‘Did … I was going to ask if you fancied a drink tonight, but obviously that’s daft, don’t listen to me. I’m just being stupid because I should have told my friends – and I have loads of friends actually—’
‘I’m glad to hear it,’ interjected Austin.
‘—well, anyway, it doesn’t matter. Never mind.’
Issy glared at her lap, miserably.
‘OK,’ said Austin. ‘Actually, I’d have loved to. I have something on tonight though.’
‘Oh,’ said Issy, not looking up.
They fell silent. Issy was too humiliated – what on earth was she thinking? Was she asking her banking adviser for a drink? After he’d already made it clear he wasn’t interested? And now, as if to rub it in even more, he’d just turned her down, and now they’d have to work together for ages and he’d think she totally fancied him. Great. This was turning into a super day. Best birthday ever.
‘Well, I’d better get on,’ said Issy quietly.
‘OK,’ said Austin. Then they both awkwardly stood up at the same time and turned to cross the road.
‘Uh, bye,’ said Issy.
‘Bye,’ said Austin. Then in a clumsy gesture he raised his arms as if to kiss her on the cheek, and Issy leaned in, equally clumsily, before she thought that maybe that wasn’t what Austin was doing at all and tried to lean back again. But it was too late and Austin had realized that Issy seemed to be moving in for one of those social kisses he found so absolutely awkward, so he tried to do what was expected of him and leaned in to kiss her cheek, just as she dodged round to reverse and accidentally got the side of her mouth by mistake.
Issy leapt back, pasting a broad fake smile on her face to cover her consternation, while Austin couldn’t help his hand, briefly, flying to his mouth.
‘Bye!’ said Issy brightly again, feeling her face as hot as the sun – and, just momentarily, and tantalizingly, the feel of his surprisingly soft lips against hers.
Austin was even more distracted than usual that morning in his late meeting. God, this girl.
Issy didn’t go shopping in the end. Instead, she bought a cream cheese and smoked salmon bagel, and a tiny bottle of champagne with a straw – which might be a bit off for mid-morning, she figured, but she didn’t really care – and a magazine, and went to sit in the sunny park. She tried to enjoy the yells of other people’s happy children throwing bread to the ducks, and the slightly jolty, unnerved sense she got whenever she thought of Austin’s accidental near-kiss.
Lots of friends were sending remote regards via Facebook which, while she realized it wasn’t exactly as good as everyone coming to celebrate her birthday, was better than nothing, and made her phone ping cheerily every time another one came through. After the bagel, she bought an ice cream too, and lay down and looked at the clouds for a bit and reflected that truly, from last year to this, she had come a long way, she really had. So she must stop being so grumpy and be more positive and … nope. It didn’t help. She felt queasy from the champagne and, suddenly, in the midst of the bustling park and the noisy people, terribly lonely.
‘Cheer up, love,’ said one of Kate’s builders.
Issy turned to Pearl. She was back in the shop; she’d sent Caroline away again, noticing that Caroline had been telling Pearl a convoluted story, punctuated by customers, about her holiday in the Dominican Republic, which Issy could tell Caroline thought in some completely mad way would impress and endear her to Pearl and it was doing neither of those two things.
‘Nine,’ Issy said.
‘Nine what?’ asked the builder, who was already slurping the Smarties off his cinnamon cupcake. ‘Mm, these are great.’
‘Nine times someone has come in and said, “Cheer up, love.”’
‘And three “It might never happens”,’ added Pearl helpfully.
Issy glanced round the café. It was bustling nicely; she’d spontaneously bought a bunch of lilies on her way back from the park to cheer herself up, and the scent was permeating through the room; with the windows thrown open and the door held wide (totally against fire regulations, Pearl had pointed out, but they had had so very little summertime), the café felt fresh and summery, filled with the chink of china and the sounds of conviviality. She’d introduced some new floral plates too, to set off the lighter lemon and orange sponges with the candied peel on top that sold so well during the warmer days, and they looked absolutely beautiful. The two students who’d spent the wet spring finishing up their theses off the free wifi were, she noticed, cuddled up together, alternately typing and kissing. She suspected they were sharing more than the wifi now. Well, it was nice that at least some people weren’t lonely on her birthday, she thought mournfully.
‘What’s up then?’ asked the builder, taking a slow sip from his cappuccino. Issy bit her lip. Kate was going to have her guts for garters. She’d actually asked Caroline ‘as a friend’ to stop serving them cappuccino. Caroline had explained that on a cost/benefit analysis, no marketing expert worth their salt would ever run a business on that basis and Kate had lost her temper and told her that before she’d given up her entire life to care for two ungrateful individual children, she’d had an MBA, thank you very much, and didn’t need a lecture from some ex-wife, and Issy had to step in before Kate took her sewing circle somewhere else and she lost some much-needed income. She too, however, took Caroline’s approach and would serve anyone who walked in the door, whatever someone else thought they should have been doing.
‘Lost a tenner and found a fiver?’ went on the builder.
‘Actually my entire immediate family has just died,’ said Issy, more waspishly than usual. But really, it was such an annoying thing for people to say. The builder looked wounded.
‘Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean it,’ said Issy. ‘It’s just – it’s my birthday today. And I’m single, and my friends are away and I’m feeling a bit lonely, that’s all.’
‘Yeah?’ said the builder, who was about twenty-eight and had a cute cheeky look about him. ‘You can come out with me and the lads if you like. We’re off for a bit of a bevvy.’
Issy quickly restrained herself from saying, ‘On a Thursday? Kate will be furious,’ and merely smiled.