I nodded my head.
“Say the words, Syd.”
“Yes, I can keep still.” My words were a whisper of anticipation.
Jack smiled and bent over to kiss my belly. Soft, gentle kisses turned into firm sucks and light nips as I felt his hands traveling north on my inner thighs in a slow torturous ascent. His kisses moved south and met his hands as he firmly but gently eased two fingers inside of me.
I moaned, and lifted my h*ps off the bed, careful not to change the position of my legs.
“So wet for me already.” Jack swirled his tongue around and around on my swollen cl*tas his fingers pumped into me, setting a slow, rhythmic pace.
Without thinking, I went to reach down and dig my fingers into Jack’s hair, but my binds held and tightened around my wrists as I struggled. The feeling of being bound while his mouth assaulted me and his fingers f**ked me was incredibly intense. I cried out, “Jack!”
“Beautiful, baby. Fucking beautiful.” His words came out in a hot breath against the sensitive skin of my swollen clit, sending a jolt all the way down to the tops of my toes. My pulse quickened and Jack must have sensed how close I was because his fingers pumped in and out of me faster and faster.
“Come for me, baby. I need to see you.”
His words were enough to send me over the edge. It wasn’t a slow build, it was like being hit by lightening. My whole body began to convulse and I screamed Jack’s name as I thrashed my head from side to side. I hardly recognized my voice as I repeated Jack’s name in a whimper, over and over again.
I was only vaguely aware that Jack had untied me, until I felt his strong arm underneath me, flipping me over onto my stomach. Jack leaned his body over my back, pressing his erection against the top of my ass, and I felt his breath at my neck. “I’m going to take you this way,” he whispered in my ear.
Jack pulled a pillow under my head. I was in such a fog that I was relieved that Jack was still giving the orders. “Keep your head on the pillow.” Then he lifted me at the waist, drawing my ass into the air, on my knees to support myself.
I was again completely exposed, my ass prominently on display, vulnerable to Jack’s intentions. “I’ve never seen anything sexier than your perfect ass in the air, waiting for me to take you from behind.”
I felt his words in the pit of my tummy, the same feeling as hitting the high point on a rollercoaster right before the fall. I felt Jack’s finger on my spine, tracing the path from the middle of my back down through the crack of my ass.
Jack’s other hand positioned himself at my slick opening and I was startled at the strength that he slammed into me. “Aagh,” I cried out, more startled than in pain.
“You okay, baby?”
“Yeah, I just didn’t expect that and I wasn’t ready for it.”
Jack eased out a little and rotated his hips, stretching me wide. A few tender strokes and then: “You ready for me yet, baby?”
“Yes, I’m good.” I barely finished the three little words when Jack was already slamming back inside of me. He growled on a particularly deep thrust forward and found his rhythm. Each thrust was hard, almost punishing, and his pace was fast and furious. I’d never felt Jack react that way before. It was as if he needed to conquer me. It was exquisite and I wanted nothing more than for him to take me. Conquer me. Make me fully his.
“Syd!” Jack cried out as he spilled into me. The heat from his orgasm detonated my own unexpectedly. We both cried out together before we collapsed into a heaping pile of bones.
“Wow,” I said, when I was finally able to breathe again. “That was amazing.”
We lay on our sides, and Jack pulled me close against his body, my back glued to his front. We were both covered in sweat and I could smell my arousal in the air, thick around us.
“Definitely not a loss.” Jack kissed my shoulder blade from behind.
***
I don’t know when we fell asleep, I only knew there was a phone somewhere that needed to stop ringing or I might hunt it down and trample it. I was physically and emotionally spent. I had no idea if we had slept two hours or twenty hours, but I was not ready to be awoken yet. The phone finally stopped ringing, and I had began to slip back into dreamland, when the ringing started again a few minutes later.
I felt Jack’s arm leave my side and then the ringing stopped.
“Hello?” I was not happy that he had answered it. Whoever it was could wait.
I felt Jack’s body go tense. I couldn’t hear the person on the other end of the phone, but it sounded like a woman, which instantly brought me out of my slumber.
“When?”
I heard the woman on the other end speak, but couldn’t make out the words.
“Where is he?”
More mumbling from the unknown woman.
“Okay, thanks, Betty.”
Betty? It took me a minute to sort through my mental rolodex and recall who Betty was — Jack’s father’s longtime assistant.
“Yes … I will.” Then Jack hung up.
Jack sat up in bed, his feet on the floor, elbows on his knees, hands holding his dropped head as he spoke. “My father had a massive heart attack.” His words were so quiet I struggled to hear them.
Jack turned to face me. I could see he was struggling with whatever he felt and it broke my heart. “I’ll get dressed.” I jumped out of bed and headed for the closet, but I noticed that Jack hadn’t moved yet. I turned back and looked at his eyes, which were still looking in my direction but not quite focused.
“Jack?”
Jack’s eyes came back to mine and I could see he was searching for something. Eventually he nodded in silence.
***
The cab ride to the hospital was quick since rush hour hadn’t started yet. Jack was quiet the whole way, and I wasn’t sure what to say, so I held his hand in silent support.
The front desk told us that Jack’s dad was in ICU and we followed directions through a series of hallways, which eventually led to an elevator bank. Outside the elevator on the 11th floor, a nurse’s station with a curtain did little to hide the dozen patients in beds and the sounds of beeping monitors.
Jack was the type of man who took the lead wherever we went. It was just who he was. At a restaurant he would give the name to the hostess, at a bar he ordered our drinks from the bartender, in a store he paid the cashier and left her with a flirtatious smile without trying. So I knew he was struggling when we walked up to the nurse’s station and she asked us for the name and he didn’t respond.
“Are you family?” The nurse looked to both of us questioning.
“Yes, I’m his daughter in law and Jack is his son.” I squeezed Jack’s hand as I spoke, hoping he would recognize my need to lie so that they would let us both in.
The nurse pointed to the far corner of the room, where two women were working on a man and we began to walk in that direction.
“Mrs. Heston?” It took me a minute to realize that the nurse was calling after me. I turned back to the nurse.
Her voice was low and full of empathy as she spoke. “The doctor just left. He will be back in a few hours, but I should warn you….” The nurse hesitated and it looked as if she was carefully choosing the right words. “Your father in law’s heart has been very badly damaged, and he is on life support. The machines are breathing for him now.”
What was the nurse trying to tell me? Was Jack’s father going to die? People had heart attacks all the time and survived. I suddenly felt a wave of nausea and the room began to spin.
“Mrs. Heston, are you alright?” The nurse’s voice was full of concern as she took a quick step towards me.
Jack seemed to snap out of his fog and I heard panic in his voice when he spoke. “Syd, are you okay?” He turned to stand in front of me, grabbing my shoulders to steady me.
I took a deep breath in and struggled to regain my composure. I was supposed to be there supporting Jack, not the other way around. “Yes, yes, I’m fine. Sorry, hospitals sometimes make me queasy.” I feigned a small smile.
Jack watched me for a moment and then nodded, seemingly satisfied at my answer. We walked over to Mr. Heston’s bed and the sight startled me. The usually tan, vibrant man was pale and hollow-looking. There were machines moving up and down and monitors flashing numbers, all feeding from wires draped loosely from his lifeless body.
Jack stood looking at his father for a long time without saying a word. Long minutes passed as my heart ached, watching the man I loved looking lost as he stared down at the lifeless body before him. Eventually, I pulled two chairs from the foot of the bed over to the side so that we could sit next to him together. The man that lay before me looked so helpless and lonely. I knew how Jack felt about him, but it still broke my heart to see him that way. I couldn’t imagine what Jack must have been feeling.
Without thinking, I reached out and took the man’s hand. My eyes welled up as the hand didn’t respond to my touch. I just knew someone needed to comfort him at that moment, no matter what he had done in his life. I saw Jack’s jaw tense out of the corner of my eye, but he didn’t say a word.
“He shouldn’t be alone now,” I whispered to Jack.
Jack studied me for a moment and eventually nodded his head, taking my other hand in his.
Hours went by, but it felt like days as we sat and waited for the doctor to come in. When the doctor finally arrived, he explained that they were going to take him for a head scan to check for brain activity and we would know more after we received the results. When the transporters came to take him, the nurses suggested we go find some coffee and breakfast.
I told Jack that we should probably call Betty, as I sipped my coffee looking out the window at the rush hour traffic outside. He agreed, but I was surprised when he handed me his phone. I gave Betty an update and promised to call her when I had more news.
***
It was at least three hours later, and we had resumed our positions next to Mr. Heston’s bed, by the time the Doctor came back. I watched for any sign of life as I held his hand, but the more time that passed, the less hope I had.
“Can we speak out in the hallway, Mr. and Mrs. Heston?” The doctor’s voice was somber and I didn’t think our conversation was going to bring good news.
Jack and I followed him dutifully to the hall, our clamped hands never loosening. “I’m sorry to tell you, but the repeat scan found no brain activity. It’s been twelve hours, so the chances of any meaningful recovery have drastically decreased. We will repeat the scan in twelve hours before making a final diagnosis, but, at this point, you may want to begin to prepare yourself.” The doctor paused to let us take in the enormity of what he had just told us.
“Does your father have a DNR?” The doctor looked to us both, and I looked to Jack.
“I have no idea.” Jack squeezed my hand as he spoke.
“Is there anyone that would know?”
Jack didn’t respond. I put my free hand on Jack’s arm. He was squeezing my hand so tightly that my fingers were starting to go numb. He looked down at me in response to my touch.
“Betty, maybe?” I had no idea who else Mr. Heston was close enough to entrust anything of that magnitude to.
Jack nodded and looked back to the Doctor. “We will make some calls. Thank you, Doctor.”
***
The next twelve hours felt like months. The nurses suggested we leave and come back, since there was no change in his status, but Jack didn’t seem to want to go anywhere and I thought that Mr. Heston shouldn’t be left alone anyway. I knew how Jack felt about the man, but there are times in life when all old grudges and animosities have to be set aside, and it was definitely one of those times.
By the time the doctor came back after the third scan, I was already sure what it would confirm. I had sat with Mr. Heston’s cold, lifeless hand in mine for almost a full day and I already knew that the man was gone. The shell was still being kept alive by machines, but my heart told me that his life that once was, was over.
The doctor confirmed my suspicion and we called Betty to messenger over the original DNR form that she had already faxed to the hospital. Even though I had never met Betty, I knew who she was when I saw Jack’s reaction to the older woman walking through the ICU toward us. He looked at her the way a boy looked at his mother. I knew she had been with Mr. Heston since Jack was a baby, but the way he looked at her confirmed that they had all been close once.
“You didn’t have to bring it down yourself, Betty.” Jack’s words said one thing, but I could tell he was comforted by the woman’s appearance.
Betty reached out and pulled Jack into a hug. “You boys are my family, this is where I belong.”
Jack nodded and attempted a small smile. “Betty, this is Sydney.”
The old woman surprised me by pulling me in for a hug. “I’m so glad I finally got to meet you, Sydney. I’ve heard so much about you.”
Interesting. I wondered who had told her whatever she had heard. “It’s nice to meet you too, Betty.”
***
I’m not sure what I thought was going to happen when the time came to turn off the life support, but whatever was in my head was definitely more climatic than how it happened. When the time came, a young doctor we had never met walked over and said a few words and then simply turned off all of the machines except the heart monitor. It took about five minutes. The three of us, Betty, Jack and I, stood together and watched as the numbers slowly declined. Seventy-five. A minute later, fifty-two. Forty. Another minute later, twenty-seven. Finally, the slow descent hit zero and the blips on the screen that once were mountains became flat plains.
Betty and I cried quietly as the doctor turned off the last monitor and manually checked for a pulse that he knew was already gone. It felt ceremonial rather than necessary. “Time of death, 6:52am.”