“Why the funny look?” I questioned curiously.
“I don’t know. I’ve never talked about my stars with anyone else before. I know most people could really give two shits about the ball of gasses that just seem to hang out in the night’s sky.” I loved the way he called them his stars, showing his passion and possessiveness.
For the first time since I had met him, Ash had a look of vulnerability on his face. I could tell talking about this aspect of his life made him uncomfortable and I wondered why. Running through possible explanations in my head, my best guess was that his parents didn’t approve of his career choice.
“I think it’s fascinating and anytime you want to ramble on to me about your celestial girlfriends, I would love to learn more about them.” I teased.
“Okay, well don’t say I didn’t you warn you the next time I spend an hour explaining to you about how interesting plotting the movement of a meteor is okay?” His dimpled smile was warm and inviting, and again I had to refrain from touching or kissing him.
I quickly changed the subject, hoping to deter my non-friendlike thoughts. “Why do you call me Butterfly even though you know I hate nicknames?”
“Well, first, I could give two shits if you like my nickname for you or not.” He teased with a big goofy grin. But then Ash’s smile turned more heartfelt as his aquatic eyes looked sincerely into mine. “There could not be a better portrayal of you, Scarlett, than a butterfly. Butterflies symbolize various things across different cultures; however, the most common association is that of metamorphosis, or a time of transformation and change. Scarlett, you know better than anyone and like we’ve talked about, this is your time of metamorphosis. You are finally breaking free of that tight chrysalis that your parents had you so tightly wrapped in and spreading your wings to fly. I know it sounds so cliché, but in your case, it could not be more true.
“Other symbolic meanings for the butterfly include beauty, tenderness, appreciation, tranquility, and peace. All of these are words that describe you and the aura that surrounds you.” Was this guy for real? Friends, huh?
“Wow, that was kind of deep,” was the first thing I could come up with to say. Then I pulled myself together from the semi-melted state his intoxicating voice had left me in and I continued, “I am very impressed by your expansive knowledge of butterfly symbolism. You have been one surprise after another tonight, Mr. Walker.”
“Is that so, Miss MacGregor? I hope they have all been pleasant surprises.” He over exaggerated an eyebrow waggle and I hit him in his arm to stop, but my laughter just encouraged him more.
“So what was that other name you called me last weekend?” I asked breaking up our game of making funny faces at each other. Ash gave me a questioning look as if he really didn’t know what I was referring to.
“Psyche or something like that?” I offered hoping he would know what I was talking about and immediately, he broke our gaze and looked down at our hands, still clasped together between us. He was blushing and I loved it - for once I had either embarrassed him or at least made him uncomfortable.
“I didn’t remember saying that out loud,” he confessed and then stood silently.
“Sooo… are you going to tell me now? Or am I going to have to tickle it out of you?” I tried to joke in hopes it would relieve his uneasiness a bit.
He took a deep breath and began. “I know this is going to sound unbelievable cheesy…”
“Oh, come on… I’m a girl, I like cheesy,” I assured him.
“Okay, the story of Eros and Psyche is a Greek myth that carried over to the Roman mythology as well, where it was told as Cupid and Psyche; some people claim it’s the world’s first fairy tale. It’s actually one of my favorite of all the myths. You should look it up and read it sometime, I think you would enjoy it. It’s a tale of undying eternal love and the many hurdles and obstacles that Eros and Psyche had to overcome to find their happily ever after.” He returned his eyes to mine and I was completely spellbound. He continued, “Psyche is the term the Greeks use for butterflies, but the name Psyche in Greek literally means soul. Thus the butterfly, based on this epic love story, is commonly used to depict the immortality of the human soul.
“Psyche is often portrayed in drawings and sculptures as beautiful human girl with butterfly wings. So obviously…” The crimson color darkened in his cheeks again, “when I first thought of how similar you are to a butterfly, both physically and emotionally, I envisioned you as Psyche.” His eyes dropped to his lap and a small embarrassed smile played on his full lips.
Dumbfounded by the entire conversation, the only thing that came to my head to say was, “Well, obviously.”
Ash lifted his eyes back to mine and the small embarrassed smile turned into a wide mischievous grin. “Are you making fun of me?”
I shook my head no but as he quickly moved from his sitting position on the bed up unto his knees, I knew I was in trouble. Seconds later, it was like a replay of the last time I was on Ash’s bed and I was pinned on my back as he tickled me relentlessly.
“You know, either you are making fun of me or you’re lying about not doing it… either way, you’re in big trouble and need to be punished.” His words were playful and lighthearted, but when he said the word punished, my body stiffened as images of handcuffs and riding crops fluttered through my head. I really needed to have sex… soon. I tried to recover quickly, hoping he didn’t notice my reaction, but I wasn’t so lucky.
He stopped tickling me and his voice softened, “I’m sorry if I said something that upset you.” I was still lying flat on my back and he still had both of my hands pinned above my head with one of his. His face hovered over mine and he looked into my eyes for answers. “Did your parents used to hit you?” His voice was soft and his eyes were filled with genuine concern.
“What?” I looked at him as if he had grown a second head. Where in the world did that come from? “Uh, no. They’ve actually never hit me in my life, spanking or otherwise. Why did you ask me that?”
“Well, when I said something about you being punished you froze like you were scared or something… I don’t know, I just thought since your parents are all controlling and shit…”
Now it was my turn to be mortified. I wasn’t quite sure how to explain why I reacted that way, or if I even should. There he was concerned that I had been abused as a child while I was fantasizing about a hidden red room of pain.
“Why are you blushing?” Ash asked, his face turned curious. “What is it?”
“It’s nothing. Can we just drop it?” I pleaded. But of course he wouldn’t let it go. After continuous badgering, I finally admitted, “Look, when you said you would punish me, the image of you spanking me ran through my head and I…” I stopped talking when he released my hands and rolled away from me on the bed.
Ash faced the opposite direction so that I was staring at his bare back as his legs swung down to the floor. “You can’t say things like that Scarlett,” he whispered in a raspy voice. “It’s hard enough as it is to be around you and not touch you.”
“I know. I’m sorry. But the next time I don’t want to tell you something, don’t force me to. I don’t want to lie to you.” I replied. He just continued to sit there facing away from me so I moved to get off the bed. “I just need to get laid soon,” I mumbled to myself under my breath. Ash shot off the bed and around the room to where he was standing directly in front of me.
“What did you just say?” He growled in a low voice. He leaned in towards me so that his face was close to mine. His eyes were an angry dark ocean blue. Why in the world was he so mad?
Pissed off by his angry tone, I repeated what I said in my best bitchy voice. “I said that I need to get laid. Not that it’s any of your business.” Ash closed his eyes and pressed his lips together as if he was keeping himself from saying something we would regret.
“Scarlett,” he began. “You’re right, this isn’t any of my business. But as your friend, I would like to give you some advice. You can take it or leave it, either way we are still friends, okay?” I nodded at him.
“Please don’t just sleep with any guy that you meet. At least make it special, you know, at least have feelings for him…” Ash put his finger under my chin and lifted my face to his. “Can you do that for me, butterfly?” Even though his touch and his words made me feel like putty inside, I knew that I could not fall under his spell again. I wasn’t going to set myself up to feel hurt every Sunday morning.
“I’m not making any promises in the event of any crazy drunken nights, but I’ll try real hard not to while sober,” I said half-joking and in an attempt to lighten the mood. “And can we please change the subject?”
“Actually, its 4:30 in the morning and we need to get some sleep.” He grinned down at me obviously wanting to move past the awkward moment as well. However, instead of sleeping in his bed and risking another lecture by Evie, I told him that I was going to sneak back into Jess’ bed and hope neither of them missed me being gone. He appeared to be a bit disappointed at first, which of course made me silently happy, but we both knew that it was best that we didn’t lie down together.
He pulled me into a big hug and held me close for quite some time. I tried so hard not to think about ripping his clothes off and exploring each and every inch of his body. Being pressed against his hard chest, engulfed in his heavenly man scent, and having his arms wrapped around my waist was nearly my undoing. He kissed the top of my head tenderly and whispered ever so softly, “Good night sweet Psyche, my beautiful butterfly.”
“Good night, Ash.” I had never felt so happy.
Chapter 14
As soon as we got in Evie’s car the following morning, I knew something was off. I could feel her anxiety, but I had no idea what had her so worked up. She had seemed fine inside the house.
“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong or are you just going to huff and puff in misery alone over there?” I asked her. “Is it something with Anthony?”
“Anthony? Uh no… there’s nothing with him one way or another. He was for the contest purposes only, so not my type.” Evie scrunched her nose like something smelled bad.
“You’re so bad, you had that poor boy following you around like a puppy last night.”
Evie shrugged her shoulders, “Which is exactly why he didn’t do it for me… Anyways, that’s not it.
“Look Sam, I’m only going to say this one time because I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t.” She turned and looked at me. I guess my sneaking back in bed wasn’t as stealth as I had thought. “I don’t think that Ash is the right guy for you, at least not right now. I wish you would reconsider getting involved with him because I’m afraid you’re going to get hurt. I know that you are going to do whatever you want to do, whatever feels right for you… and that’s important too. You now get to make these decisions for yourself, but just remember, you’ll have to deal with the consequences too.”