“What do you want to sing?” he asked, about to flip through the songs.

“Soundgarden!” Dex yelled from the back of the room. I looked over everyone’s head and saw him giving me the OK sign and smiling cheekily. He had sat back down at the table beside Rebecca and Emily. Of course he would say that. He wanted to hear it ever since I told him I did a Chris Cornell impression. Actually it was more of a parody than an impression…

“Ah, a Seattle favorite,” the MC said, and touched a few buttons on the machine. “You got it, Dex. We don’t have much selection here, so it’ll have to be this Pretty Noose.”

Luckily “Pretty Noose” wasn’t the hardest song to sing and I knew it by heart so I didn’t need to look at the lyrics. I nodded, swallowed hard, my eyes avoiding the crowd, knowing that again everyone was looking at me. As the “wah-wah” guitar intro flowed in, I quickly kicked off my shoes beside me, not risking it. And I waited.

I nodded my head in time to the cymbal hits, my fingers dancing beside me to guitar. Then the drums and sound burst in and I put the mic to my lips, and sang (overdramatically) along.

By the time I was done with the first verse, my voice was warmed up and I was singing/imitating the shit out of the song. My voice was surprisingly powerful and clear, only cracking at certain bits. The Riff Raff crew at the front were clapping already and letting out little woos. I was too embarrassed to look at my table, so I kept my eyes closed and channeled as much energy into my “performance” as I could. I acted like I was being hung from a noose and headbanged along with the beat.

When I wasn’t doing that, I was acting like I was at a drum set. When I imitated the noose for the second time I looked over at Dex. He was watching me, not smiling, just looking amazed. I took that as a good sign, then fell dramatically to my knees just in time for the guitar solo, which I pretended to play (even though I was never able to play it well in real life). I air-guitared and everyone cheered. I reached back and pulled the rest of my hair loose, so when I got back up to my feet, I was able to headbang with abandon, my black tresses flying everywhere.

Near the end of the song, everyone was singing along (like the true Seattleites they were) and I finished it off by giving a dramatic, “Yeah!”

The room erupted into applause. I stood up straight, my knees shaking against each other, and brushed my hair off my face. I beamed at the attention. I couldn’t help it.

“Great job miss…miss…” the MC said as he came back on the stage and took the mic from me.

“Palomino!” someone yelled from one of the tables.

“Ah yes, round of applause for Miss Palomino. Now, who is next?”

I exited the stage, grabbing my shoes as I went, just as some forty-something woman from the animal show hopped up. I walked barefoot over to the bar and leaned against it while putting my dreaded shoes back on my feet.

“Fuck me,” Dex exclaimed. I looked up and smiled at him. He was standing beside me, still looking awed.

“It was your song, Dex,” I said.

“You…you…”

I gave him an expectant look.

“You’re going to put me to shame when I go up there.”

“Pffft,” I said, and turned back to the bar to get the bartender’s attention. I got it right away. He was tall, wiry and cute and grinned at me.

“What can I get for you, gorgeous?” he asked, his hand sliding over the glasses beneath the counter.

“I’m getting it,” Dex said, leaning against the counter beside me, his shoulder pressed up against mine. He threw a fifty in front of the bartender.

I raised my brow at him, trying not to laugh. “High rolling, are we now?”

“Just keep it under ten bucks,” Dex said with a wink.

I nudged him playfully and told the bartender to pour us both a Jack and Coke.

“Rubbing off on you again, am I?” Dex asked.

I rolled my eyes and turned around to survey the room. Jenn was back at the table now beside Bradley. Dex followed my eyes and sighed.

“I know,” he said slowly.

I eyed him quizzically. “Did you hear about what happened?”

“What happened?” he asked. He seemed sincere.

“I’ll tell you later,” I said quickly, not wanting to get into it here. Not until after everyone had cooled down.

“Always with the later, Perry. What if there is no later?”

I gave him a strange look. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he started, reaching across the bar and handing me my drink, “we really oughta start living in the now, don’t you think?”

He raised his glass. I raised mine. We clinked. I was about to take a sip but he said, “Uh-uh, Perry. You have to look me in the eyes. Otherwise it’s seven years bad sex. For both of us. And we can’t have that, can we?”


I blushed again and looked deep into his eyes. He was looking at me like he never had before. His dark brown beautiful eyes that were so familiar to me had suddenly changed. There was another layer there, this one filled with things I didn’t dare dream about. Longing, passion, lust and intensity. I wondered how sudden the change was. Maybe he had always looked at me like that and I was only just noticing.

We both took a slow sip of our drinks, not taking our eyes off each other. He smiled, his lips twitching in an almost predatory way. I couldn’t say I wasn’t returning the same look.

“Uh, sir, your change?” the bartender’s voice penetrated the space between our interlocked eyes.

Dex tore his gaze off of me and smiled at the bartender, unamused. “Yes, thanks.”

He swiped the change from him and tossed a ten dollar bill on the table as a tip.

I felt awkward and off guard so I straightened up, instinctively smoothing my hair behind my ears. “You are a high roller,” I joked, my voice uneven.

He smirked at that but it couldn’t dissipate the awkwardness and sudden tension between us.

“Guess we better join the others,” he said, clearing his throat. He walked toward the table. I followed.

To their credit, Jenn and Bradley weren’t talking to each other. Bradley was busy texting someone and Jenn was involved in small talk with a woman at the table next to them. As I took my seat, Rebecca and Emily broke out into little claps.

“Huzzah!” Rebecca said giddily. “You’re a rock star, Perry!”

I waved at her bashfully. “Oh come on, that was a piss-poor impression.”

“No, it was awesome,” Emily shot in.

I took my seat as Dex took his and he whispered into my ear, “What did I tell you about taking a compliment?”

I nodded. I smiled gratefully at Rebecca and Emily. It was a hard thing to accept but I was learning. I don’t think I had ever been complimented so much in my entire life. This evening had almost become the high point of my existence.

“Well, it’s my turn now,” Dex said and abruptly got out of his seat. The song had just ended (another person attempting to sing to Elton John) and the last singer was coming off the stage to polite golf claps.

I watched Dex saunter his way to the front of the stage, swaying a bit and bumping into the occasional chair. The booze was starting to kick in with him.

Rebecca placed her hand on mine and gave it a quick squeeze.

“How are you doing?” she asked sweetly, her eyes flitting to Jenn and back. I didn’t bother following them. I was avoiding looking in Jenn’s direction like I’d get some eye disease if I did.

“Good,” I answered, then remembered the way Dex had looked at me only moments earlier. “I think. Maybe better than good.”

She smiled quickly. “Good.”

We turned our attention to Dex, who was now on the stage and whispering something to the MC. The MC nodded, looking impressed, and then plugged a few things on the machine.

“He’s quite the singer,” Rebecca said, loudly this time, so that Jenn and Bradley both looked at her. She nodded at the stage and suddenly Dex had everyone’s attention.

The song he chose started to play. It took a while for me to recognize it. It was “This Guy’s In Love With You” by Herb Alpert, written by Burt Bacharach. An old song and one I didn’t know too well, but it somehow suited Dex and loungey/crooner act just fine.

More than fine, actually. The minute Dex got the mic, he was hamming it up to the extreme. His voice was flawless and better than Herb’s. He was acting the song out, stepping off the stage and serenading all the women at the Amanda Panda table, telling them all that he needed and wanted their love.

I know I had a stupid smile on my face as I watched him. I couldn’t help it and I didn’t care who it saw it.

Then he left the table, the women’s gazes following him adoringly. He walked over to our table. My heart pounded loudly in my head. He started singing to Rebecca and Emily first. They giggled in response.

Then he turned to Jenn. And, at the most dramatic part, he belted the song out…to her. His voice soared, his eyes fixed on her and she…she just looked away. She looked at Bradley. And as much as I hated the fact that Dex tried one last attempt to “woo” Jenn or make things right with her, it broke my heart to see his beautiful effort going to waste right in front of him.

But if it bothered him, he didn’t show it. He just cruised back to the stage, giving a few high fives to the Riff Raff crew before he stepped back on.

He continued the song, but this time his attention was only in one place and in one place to the end.

It was straight ahead.

On me.

Every note he sang, every gesture he made to his heart, he made it without breaking eye contact with me. The rest of the room seemed to drift away, fizzling out at the corner of my vision. According to the lyrics, he needed me to say I was I love with him...this guy. And I beamed it back at him, unable to look away. Because…I was in love with that guy. It was a poignant moment between the two of us and it was a moment we would always have, no matter what happened tomorrow.

When the song wound down and he was swaying to the remaining beats, Jenn and Bradley both got up, walked around the tables and left the room. I don’t know if anyone else besides Rebecca and Emily noticed. Maybe Fae. And definitely Dex. His eyes darted to the side and followed their forms as they left. And his posture shrank by at least a foot.

Dex took the mic and tossed it up at the MC, who caught it awkwardly. Then Dex casually leaped off the stage and went down the corridor as if to follow Jenn and Bradley.

I looked at Rebecca, unsure if I should do something.

“Go after him,” she said determinedly. “And if looks like he’s about to beat up Bradley, well then, for heaven’s sake…let him!”

I nodded and got out of my seat. I walked quickly out of the room, hoping no one thought the mass of people who just left the room was a bit suspicious. Maybe no one would notice that half of Wine Babes and all of Experiment in Terror was missing.

I walked as fast as my killer pumps would allow, not dwelling on the blisters that had formed on top of my toes (thanks, stupid toe pads), past the washrooms and through the restaurant. It was getting late now and the place was only half-full with late-night revelers. They all eyed me as I hurried past.



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