Thus Stone Court continually saw one or other blood-relation alighting

or departing, and Mary Garth had the unpleasant task of carrying their

messages to Mr. Featherstone, who would see none of them, and sent her

down with the still more unpleasant task of telling them so. As

manager of the household she felt bound to ask them in good provincial

fashion to stay and eat; but she chose to consult Mrs. Vincy on the

point of extra down-stairs consumption now that Mr. Featherstone was

laid up.

"Oh, my dear, you must do things handsomely where there's last illness

and a property. God knows, I don't grudge them every ham in the

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house--only, save the best for the funeral. Have some stuffed veal

always, and a fine cheese in cut. You must expect to keep open house

in these last illnesses," said liberal Mrs. Vincy, once more of

cheerful note and bright plumage.

But some of the visitors alighted and did not depart after the handsome

treating to veal and ham. Brother Jonah, for example (there are such

unpleasant people in most families; perhaps even in the highest

aristocracy there are Brobdingnag specimens, gigantically in debt and

bloated at greater expense)--Brother Jonah, I say, having come down in

the world, was mainly supported by a calling which he was modest enough

not to boast of, though it was much better than swindling either on

exchange or turf, but which did not require his presence at Brassing so

long as he had a good corner to sit in and a supply of food. He chose

the kitchen-corner, partly because he liked it best, and partly because

he did not want to sit with Solomon, concerning whom he had a strong

brotherly opinion. Seated in a famous arm-chair and in his best suit,

constantly within sight of good cheer, he had a comfortable

consciousness of being on the premises, mingled with fleeting

suggestions of Sunday and the bar at the Green Man; and he informed

Mary Garth that he should not go out of reach of his brother Peter

while that poor fellow was above ground. The troublesome ones in a

family are usually either the wits or the idiots. Jonah was the wit

among the Featherstones, and joked with the maid-servants when they

came about the hearth, but seemed to consider Miss Garth a suspicious

character, and followed her with cold eyes.

Mary would have borne this one pair of eyes with comparative ease, but

unfortunately there was young Cranch, who, having come all the way from

the Chalky Flats to represent his mother and watch his uncle Jonah,

also felt it his duty to stay and to sit chiefly in the kitchen to give

his uncle company. Young Cranch was not exactly the balancing point

between the wit and the idiot,--verging slightly towards the latter

type, and squinting so as to leave everything in doubt about his

sentiments except that they were not of a forcible character. When

Mary Garth entered the kitchen and Mr. Jonah Featherstone began to

follow her with his cold detective eyes, young Cranch turning his head

in the same direction seemed to insist on it that she should remark how

he was squinting, as if he did it with design, like the gypsies when

Borrow read the New Testament to them. This was rather too much for

poor Mary; sometimes it made her bilious, sometimes it upset her

gravity. One day that she had an opportunity she could not resist

describing the kitchen scene to Fred, who would not be hindered from

immediately going to see it, affecting simply to pass through. But no

sooner did he face the four eyes than he had to rush through the

nearest door which happened to lead to the dairy, and there under the

high roof and among the pans he gave way to laughter which made a

hollow resonance perfectly audible in the kitchen. He fled by another

doorway, but Mr. Jonah, who had not before seen Fred's white

complexion, long legs, and pinched delicacy of face, prepared many

sarcasms in which these points of appearance were wittily combined with

the lowest moral attributes.




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