"I don't seem to have learned anything--I believe I am rebellious all
the time--."
"Probably."
"Miss Sharp--you could really help me if you would. Please explain to
me--I will be a diligent pupil."
"Perhaps you were in a position of great power the last time, and were
lavish and kind to people in a way--or you would not be so rich now--but
you caused suffering and relied upon yourself, not on anything
divine--you must have caused much suffering, perhaps mentally even, and
so you had to be re-born and be wounded--to teach you the lesson of it
all;--that is called your Karma. Our Karma is what we bring on with us
from life to life in the way of obligations which we must discharge--so
you see it rests with each one of us not to lay up more debts to pay in
the future."
Her refined voice was level, as though she were controlling herself, not
to allow any personal feeling to enter her discourse--her gloved hands
were perfectly still in her lap--She was in profile to me so that I
could see that her very long eyelashes seemed to be rather pressed
against the glasses--I have not before been so close to her in a bright
light.--Why does she wear those damned spectacles? I was thinking, when
she said-"You find it hard to be confined to your chair and not to be able to
fight, don't you?--Well when you could fight it was not always the
pleasure of going over the top? You had to have times in the trenches
too, hadn't you--when you just had to bear it?"
"Of course--?"
"Well--you are in the trenches now, don't you see--and it is according
to how your soul learns the lesson of them, as to whether in this life
you will ever be allowed to go over the top again--or even to have
peace."
"What is the lesson?"
"I am not God--I cannot tell you--but we would all know what our lesson
to learn is, if we were not too vain to face the truth into ourselves."
"The aim being?"-"Why of course to improve character and learn strength."
"What qualities do you most admire in a person, Miss Sharp?"
"Self control and strength."
"You have no sympathy with weaklings?"
"None whatever--bad strong people are better than weak good ones."
I knew this was true. This fragile creature suggests infinite repose and
strength--what could she have done in a former life to bring her back in
such unkind surroundings, that she must spend her days in drudgery, so
that she has never even leisure to think?--I longed to ask her, but did
not dare.