Before Marla could get wound up too deeply into those painful memories her thoughts did another about-face and turned to her father. He was the only one who had expressed genuine joy, happiness and any positivity about being a grandparent. His words had kept her going even making her smile right now during this frightening ordeal.
"That's my little man there; I'm going to get to know my little grandson," he bragged over the airwaves as they talked endlessly throughout the night about her having a baby boy. She smiled even now as she could picture her father with his chest stuck out boastfully as he shared the good news with his alcoholic buddies on some nameless street corner in Memphis TN.
Marla had wanted to invite him to come and stay with her when it was close to her delivery date. She wanted daddy to be by her side supporting her for the birth of his first grandchild, but she only had the one small room that she rented and could not afford anything bigger as she was saving for maybe a small house to buy one day soon. She really wished that her dad was by her side right now. She needed someone to hold her hand and tell her that everything was going to be okay. She needed someone to tell her that this wasn't the worst thing that could happen. But it couldn't be helped; her father was nine-hundred miles away. Marla just had to roll with the punches.
"If I had known you were pregnant there would be no baby…" Suddenly the acid words of Aunt Shirley sliced through her mind; killing her happy thoughts about her father. Her thoughts were jumping all over the place. She knew it was hormonal mixed with her labor, the stress and now the emergency C-section that was being scheduled. It was a wonder that she was still able to form coherent sentences. She closed her eyes at those painful words as tears began slipping out from under them. Yes that was why she had hid her pregnancy. She knew that even though she was 22 years old, her aunt still exercised a great deal of authority and influence in her life. She knew that had Aunt Shirley told her to get rid of her baby; she knew that she would have been too weak to stand up to her aunt. She knew that she wouldn't have stood a chance and that the baby she had dearly wanted would have been but a painful and sad memory of her young life. Therefore she kept her pregnancy a secret until the very end. She would give calling Jacob one more try.