I smile. I can’t help myself. “I suppose I could focus on your mind for once.”
He laughs and takes off his shirt. He unzips his pants and flings them onto a chair. “This is as unsexy as I get,” he says. “Now, I know it’s still really sexy, but . . .”
“I’ll try to control myself,” I say.
“That’d be best.”
Ethan pulls back the covers and gets into bed wearing just his boxers. I undress and pick up his T-shirt from the floor. I slip it over my shoulders and get in next to him.
“You’re not sexy at all,” Ethan says. “Not one bit.”
“No?” I ask doubtfully.
“Pssh, if you think I’m thinking about how great your breasts look in my T-shirt, you are dead wrong. Not having sex with you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
I laugh and curl up into him. Charlemagne is nestled somewhat in the middle. We can barely fit, the three of us. But we make it work.
“Oh, wait,” I say just as Ethan turns out the light. “Turn the light back on.”
“OK?” he says, and he does.
I hop out of bed and find the list I made earlier this afternoon. I grab a pen and cross out “Get a job.”
I hold it up for him. “Only two more to go.”
“Ugh,” he says, looking at me. “Please get your legs underneath the covers where I can’t see them. They’re even nicer than your boobs.”
I wake up at around two in the afternoon to an unexpected treat.
“Surprise!” Tina says as she and Carl walk into the room. Gabby trails in behind them with an apologetic look on her face. Tina has brought a vase full of some of the nicest flowers I’ve ever seen.
Flowers, flowers, flowers. Would it kill someone to bring me chocolates?
“They made me promise not to warn you,” Gabby says.
Carl rolls his eyes and comes closer to me. “Surprises are better,” he says. He leans down and hugs me lightly. Tina is right behind him. As he moves out of the way, she takes position. She smells like vanilla.
“Thank you both for coming.”
“Are you kidding?” Tina says. “Gabby has had to hold us back from visiting sooner. If I had my druthers, I’d have been here days ago and not left the room.”
She puts the vase of flowers on the table, next to the others.
Carl sits himself right down in the chair next to me. “How are you?” he says. He looks at me intently, with compassion, sympathy, and expertise. I’m not sure if he’s asking as a friend, a father figure, or a physician.
“I’m OK,” I say.
“Try to move your toes for me,” he says, looking intently at the foot of the bed.
“Dad!” Gabby says. “You’re not her doctor. Dr. Winters has been doing a fabulous job.”
“You can’t have too many doctors looking at a patient,” Carl says. “Hannah, try to move your toes.”
I don’t want to try to move my toes.
“Later, Dad,” Gabby says. “OK? You’re making Hannah uncomfortable.”
“Hannah, am I making you uncomfortable?”
What am I supposed to say to that? Yes, you’re making me uncomfortable? Actually, screw it, yes, life is too short to go around lying.
“Yeah,” I say. “A little. It’s hell being in this bed, dealing with this body right now. I’d love to just forget about my toes for a few minutes.”
Carl looks me in the eye and then nods and looks at Gabby. He puts his hands up. “My apologies! We’ll put it on the back burner.” I think he’s done, but then he speaks up again. “Just make sure you’re giving that doctor a challenge now and again. Make sure she’s working hard for you, has you as a priority.”
“Will do,” I say. When he winks at me, I wink back.
“So,” Tina says, “has Gabby told you about our dog, Barker? I’m completely in love with this guy. Anywhere I go, I insist that people look at pictures.”
She moves toward me with her cell phone and gives Gabby a smile. She doesn’t care about me looking at Barker. She is trying to change the subject so Carl doesn’t keep going.
“I keep trying to persuade Gabby to get a Saint Bernard just like him,” Tina says as she swipes through picture after picture of Barker in various rooms of their house.
“I know,” Gabby says, “but Mark’s allergic to dogs. It’s a whole thing.”
We talk for a while, catching up on what I’ve been up to, what they’ve been up to, the three of us making fun of Gabby. And then they start to head out. I appreciate that they came but aren’t staying long. They seem to understand perfectly the toll that being around other people can take on someone in the hospital.
“When you get out of here,” Tina says, “and you’re feeling up for it, I want to talk to you about a lawsuit.”
“A lawsuit?”
Tina looks to Gabby for permission to continue talking, and Gabby subtly grants it.
“Gabby has filled me in on the situation with the person who hit you, and I talked to a friend of mine who is an ADA.”
I don’t know whether to be ashamed or proud of the fact that I know that an ADA is an assistant district attorney because of all the Law & Order I’ve been watching.
“OK,” I say.
“They have the woman who hit you. She’s being charged with a hit-and-run.”
“Well, that’s good, right?”
“Yeah,” Carl says, nodding. “Very good.”
“But we wanted to put something in your head. Your medical bills are going to be significant,” Tina says. “I’m sure you’ve spoken to your parents about this, and we don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, but we want you to know that we will help you, if you need help paying for them.”
“What?” I say.
“Only if you need it,” Carl says. “We just want you to know that we’re here, as a resource, if you need us.”
“And,” Tina says, “we will help you file a lawsuit against this woman if that’s what you decide to do.”
I’m overwhelmed by the generosity and thoughtfulness of the Hudsons. “Wow,” I say. “I’m . . . I don’t know what to say.”
Tina grabs my hand. “Don’t say anything. It was just important to us that you knew. We will always have your back.”
“As far as we’re concerned, you’re an honorary Hudson,” Carl says. “But you already know that, right?”
I look at him and nod, with full honesty.
Carl and Tina go to the door, and Gabby walks them out. When she gets back into the room, I’m staring at the ceiling, trying to process all of it. I hadn’t thought about medical bills. I hadn’t thought about the person who did this to me.
Someone did this to me.
Someone is to blame.
Someone made me lose the baby I didn’t know I had.
“You OK?” Gabby asks.
I look at her. I shake it off. “Yeah,” I say. “I am. Your parents are . . . I mean, they’re . . . they’re incredible.”
“They love you,” Gabby says, sitting down in the chair.
“Do you really think I should sue?”
Gabby nods. “Yeah,” she says. “No doubt about it.”
“I’m not the suing type,” I say, although what do I think that means, exactly?
“I saw it happen, Hannah. That lady hit you while you were in the crosswalk with a walk signal. There was no mistaking what happened. She knew she hit someone. And even then, she did not stop. She kept driving. So knowing that this woman drove away from the scene of a crime that could have been deadly, knowing that she made no attempt to help you or call an ambulance, I think she deserves not just to go to jail but also to make personal amends for what she has done.” Gabby’s angry. “If you ask me, she can go fuck herself.”
“Jesus, Gabby.”
She shrugs. “I don’t care how it sounds. I hate her.”
For a moment, I try to put myself in Gabby’s shoes. She watched me get hit by a car. She watched me fall to the ground. She watched me pass out. And she probably thought I might die right there in front of her. And suddenly, I hate that woman, too. For putting her through that. For putting me through this. For all of it.