The interview ended, cutting back to the host talking about Jackson's new movie and about how well it was doing in the box office. I sat in stunned silence, a dangerous thought blooming in my head. He had sounded so sincere. Could he really mean everything he was saying? Could he still be in love with me? I shook my head at the ridiculous notion. He had said we had parted because of a misunderstanding. Jackson screwing Claire was more than a misunderstanding. I had to be careful not to take the things he said to heart. It was all to diffuse the situation.
Despite my rationalization, I was on pins and needles waiting for Jackson to arrive. I checked the time obsessively, willing it to go by faster.
I jumped when I heard my phone, the rhythm of the rings signaling that it was Harry downstairs.
"Hi, Harry."
"Emma, Jackson Reynard is here to see you." Harry couldn't mask the excitement in his voice.
"Send him up."
I checked my reflection in my mirror again, smoothing down my hair and swiping on another layer of lip-gloss. At the rate I was going, Jackson was going to have to squint when looking at me because of the glare caused by the amount of gloss I had already applied.
I waited a beat before opening the door when I heard him knock. Jackson looked irresistible standing outside my door, dressed casually in jeans and a grey button-down shirt that was untucked and cuffed at the sleeves. His hair was getting longer, reminiscent of how it had looked when we were together five years ago. He looked tired but happy to see me.
"Come in," I said, stepping back so that he could enter. I nervously watched him walk in, his presence filling the small space of my apartment. "Do you want something to drink?"
Jackson quirked his mouth, looking down at me. "I remember demanding that request the last time I was here."
I gave him a small smile. "I've decided that civility is probably the best route to go since we're in this mess together. So would you like a drink? I should tell you that all I have to offer is water or wine."
"Sounds biblical," Jackson said, rocking back on his heels and looking nervous. "I'll take the wine."
"Have a seat in the living room. I'll be right out with the wine."
I was grateful when Jackson followed my direction and disappeared into the living room. I needed some space between us to get my head on straight. Jackson seemed as on edge as I was, and it was tiring being on high alert.
Jackson looked up from the couch when I walked into the living room, silently taking the glass of wine I offered him. I sat on the couch as well, taking care not to sit too close.
"Did you watch it?"
I nodded my head, taking a large sip of my wine. I needed all the liquid courage I could get. "So what's next on Marcie's plan of attack?"
Jackson looked disappointed that I didn't comment further on his interview tonight, but I didn't know if I could discuss it without dissolving into tears.
"We have to be seen together. Now the press is clamoring for a love story between us."
"Is that a good idea?" I asked hesitatingly. "Won't that fuel the fire?"
"They just want a happy ending. The press likes those almost as much as messy breakups. If we give it to them, they'll start to leave us alone."
I frowned, not knowing if I agreed with Jackson and Marcie's plan, but I didn't have any better ideas. "Okay, I guess you guys know better than I do."
"Have dinner with me tomorrow night. We can go to Romero's."
I nodded jerkily, the thought of going to dinner at Romero's making me tense. We had gone there regularly when we were dating and it brought back a rush of memories. Jackson reached up, gently cupping my cheek with his hand.
"Do you remember the first time we ate dinner there?" he asked softly, his eyes shining with remembrance. "You ordered the squid ink pasta, not realizing that it would actually be black. You were so horrified that you couldn't eat it. It looked too much like worms to you. We ended up switching plates and I was stuck with it while you ate my ravioli."
"I offered to share the ravioli," I replied with a shy smile. "It's not my fault you were insistent on sacrificing your dinner and eating my squid ink pasta. I thought you said you liked it."
"It was horrible," Jackson admitted with a wry smile. His smile faded as his gaze traveled my face as if he were memorizing my features. He looked somber as his thumb grazed my bottom lip. "I would sacrifice anything for you. Don't you know that by now?"
My fists clenched in my lap, not understanding why he was saying these things to me. "I think you need to be careful," I said with a rueful smile, wanting to lighten the mood. "You're going to start believing all the things you said in the interview tonight."
Jackson's face tightened as his hand dropped, his eyes looking brittle. "I didn't say anything that wasn't true, except for the stuff about Candace."
My breath caught, not wanting to believe him. "But...you said you still loved me."
"And I still do." Jackson's voice was barely a whisper, but my heart shouted in response. Yet I was afraid to believe him.
"The important question is, do you still love me?" Jackson's mouth twisted, as if he was bracing himself for the worst. "Did you ever love me?"
"How can you ask me that again?" I said, my voice choking and my throat tightening with a sob. "You were my life. I felt like I died when we broke up. Do you know how long it took for me to piece my life back together?"
Jackson grasped my arms gently, looking desperate. "Then why did you do it? Why did you push me away?"
I dropped my head, the pain in Jackson's eyes killing me. "I thought I was doing the right thing. By the time I realized I was making a huge mistake, it was too late. I found out about Claire."
Jackson lifted my chin with one hand so that I was staring into his eyes. "Emma, Claire was a mistake. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. I regretted it so much afterwards. I hated myself for it, even though you had been the one to leave me. The only thing that kept me from begging you to take me back was because I thought you were with Sean. Claire told me you were engaged within a week and married within three months."
"You would really trust anything Claire told you? All along, I thought she was my friend, but I think she secretly hated me. Because she wanted you."
Jackson grabbed my hand, pressing it against his chest. "But she never had this. She never had my heart. It belongs only to you." Jackson took a shuddering breath before continuing. "We can still make this right. I meant everything I said tonight in the interview. I love you, Emma. I'll give up everything if it means we're together. Just give me another chance."