“I know where my loyalties lie.”

But my mom didn’t say anything. She just eyed his bag once when we walked in, then asked what we were up to.

“We are going to go finish our classics so we can finally check that item off the list.”

“But first I am going to fill my stomach with garbage, Mrs. Turner. And I will need to walk it off. You want to go on a walk with us in ten minutes?”

His offer surprised me. We hadn’t talked about doing that. He just knew I was worried about her.

“I think I do, Cooper.”

He stuck a fry in his mouth, and when my mom went back to her book, I mouthed, thank you.

He winked at me.

After we made it to the park and back with zero resistance from my mom, she insisted on showing Cooper my now-finished sunrise painting, like it was a priceless masterpiece. Maybe this was part of my problem. The people around me thought my paintings were much better than they were. They’d given me false confidence all these years.

Against the side wall, with soft cotton covering draped over them, were the spotlight and quad paintings. I thought about showing off those too, but I didn’t. I’d save some surprises for them to see if I made it into the show.

After the sunrise painting was thoroughly analyzed, Cooper and I went to my room.

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“That painting is really good, Abs.”

“Thanks.”

“Why do you sound like you don’t believe me?”

“Because Mr. Wallace said he was willing to take a second look at my paintings, and I feel like they have to be a hundred times better than the last ones he saw. I don’t know if they’re there yet.” I threw him his book, which he’d left on my desk when he first arrived at my house before our fast-food run, and I pulled mine out of the top drawer of my nightstand and settled onto my bed. If I could finish this book today, then I wouldn’t have to worry about checking off another item for a couple of days. “I just need to finish the list.”

“The magical list.” Cooper made his way over to it and studied it for several minutes. “Why did you already check off ‘have your heart broken’?”

My heart seemed to stop in my chest with that question. We had successfully avoided this subject for a year. Did I really want to bring it up now? I kept my gaze steady on him even though I wanted to look away. “Because I have.”

Cooper’s eyes shot to the ground, then met mine again. He knew. “Why did you write it on here to begin with then?” he asked softly.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Since I’d already accomplished it, I wrote it down. I wanted to feel like I had at least a little depth, I guess.”

He nodded slowly. We were going to move past this quickly. Continue to ignore what had happened a year ago. I could tell. I could linger. Say something. But I’d already done that once. If his feelings were different than they had been a year ago, it was his turn to put them out there.

“What about you? Can you check ‘have your heart broken’ off your list?” I honestly didn’t know the answer to that question. I’d been a witness to pretty much all of his relationships, but I had no idea if he’d ever truly been in love with a girl before. He’d never told me he had, so I assumed he hadn’t.

“No. I can’t,” he said. I was surprised by the relief that coursed through my body.

He jumped onto my bed next to me, back first, and opened up his book.

My phone buzzed with a new email. I pulled it up. Nobody emailed me except my dad, so I wasn’t surprised to see his name in my inbox.

“Your dad?” Cooper asked, peering over the top of his book at me.

“Yeah.” I read the email to myself.

To my daughter, who is better than any of my other daughters at emailing me. From her dad, who couldn’t get to a computer for a few days.

Why haven’t I made you watch the sunrise before? Have you ever tried waking yourself up at five a.m.? That’s your answer. I’m glad I don’t have to ask twenty questions about Elliot, because I can’t think of twenty questions to ask. Well, except tell me his last name so I can run a background check. What about that other boy in your life? What’s his name? Your mom says he still comes around a lot. I hope he’s treating you nice. We’re going to be busy here for the next couple of weeks moving locations. Sorry in advance if I can’t email/call as often as normal. It sounds like you’re keeping yourself busy with your list. Make sure you update me, I like to hear about your adventures.

I smiled and pointed to my desk, which was closer to Cooper. “Can you hand me my laptop?”

He reached over and grabbed it, then set it on my legs. “What’s the news from your dad?”

“Not much. He doesn’t really tell me a lot of what’s happening over there in email for security reasons. So it’s mostly just him asking about me.”

“Does your dad like me? I can never tell when he’s home.”

“My dad likes you.”

“Good, because he’s a little scary.”

I laughed. “He’s harmless.”

I opened my laptop and typed a response, hoping he’d get it before they had to move their camp.

From your only daughter, who, if she found out others existed, would fight them to the death to maintain that title. Ha. Ha. Two laughs. One for the background-check idea and one for you pretending not to know Cooper’s name. Thanks for those. You know I like to laugh. As for an update, I’m crawling my way through Crime and Punishment and nearing the end. I tried dried crickets. I don’t recommend them, but they do taste decent with ice cream. Mr. Wallace is having me take a preschool group through the museum on Saturday, so that should be fun. And I decided to go on a date with Elliot No Last Name. I’m only telling you because I know Mom will. It’s not a big deal. Also, be safe!!! XOXO

Before I closed my laptop, I clicked on a saved tab at the top of the screen.

“You know,” Cooper said when the new page came up, “you could actually just send in an application instead of staring at that page every time you get on the computer . . . or your phone.”

“I will. I’m waiting to see how the showcase plays out though. I need a sale.”

Cooper jammed his finger onto my screen. “Recommended requirements. Last I checked the word recommended meant optional.”

“Lots of people apply for the winter program. I want to give myself every advantage.”

“Stalling,” Cooper coughed out.

“I am not.”

“We should finish the list so you can show Mr. Wallace your paintings and have no more excuses.”

I ignored his jab this time and said, “You’re right. Let’s do one of the ‘try something new’ items, since we have a couple of those left to do.” And saying that out loud reminded me of something. “Did you ever take Iris to that underground garden? That would count for you.”

“No, she didn’t want to do that. We ended up at the movie on the beach.”

“Hey, the beach movie is our thing.”

“I know. I’m sorry. She didn’t want to go to the gardens.”

I swallowed down my hurt. “What kind of monster are you going out with?”

He smacked me on the shoulder once with his book, then opened it. I opened my book as well, then let my left hand fall against his right arm and rest there. When he took twice as long to turn the page of his book one-handed, rather than move his arm, I smiled, but like always, didn’t let myself read into it too much.




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