"Ahem… At the time I saw it as either or. I didn't think I was capable of protecting both without losing myself and my family." He reasoned out and Jayden listened attentively.
"That's cuz you're a selfish son-of-a-bitch." Jayden found himself judging despite trying not to. He knew that he had allowed the old man to push his buttons getting to him. He knew that his heart was showing.
"Ahem… Maybe so… But at the time I did the best I could with what I thought was right."
"And I suppose that makes it right, huh? As long as you gave it your best; then I have to forgive you, right? Is that what you believe?"
"I didn't think I could choose you and still have a life of my own." Jacob admitted.
"So you figured you would just forget about me?"
"How could I forget about you…?"
"Hmm that's right; eighty dollars a month… Was that all that I was worth to you?"
"That's not fair." Jacob snapped at his insinuation.
"Fair? Man don't even go there… Please let's not go there." Jayden puffed at his audacity as his eyes narrowed in on him.
Despite his words, he couldn't help but wanting to address the issue. He shook his head at himself. No matter what, he still cared. No matter what he had failed at hardening his heart against his father; and that thought only provoked him even more.
"Fair? Do you think it was fair that I grew up without knowing who my daddy was? Do you think it was fair that every day in the summer time I sweated away hustling for pocket money selling water and juice on the street while dear old daddy pimped around in three-piece Armani's and leather crocs?" He asked his father. Jacob had the good sense to look embarrassed at his son's words.
"Or what about the times when you would bring your stepchildren with you taking them to White Sox's and Cub's game? Did you ever once think that your real son might like to go to a game with you? Did you ever think that maybe… just maybe your real son wanted to throw the old baseball around with you; shoot a few hoops? Do you think that was fair?" He asked losing emotional control of his voice and choking slightly on the lump in his throat. He turned so that his father wouldn't see his tears. He didn't want the old bastard to know how much he still cared; so he turned away showing his back to his father. Jacob looked at his son and for the first time he saw how much his son had been hurting. He felt remorse towards his son, but still the damage had been done.