“Of course.” Eddie leaned toward him. “Gladys and I have a cable access show.”
The other women started to smile. Madeline thought briefly about screaming but didn’t think that would distract either of the old women. They were nothing if not tenacious.
“You want me to be a guest?” Jonny asked.
“Not all of you,” Eddie told him. “We hold a contest every week. Guess That Butt. We show pictures of butts and viewers text in who they think that butt belongs to. It’s an honor to be chosen.”
Jonny looked at Madeline. “So you weren’t kidding.”
“I told you, but did you listen? Yes, this is real. But they left out a very significant detail.” She stared at the two women. “Do you want to tell him?”
“It’s male butts,” Gladys offered.
Eddie grinned. “Naked male butts. That’s very important.” Her smile faded. “But come to think of it, I’m not sure you would qualify. Didn’t you use Clay Stryker as a butt double in Amish Revenge? Why would you do that? Is there a problem?”
The two old women looked at each other, then back at him.
“Something you can’t talk about?” Gladys added in a low, concerned voice.
Everyone else at the meeting leaned forward, as if desperate to know. Madeline wanted to bang her head against the table.
“We’re here for the Live Nativity,” she said, knowing her mother would be proud of her for being mature. “Let’s get back to that.”
“Dr. Galloway isn’t here yet,” Eddie pointed out. “We can’t start without the committee chair.”
Before Madeline could think of a comeback to that, Jonny stood.
“There’s nothing wrong with my butt,” he told Eddie and Gladys.
“Prove it,” Eddie said firmly.
Before Madeline could figure out what was happening, Jonny turned his back on the room, unfastened his jeans and...
“Oh, my,” Eddie and Gladys breathed together. The other women sighed collectively.
Madeline had to agree. Jonny’s decision to use a butt double had nothing to do with the body part in question. It was perfect. Muscled and just the right size.
“Is it hot in here?” one of the other women asked as she fanned herself.
Madeline had to admit, she was feeling a little heat herself. Jonny pulled up his jeans, fastened them and settled back in his chair.
“Any questions?” he asked.
“We’ll sign you right up,” Gladys said.
The door opened and Dr. Galloway walked in. The woman walked briskly to her seat.
“Sorry I’m late. Some of my appointments took longer than expected. What did I miss?”
“Nothing at all,” Gladys told her. “I’ll start. As most of you know, we’ve had a couple of animal suggestions for the Live Nativity. The two that make the most sense are the fainting goat and the potbellied pig.”
“How does a fainting goat make sense?” one woman asked.
“You didn’t see the other animals nominated. These two are the right size, clean and socialized.”
“But if the goat faints, won’t that be a problem?”
Madeline stole a glance at Jonny. He was listening attentively, looking perfectly calm. Not at all as if the man had just dropped trou and flashed them. Although there hadn’t been any complaints.
Before she could turn away, Jonny looked at her and winked. She had to bite her lower lip to keep from laughing.
The man had style—she would give him that. And a superior butt. That was kind of a nice combination.
* * *
Jonny had done some remodeling to the kitchen and family room when he’d bought his ranch. Outside, he’d converted the two big barns into workable space. One was the open area where he would host Ginger’s wedding. The other had been divided into a large workout room and a smaller wood shop. The former was a requirement of his job. Staying in shape was critical. Nobody wanted to see a flabby action star. The latter was where he escaped.
He clicked on lights and stepped into the shop. The toys he’d already finished lined several shelves. He ignored the projects still under construction. Carving took time and he was on a deadline.
Jonny counted forty-seven toys. He sorted by type and counted again. The number was still the same. It was way more than he’d expected. Of course, he’d been carving for several years and hadn’t done anything with them.
There were trains and trucks, several small dinosaurs, pull toys and even two twelve-inch-tall castles. Everything was sanded and ready to go, except they were unfinished wood.