“Matt!” Paul yells. The room goes quiet, and Matt spins around with Emily still over his shoulder to face Paul. “Put her down before you hurt her,” he says calmly but forcefully.
Logan takes Emily from Matt and lowers her to her feet. “Sorry,” Emily says sheepishly.
“What’s wrong?” Matt asks. He’s suddenly serious, despite the icing that’s all over his face. Reagan is wearing some, too, and they all look ridiculous. “Did I hurt you?” he asks Emily.
Emily hangs her head a little and then looks up at Logan like she’s asking for permission. She signs and talks to him at the same time. “Should we tell them?” she asks. But she’s grinning. Logan smiles, too, and nods.
Emily takes a deep breath.
“You’re not sick, are you?” Matt asks, and I can see the love he has for both his brothers’ girls in his eyes. And, honestly, it makes me love him even more.
Emily shakes her head. She jerks a thumb toward Logan. “Your brother knocked me up,” she says.
The room goes silent. Completely silent. You could have heard a pin drop.
“What?” Matt asks, looking from Logan to Emily and back. He has icing all over himself yet he’s suddenly so serious. He points to Emily’s belly. “You’re pregnant?” he whispers.
Emily laughs and nods. “We’re pregnant!” she cries.
“So no more tossing her over any shoulders,” Logan warns, glaring at all his brothers. They’re getting to their feet, one by one. Suddenly, Matt jerks Emily toward him and wraps his arms around her.
“I’m so happy for you,” I hear him say softly as he swings her around. She giggles and holds him close to her, patting his back.
Matt sets her back from him and looks down at her belly. “You’re going to be the best mom ever, Em,” he says.
“I hope so,” she says quietly, laying a hand on her belly. The rest of the brothers come forward to congratulate them, and they rub Logan’s head and jab him in the side, while Emily gets lots of soft hugs. “Maybe she’ll be born perfect like her dad,” she says. She worries her lower lip.
“Or f**king gifted like you,” Matt says vehemently.
Emily sniffs and smiles at him, a watery grin.
“There’s just one thing I want to know,” Matt says.
He wraps an arm around Emily’s shoulders and looks down at her. I flinch when I see what he’s about to do, but she does kind of deserve it. His hand inches toward the countertop and he snags a cupcake. “Is the baby going to like chocolate or vanilla?” He brings it up and crams it into Emily’s startled face.
She sucks in a jerky breath.
“Booyah!” Matt cries, and he runs away from Emily. Logan drags a finger down Emily’s face, scooping up some of the icing and brings it to his lips. He laughs.
“Good cupcakes, Sam,” Logan says.
Sam chuckles.
“I’m going to go clean up,” Matt says, gesturing toward the bathroom. He goes into the bathroom and closes the door.
“Is he all right?” Emily asks Paul. She looks worried. She picks up a dish towel and starts to wipe her face, her gaze never leaving the direction in which Matt went.
“He’s fine,” Paul says. But his gaze lingers on the bathroom door.
I can’t help but be amazed by their family. They love and care for one another. I look at Seth, who has been watching with amusement. They remind me of how Seth is with the girls. They’re playful and loving, and they support one another. I suddenly want to be a part of this family more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I want to be Matt’s family. And I want him to be part of mine.
Matt
Emily is f**king pregnant. Logan’s going to be a father. Emily is going to be a mother. I’m going to be an uncle. Again. I stare into the mirror and swallow hard to push the feelings back down into my gut, where they can stay nice and hidden. I don’t particularly like wearing them on my face.
I leave the bathroom door open since I’m just washing up. The icing is sticking to my beard stubble, though, and it’s a little bit difficult to get off. Emily knocks on the door. She looks ridiculous with her face smeared with icing. Even more ridiculous than I do. She licks her fingers as she walks into the bathroom and takes out a towel. She doesn’t say anything as she leans over the sink and gets it wet, and then starts to clean her face off, too.
Her eyes finally meet mine in the mirror. Her gaze darts away.
“You okay, Em?” I ask.
She nods and keeps swiping at her face. “This blue stuff is hard to get off. Need to tell Sam to use a different color next time.”
“Or next time, we can try not wearing it.” I snort. Like that will ever happen.
She shuts off the water and leans close to the mirror as she continues to scrub.
“Talk to me, Em,” I say.
She shakes her head.
“How did this happen?” I ask.
A grin tugs at her lips as her face colors. “Seriously, Matt?” she asks.
I roll my eyes. “That’s not what I meant,” I say.
“I know what you meant,” she says as she turns the water back on. But her face is clean, so I think she’s just looking for something to do to keep her hands busy. “You remember when I had my wisdom teeth out a couple of months ago?”
Of course, I remember. She looked like a chipmunk for a week.
“Yeah, antibiotics,” she says. She shrugs.
“You’re happy, right?” I ask.
“I couldn’t be happier.” Her eyes meet mine, and I know she’s not lying.
I brush her bangs from her forehead and squeegee a piece of her hair with my fingertips, removing a little icing. “What’s bothering you, then?” I ask.
She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. “What if he or she turns out like me?” she whispers. Emily has dyslexia and is nearly illiterate. She has to work really hard to do all the things that people take for granted, like reading street signs and menus in restaurants.
“What if he or she is?” I ask softly. I want to shout at her, to tell her how fabulous she is. I want to tell her how lucky her baby will be to have a mother like Emily and a father like Logan and a whole room full of aunts and uncles who will spoil the baby rotten.
“I’m just scared,” she says. She shakes her head like she wants to shake the thought away. “I wouldn’t wish my learning disability on my worst enemy.”
“If she does, you’ll get her the help she needs to succeed.” That’s something Emily never had. She didn’t have the support. She had a father who thought she didn’t try hard enough and no one who fought for her, until she met Logan.
She looks up at me. “It’ll be all right either way, right?”
Logan lost his hearing because of a fever, so they don’t have to worry about a baby of theirs inheriting his hearing impairment. “It’ll be all right,” I say. And I don’t doubt my words, not at all. “You’re going to be a great mom, Em.”
She nods and throws the towel at my face. I catch it and toss it into the hamper along with mine. She lays a hand on her belly. “It’s hard to believe that I have a little person growing inside me,” she says softly.
I put my hands on her shoulders and follow her out of the bathroom. But I hear crying coming from Hayley’s room and head in that direction. I find Joey and Mellie standing with Hayley, and Mellie has peed in her pants.
“Uh oh,” I say. I put my finger to my lips. “Shh,” I say. “Don’t tell anyone. I’ll be right back.”
I walk out to the bag that Sky brought with her and get clean clothes for Mellie, and then go back and take her hand so I can lead her to the bathroom. I am not quite sure what to do when she doesn’t let my hand go and drags me into the bathroom with her. I let her clean herself up, and she puts on some clean clothes while I sit on the edge of the tub. This is all new to me. Well, I’ve done it with Hayley, but she lives with us and she’s my niece. Her being family makes it easier to know what to do.
I get Mellie to wash her hands and remind myself to tell her to go to the bathroom in a half hour or so. I toss her clothes into the hamper. I’ll wash them and take them back to Sky tomorrow. We walk out of the bathroom, and Mellie grins up at me and hugs my leg, just below my knee. She sits down on my foot, and I take a few steps wearing her like a boot, her clinging to me like Velcro. She thinks it’s hilarious, and the other girls want to take a turn, too.
After everyone gets a ride and I make sure they all have snacks, I walk out into the hallway. Emily is standing there, and she looks me up and down and nods.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing,” she sings, grinning like a fool.
“Say it,” I prompt.
She shrugs. But then she looks up into my face. “You’re going to be the best dad ever, Matt,” she says.
My heart swells. “Well, at least I don’t have to worry about them turning out like me.” I scratch my belly. “Being this handsome is quite a burden to bear.”
She laughs and punches me in the gut.
I bend in the middle, clutching my stomach, and that’s when Sky walks around the corner.
She looks toward Hayley’s room. “I was just going to check on the girls,” she says.
“I just did,” I tell her. Her brow furrows, and she looks so damn pretty that I want to kiss her. “Don’t tell anyone but Mellie’s pants peed on her,” I whisper dramatically.
She turns toward her bag. “Oh, I better get some clothes,” she says.
“Already took care of it,” I say, and I wrap my arms around Sky.
She hugs me back. “You took care of it?” She lays her face against my chest and nuzzles against me. I could stand here like this all day long.
“Of course,” I say.
She mumbles something against my chest that sounds like, “You’re really sexy when you take care of children.”
“Hey,” I cry. “You should see me when I vacuum. And do dishes. You won’t be able to stand the sexy.”
She laughs and kisses the center of my chest, just over my heart.
We go back into the living room, and I sit at her feet while she sits on the couch. Emily picks up her guitar again after Reagan gets herself all cleaned up. Or after Pete cleans Reagan up, which takes way longer than it should. Emily starts to play, and I feel Sky’s fingers tickle across the back of my neck. I reach up to pull the rubber band from my hair and lean closer to her. She takes the hint and starts to draw her fingers down the length of my hair.
I really need a haircut, but after having been bald for so long, I don’t want to cut it off. I feel like Sampson who took his strength from his hair. I know it’s stupid, but it’s how I feel. My hair being as long as it is means I’m healthy. I’m not going through chemo. I’m not taking lots of meds. I’m just me.
Sky doesn’t stop stroking me, not even when the song changes. I have my family around me, and nothing has ever felt quite so right.
“So, who’s going to the wedding tomorrow?” Pete asks all of a sudden.
Emily’s fingers stumble across the strings, and she slaps her hand down over them to quiet the noise. “Pete,” she hisses.
“What?” he asks, throwing up his hands.
“What wedding?” Sky asks.
I look up at her and tangle my fingers with hers on my shoulder. “An old friend of mine is getting married,” I say.
Pete makes a blowing noise with his mouth that sounds a lot like the noise we heard a goat make once at a petting zoo. Paul shoots him a look, and he bites back whatever he was going to say next.
“Why would he go to that?” Reagan asks Pete, and she looks at him like he’s grown two horns.
“To prove that he’s ov—” Pete grunts and shuts up when Reagan elbows him in the stomach. I would have gone for his nuts, honestly. “The invitation was for all of us,” Pete grumbles. “We should at least go and eat all their food and drink all their drinks. Just saying.”
“Did you want to go?” Sky asks me.
I shake my head. “Not really.”
“You said it’s an old friend, right?” she asks.
I nod my head. “Sort of.”
“I think you should go.”
“You could take Sky with you,” Pete says. “Rub that shit—” He grunts again when Reagan hits him on the back of the head.
“Go for his nuts next time,” I tell Reagan.
“Good idea,” she says as she shoots daggers at him with her eyes. “Your nuts are mine the next time you open your mouth,” she warns, pointing a finger toward his crotch.
“My nuts have been yours since the day I met you, princess,” he says.
Sam makes a gagging noise, pretending like he’s going to throw up.
“So, did you want to go?” Sky asks. I wish she’d leave it alone. But I’d have to tell her what’s up in order for her to do that, and I’m honestly having so much fun that I don’t even want to think about April and Ken. I don’t want to let them steal one minute of my happiness.
Emily elbows Logan. “We could go with them,” she says. “For moral support.”
Logan shrugs his shoulders. He couldn’t care less, apparently.
“Well, then it looks like we’re going,” I say on a heavy breath. “Yay,” I deadpan. “Can you be ready by two?” I look up at Sky.
“Oh, you want me to go with you?” she asks, her eyes opening wide with shock.
I tug her hand until she has no choice but to lean toward my face so I can kiss her. “I wouldn’t go without you,” I say. “Come with me.”