Sunday: I slept last night soundly for some strange reason, and woke quite late
on Sunday morning.
One frequently has some sense of depression or some sense of exhaltation
before one is quite conscious, and quite often cannot account for either
state. Presumably Alathea had left me full of contemptuous indifference,
but I awoke with a feeling of joy and satisfaction, which gradually
changed to flatness, when I became fully aware of things.
For indeed what reason had I for great rejoicing? None, except that the
menace of the Suzette bogie may be lifted.
I rang for Burton. It was nine o'clock.
"Has Her Ladyship breakfasted yet, Burton?"
"Her Ladyship breakfasted at eight, and left the house at half-past, Sir
Nicholas."
My heart sank. So I was going to have a lonely morning. She had said she
wanted to go to her mother, I remembered now. I did not hurry to get up.
The doctors were coming with the wonderful artist who is making my new
foot, at twelve o'clock, and I am to have it on to-day for the first
time. This would be a surprise for Alathea when she returned to lunch. I
read my journal in bed, and thought over the whole of our acquaintance.
Yes, certainly she has greatly changed in the last six weeks. And
possibly I am nearer my goal than I could have dared to hope.
Now my method must be to be sweet to her, and not tease her any more.
How wonderful it will be when she does love me. I have not thought much
about my own feelings lately. She has kept me so often irritated and
angry, but I know that there is a steady advance, and that I love her
more than ever.
To see her little mutinous rebellious face softening--?--it will be
worth all the waiting. But meanwhile she is out, and I had better get
up!
* * * * *
I wonder if all the hundreds of other fellows who lost a leg below the
knee and were cripples for eighteen months felt the same as I did when
the new limb was fixed, and they stood upon two feet again for the first
time.
A strange, almost mad sense of exaltation filled me. I could walk! I was
no longer a prisoner, dependent upon the devotion of attendants!
I should no longer have to have things placed within reach, and be made
to realize impotency!
It hurt and was awkward for a while.--But Oh! the joy, joy, joy!!
After the doctors and the specialist had gone with hearty
congratulations, my dear old faithful servant had tears in his eyes as
he dressed me.