"I think I had a perfect right to speak on a subject which concerns me
at least as much as you."
"Clearly--you had a right to speak, but only to me. You had no right
to contradict my orders secretly, and treat me as if I were a fool,"
said Lydgate, in the same tone as before. Then with some added scorn,
"Is it possible to make you understand what the consequences will be?
Is it of any use for me to tell you again why we must try to part with
the house?"
"It is not necessary for you to tell me again," said Rosamond, in a
voice that fell and trickled like cold water-drops. "I remembered what
you said. You spoke just as violently as you do now. But that does
not alter my opinion that you ought to try every other means rather
than take a step which is so painful to me. And as to advertising the
house, I think it would be perfectly degrading to you."
"And suppose I disregard your opinion as you disregard mine?"
"You can do so, of course. But I think you ought to have told me
before we were married that you would place me in the worst position,
rather than give up your own will."
Lydgate did not speak, but tossed his head on one side, and twitched
the corners of his mouth in despair. Rosamond, seeing that he was not
looking at her, rose and set his cup of coffee before him; but he took
no notice of it, and went on with an inward drama and argument,
occasionally moving in his seat, resting one arm on the table, and
rubbing his hand against his hair. There was a conflux of emotions and
thoughts in him that would not let him either give thorough way to his
anger or persevere with simple rigidity of resolve. Rosamond took
advantage of his silence.
"When we were married everyone felt that your position was very high.
I could not have imagined then that you would want to sell our
furniture, and take a house in Bride Street, where the rooms are like
cages. If we are to live in that way let us at least leave
Middlemarch."
"These would be very strong considerations," said Lydgate, half
ironically--still there was a withered paleness about his lips as he
looked at his coffee, and did not drink--"these would be very strong
considerations if I did not happen to be in debt."
"Many persons must have been in debt in the same way, but if they are
respectable, people trust them. I am sure I have heard papa say that
the Torbits were in debt, and they went on very well. It cannot be
good to act rashly," said Rosamond, with serene wisdom.