From the look of things, we had just arrived. The docks were a mess. People were trying to get onto the ships. Men and women with weapons were making the refugees leave things: wagons and animals, mostly. Children screamed for their pets. Adults argued and shouted at the guards, who told them there wasn’t enough room. The animals just looked confused. Rosethorn, Myrrhtide, Azaze, Oswin, and the other village leaders were trying to get people aboard the vessels. Tahar was aboard one small ship. I could see her seated by the rail, grim-faced. Jayat was still on the dock, helping Azaze.
Nory was right beside me. She hung on to my knee so tight it hurt. She’d already pulled me half out of the saddle.
“Stop that!” I smacked at her, or tried to. My arm was too numb to work. “What’s the matter? Why aren’t you helping?”
She glared at me. She had pulled me down so far our eyes were on the same level. One more tug and I’d be hanging off the saddle. “Awake, are you? I’m here because I wanted to be around when you opened your eyes.”
“Why?” I asked.
“So I could do this.”
Even if I could have moved, I wouldn’t have been fast enough to escape the hard slap she landed on my cheek. Then she slapped me again. She was crying. “While you were playing mage, Meryem decided you would like her again if she gave you a pretty rock she left at home. She went back. I’m not allowed to find her. I’m needed to look after the others. So she’s dead in all these shakes, or she’s hurt, or she’s going to starve. All because you’re a pig who’s mean to little girls!”
Then she punched me in the eye and walked off.
Meryem. Meryem had gone back to Oswin’s house. And the volcano was going to come through the ocean floor only three miles out. That wasn’t good enough if a small girl was left on the island. She would be out there while ash and rock bombs fell and set the forests afire.
21
Panic
I was struggling to get free of my ropes when I heard Rosethorn say, “Hold still, Evvy.” My ropes were hemp, of course. At Rosethorn’s command, they came untied. Azaze caught me before I fell off Spark.
“Oswin isn’t to know one of his children is missing,” Azaze told me quietly. “Understand, girl? We can’t go back for her, and Oswin has twelve others who need him. It’s a sorrowful thing but true. In the rush he won’t be able to count them. Not a word, or I swear, you’ll travel in the bilge—or not at all.”
“She won’t talk. Evvy understands reality.” Rosethorn looked as bleak as slate. “We have been here before, haven’t we, Evvy?”
I nodded and sat on the ground. Puffs of ash rose around me. We had been here before. I hadn’t wanted to be in this position ever again.
“We’ve work to do. Try to get yourself moving, girl.” Azaze bustled off.
“Myrrhtide put our packs on that ship over there, the Brown Gull. Try to be aboard when the captain weighs anchor. For now, when you can walk, start helping to get some of these people seen to.” Rosethorn looked at me. “Did you do it, at least? Lead them away?”
“I don’t know.” My voice cracked. Rosethorn passed a water bottle to me. I think I drank half of it. I sounded better when I spoke again. “I got them away, but only three miles out. I was exhausted. I couldn’t drag them any farther. They got bored. They’re trying to smash their way through the ocean floor.” I hung my head. “Maybe they’ll stay there, or move on. Or maybe they’ll come back, to the places they know.”
Rosethorn rested her hand on my head. “Evvy, you were foolish to take on volcanoes in the first place. It was like wrestling Luvo.”
I was going to cry, I just knew it. “Rosethorn, it’s my fault Meryem ran away. I said mean things to her.”
“I know. She told Nory, who told me.” Rosethorn’s voice was quiet. If she condemned me, I didn’t hear it. I couldn’t look at her, so I couldn’t see it in her face if she felt that way.
“If she dies here, it’ll be my fault,” I said.
“And you will have to learn to live with that, Evvy,” Rosethorn told me. “I never said the first steps on the road to becoming a destroyer wouldn’t hurt. I would imagine it would bother you less, over time.”
I broke down and cried, then. Rosethorn sighed. “Perhaps that was hard. I am, sometimes. But Evvy, six-year-olds are tender plants. The slightest frost kills them. I cannot blame you, not really. In the years when you should have learned to be with people, you were scrabbling to survive all alone. But you haven’t learned to go easy with the defenseless, something I’d hoped Briar and I would have taught you by now. I can only pray you will remember this, and not get worse. Oh, Mila save us—I have to go break that up. Come help me when you can.” She strode off along one of the docks. Two men were fighting over a bag of something. It ripped in two. The seed in it sprouted and fell to the dock as living plants.
“Now you have nothing to quarrel about!” Rosethorn informed them angrily. “Get on that ship!”
I massaged my cramped leg muscles, trying to get my body moving. Ash drifted onto everything from the crack that had opened on Mount Grace. It lay in a light powder over people’s faces, the animals, the ships. It made me sneeze constantly.
“Do you need a hand up?” Oswin had come over. He helped me to my feet. “Listen, Evvy, don’t blame yourself about Meryem. I should have kept an eye on her.” His face was pale and strained. “I knew what had happened. When Meryem’s upset, she heads for home.”