Why did his mom have to be the mature one all the time? He wanted to be justified in hating not only his father but also his entire family; but living with his mom made it impossible not to and he hated her for pointing out that his father to his credit had never cursed or call her out of her name or ever laid a hand on her. He hated his mom for finding something good in that man, because no matter what, he had to respect the man for respecting his mom when they were together; that did deserve a modicum of recognition he reluctantly admitted.

"There's the only way to stop a cycle." He heard his mother quietly reiterating. Jayden didn't know it, but she too hated this and hated having to be the one to have to teach her son this lesson. She wanted to be the immature one, the jilted woman who trashed the deadbeat dad and his family, but she knew in the end she would only be hurting her son.

Despite her feelings about Jacob and his family, he was still her son's father and she was the one who had made the choice to be with Jacob. She had to remember that more than hating and not forgiving Jacob that above all else she loved her son and his best interest had to come first and foremost over her personal feelings. Therefore she had swallowed her curses and ate up her pride trying to keep her son well-rounded and balanced when it came to his perception of his father and himself as a man. She would let her son make up his own mind and draw his own conclusion of his father based on his own interactions with him. She would only do her best to facilitate her son's growth into a proper and responsible man. That meant he had to learn forgiveness and compassion. Also in retrospect there was no need to trash the man, his own actions and attitude surpassed anything that she could have said about or done to his reputation.

Sure she had several colorful names that she would have loved to call that man, but she knew to call him a good for nothing, trifling bastard was just as good as calling her son a good for nothing, trifling bastard. Jayden was his father's son and if she would do anything to cause her son to hate his father; she would be teaching her son to hate himself. It was just as Malcolm X had said a long time ago; "…you can't hate the roots of a tree, and not hate the tree. You can't hate your origin and not end up hating yourself"[iii] [see reference]. Like it or not, Jacob was Jayden's roots and Jayden was Jacob's fruit and she had to accept it as a fact of life. However Marla looked up to the heavens and in her spirit she told God, 'Don't ask me to do this shit again.'




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