft with patience and compassion.
Hello, Petrov. My name is Elise.
Elliptical pupils narrowed even farther in the center of Odolf 's amber eyes. He was still panting from exertion, but some of his struggling eased as his focus locked on to Elise.
I met Irina. She's very nice. And she loves you very much. She told me how much you mean to her, Petrov.
Odolf went still in his tight cage. Elise took a step closer. Tegan growled a warning, and although she stopped, she didn't acknowledge his concern.
Irina's worried about you.
Not safe, Odolf murmured, almost imperceptibly.
What's not safe? Elise asked gently. Is Irina not safe?
Nobody's safe. The big head shook back and forth as if caught in a seizure. When it passed, Odolf peeled his lips back off his huge fangs and dragged in a deep breath of air. At the cross lies truth, he muttered on the exhale. Turn your eye...turn your eye.
What does it mean, Petrov? Elise read the entire passage back to him. Can you explain it to us? Where did you hear this? Did you read it somewhere?
Castle and croft shall come together,' he repeated. To the borderlands east, turn your eye...'
Elise moved forward another half-pace. We're trying to understand, Petrov. Tell us what you know. It could be very important.
He grunted, his head going back on his shoulders, tendons stretching tight in his neck. Castle and croft shall come together under the crescent moon...To the borderlands east turn your eye...At the cross lies truth.'
Petrov, please, Elise said. We need you to help us. Why isn't it safe? Why do you think nobody is safe?
But the Rogue wasn't hearing her now. With his eyes squeezed shut, head tipped back, he whispered the nonsensical phrases over and over again, a rapid, breathless stream of insanity.
Elise glanced back at Tegan. Maybe you're right. Maybe this is a waste of time.
He was about to agree when Odolf suddenly began to snicker. His mouth spread wide, he dropped his head down and started whispering in a voice so small Tegan could barely hear it. He caught bits and pieces of the riddle, then Odolf blinked and it was as if a crystal clarity settled in his mind.
In a completely rational, coherent voice, he said: That's where he's hiding.
Tegan's blood ran cold. What did you say? That's where who's hiding--Marek? Hiding away. Odolf chuckled, already slipping back into his madness. Hiding, hiding...at the cross lies truth.'
Once again, Tegan considered the glyph they'd found in the journal. The Breed line it belonged to was long extinct. But then again, maybe Marek wasn't the only one to come back from what had been merely a presumed death. Is this about Dragos? Is he alive?
Odolf shook his head, eyes falling serenely closed. He launched into another chorus of the riddle, murmuring it in a maddening, singsong voice.
Goddamn it! Tegan growled, stalking right up next to the cage. Is Dragos in hiding somewhere? Are he and Marek allied in some way? Have they been plotting something together?
Odolf kept chanting, unresponsive now. Not even when Tegan grabbed hold of the metal box he was in and gave it a hard shake did Odolf show any indication of awareness. The Rogue had mentally checked out.
Shit. Tegan raked a hand through his hair. In his coat pocket, his cell phone vibrated with an incoming call. He flipped it open and barked into the receiver: Yeah.
Any progress? It was Reichen.
Not much.
Behind him in the cage, Petrov Odolf was snapping at the air, growling and cursing. No point in lingering any longer. Tegan gestured for Elise to follow him out of the Rogue's holding cell and into the adjacent observation room.
We're just wrapping up, he told Reichen. Did you get anything on the Minion?
Yes, we have something. I'm at Aphrodite with Helene. She's seen the man in here before once or twice. Had some trouble with him, in fact. Reichen cleared his throat, hesitating. He, ah, apparently works for a blood club here in the city, Tegan. Probably supplies women for it.
Jesus. He looked at Elise, his veins going tight at the thought of her being anywhere near trafficking scum like that. Blood clubs among the Breed, while illegal, had once been the preferred entertainment of a certain class of vampire. They catered to the bored and affluent, and those with appetites that tended to run toward the cruel. Any idea where I might find this place?
Naturally, to avoid unwanted attention, the clubs seldom meet in the same location. Helene has already put out feelers for you. She'll probably have something back within the hour.
I'm on the way now.
What's going on? Elise asked as he snapped the cell phone closed and slid it back into his coat.
I have to meet one of Reichen's contacts in the city. She has some intel on the Minion who attacked you today.
Elise's fine brow arched. She?
Helene, Tegan said. She's a human friend of Reichen's. You saw her last night when we picked him up outside her club, Aphrodite.
Elise's look said she remembered very well the half-naked woman who walked Reichen to the curb. All right, then, she said with a quick nod. Let's go talk to her.