Lily didn’t know why she said what she said just then. She just knew she had never felt so susceptible to a man, and her panic to protect herself at all costs made h er speak without thinking.
“Well, there’s Rowena first off. ”
“Rowena?” Ewen ’s face got very still, his eyes glinting cold with anger. “That cursed lass spills lies like a horse dealer. I thought her a mere nuisance, but now it seems she ’s a mind for treachery where John is concerned. ” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “To take the lad off like that. If you hadn’t been there, he ’d be, well, ” he added quietly, “I ’m grateful you were there. ”
Outrage clouded his blue eyes. “I ’ll discover the truth of her deceit” he pierced Lily with a dark look “and henceforth — — you ’ll not speak her name to me. ”
“I ” … , Lily stammered.
“I ’m sorry. You ’re right. ” She forced out a small laugh to break the tension. “She is a horrible creature, huh?”
Confused, he asked, “Well then why would you say such a wicked thing?”
“Well, I guess I meant, you know, maybe you preferred women like her…”
“I’ve naught but contempt for such women. ” His gravelly voice was hushed as he added, “You don ’t know me one bit if you think my head is turned by one such as her. ”
She felt her heart break to see the hurt written openly on his face. “What else have I done to deserve your judgment in this way, Lily?”
The use of her full name was not lost on her—she had gotten used to his affectionately referring to her as “Lil’ ”. She lashed out again. “There ’s your son. You never give him any attention. Do you really love him? You would do well to take a lesson from your brother, Robert, I think. ” The rage that came over him was palpable. “Robert? You want me to take a lesson from Robert? Tell me you ’ve not eyes for Robbie. I love the lad like he ’s my own blood, but what has he done to gain your steady heart? Has he risked the welfare of his family by taking you in? Has he entrusted the care of his only son to you? Has he done everything in his power to ensure your comfort and safety?”
He turned, a look of disgust on his face. Ewen angrily donned his kilt and, shirt in hand, stormed to the door. He didn ’t look back at Lily when he spat, “I thought you a woman, with need of a man, but you may keep your young Robbie instead. ”
Ewen was halfway out of the room when he stopped. Lily was just beginning to feel frightened when finally he turned to look at her, grief etched clearly on his face. “As for what you said about my John, well, aye, you do have something there. I love him more than life, but I ’ve failed if the lad doesn’t see it clear.”
The door clicked quietly shut, and Lily crumpled on the bed. She much preferred seeing Ewen angry than in pain. She didn’t know what she had been thinking to say such things. The desire that tore through her at the sight of him had left her feeling exposed, confused. She didn’t know how to handle it and instead railed blindly at him, injuring him for making her want him so.
He had been right. Why did she fight the attraction? For that’s what she knew she was feeling and she couldn’t explain it. Cerebral, modern, urban Lily, whose most recent boyfriend had been a computer geek, heartsick over some grim Scottish warrior who literally had seventeenth -century notions of women’s equality. But there it was. The relief that washed over her to discover that there was nothing between Ewen and Rowena had rocked her. Lily had felt her attraction to him slowly building from the moment she ’d arrived and hadn ’t fully admitted it to herself until
Ewen spoke the words.
She didn’t understand how, but she had somehow come to know the stoic laird. Known precisely what to say to inflict the most acute injury. To accuse him of not loving his son enough was unforgivable. But then to bring up Robert, of all people. She especially didn ’t know where that had come from. She was fond of Robert, but he clearly was not made of the same mettle as his foster brother. The thought that she might be attracted to him was preposterous.
She curled up tightly on the bed and pulled the heavy quilt up to her ears. Warmth still radiated from the deep impression his body left on the mattress, yet Lily found she still could not get warm enough. She couldn’t help but inhale his scent. The subtle mix of peat, leather, and man that she had come to recognize as his own filled her senses. Her heart sank to realize that she had kicked Ewen out of his own room. The oversized bed, dark furnishings, books on the bedside, and claymore perched in the corner all mocked her.
She thought how she should scamper back to her own room but the shame, anguish, and hurt pride were too much for her. She fell into a fitful sleep, wondering how she would ever be able to face Ewen again.
Chapter 22
Ewen didn ’t understand why she didn’t trust his words, and despite himself, it cut him to the heart. He hadn’t opened himself up to a woman that much since, well, perhaps ever. Even with Mairi, he had kept a large part of himself walled off from any undue emotions. It had been a suitable and politic match, no more. There was something about Lily, though, and it was beginning to aggravate him. He couldn’t believe the nonsense that flowed out of his mouth after the incident at the river and was thankful that it hadn ’t gone any further than it had between them. He could only attribute it to a heightened mental state after fearing for his son so. Regardless, what was done was done. She was a part of his household—at least until they could figure out how to dispatch her back to her own world—and he needed to make amends. He had become too contented where she was concerned; there were even moments when he thought that perhaps she was sent to him for some greater purpose. After their last encounter, though, he resolved to put such nonsense out of his mind. He would find this mysterious maze and get her back through it as soon as possible.
He knew just who could help. After days of searching, his scouts finally tracked down the elusive Gormshuil. The old woman would never have been found had she not wanted to be, and Ewen feared what tidings she might have for him. Many believed she should have been outcast—or worse—long ago for witchcraft. He couldn ’t bring himself to cross her, and although he liked to think it was to honor his grandfather, who had sought Gormshuil’s counsel, a part of him wondered if he actually feared the old woman. They desperately needed to understand the key to this labyrinth, and the laird hoped that Gormshuil would be able to offer counsel. The mystery had long frustrated Ewen, who generally considered himself a man of science. He suspected Robert ’s and Lily’s journeys through time had to do with the alignment of the planets and stars, but he had no more to go on than that. After one too many drams of whisky, his uncle Donald would speculate that the fairy folk had a hand in the matter, but Ewen dismissed this as nonsense such like the Irish would believe.
So, until he could talk to Gormshuil and track down the maze, he was left with this peculiar woman from some distant future. He wanted to atone for his loss of control and thought to offer her a token of peace and friendship, of the platonic variety. Ewen ruled out giving her any jewelry; he had done a poor job presenting her with the necklace, and besides, he was beginning to see Lily as a woman not easily swayed by the usual feminine baubles.
Inspiration had come to him in the most outlandish place. He would give her a gift that, though heartfelt, didn ’t speak of courtship. It hadn ’t been too difficult tracking down the mutt; he knew of a widower farmer living on the outskirts of Lochaber who took up husbandry as a pastime to while away the lonely hours once his five daughters were wedded off. Although the old man’s primary focus was hog breeding, he had a particular fondness for hounds, and Ewen counted himself lucky that the farmer’s prize wolfhound bitch had recently dropped a litter. If he was to take some mongrel canine into the keep, he vowed it would be a pup that could be trained. Lily had shown an unreasonable connection to the wolf that day in the woods and he figured a spirited canine would be just the thing to occupy her. As if John weren ’t spirited enough.
He’d wanted her that day in his bed, and thought he saw that desire mirrored in her own eyes. More perilous, though, had been sensing Lily’s ability to hurt him. Her words had left an ache in his heart no less shocking than his first sword wound. Ewen was convinced that the solution to the problem was simple enough. If they both occupied their minds with other pursuits, the beckoning of the flesh would soon be forgotten as a momentary lapse of weakness. Giving Lily a hound would be a token of apology for any loss of control, without really having to say the words. Besides, John had been clamoring for a dog for years, and this would be a way for Ewen to earn a sorely needed victory with both of them.
Lily was in her garden hideaway when Ewen finally tracked her down.
“What can you see in this wee tangled corner? We ’ve a much grander garden for your strolls. ”
She turned, ready to strike, but the irritation that had been written clearly on her features immediately dissolved when she glimpsed the mass of gray fur and tartan wriggling in his arms.
Her curiosity getting the better of her, Lily forgot for a moment that she was supposed to be mad at the laird.
“What have you got?”
“Nay, lass, it’s what you’ve got. ” An uncharacteristically broad grin broke across Ewen’s face and just as quickly disappeared. “It’s an offering of peace after, well, you know the mistake I’m talking about. ”
Lily recoiled as if slapped. Even though she had been berating herself, running the scene in the bedroom over and over in her mind, cursing whatever weakness had gotten her into that situation, for him to express his own remorse stung.
“You seem overly fond of wolves, and though I’ll not abide such a creature near my keep, I’d not mind a canine. ”
Ewen unwrapped the frayed blanket that had been concealing his treasure, and a gangly puppy sprang out and bounded straight for Lily. She couldn’t help her delighted squeals as she wrestled with the enthusiastic pup. Looking up at Ewen with gratitude in her eyes, Lily once again spotted that elusive but heartfelt smile that played at the corners of his mouth, warming his normally stern features.